Issue51 [清凉夏日2小组]第一次作业

Amelia1214UID: 2228270

题目：ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
字数：523        用时：上午 12:45:00          日期：2006-7-16

Along with the rapid economic development, some basic necessities of life have been meeted, so an increasing number of people over recent years pay much more attention to education, which plays a key role in the progress of our society as well as in a person's life. It is generally accepted that the purpose of education is to transmit knowledge, teach students life skills and make one's mind a pleasant place which to spend one's time. Undoubtedly, we still have a long way to go toward the targets. Along the way, how to make education effectively is an thorny problem needed solving.

As an old saying goes that,  no two leaves are completely same. Each student has his or her unique interests and requirements. A Brithish historian said, "Interest is ever beginning of knowledge as fire is of light. Interests of each student bears on whether he or she would master certain knowledge. When one does what he likes, he will never feel tired, bored or monotonous. Thus, it is more likely for a person to be high up in the pictures in his favorite field. Mazart is a case in point. At first, his father wanted him to become a government official.While Mozart addicted to music and had a strikingly gift in music. Fortunately, his father abandoned his origin idea. Otherwise, the world might have a good officer, but lost a great musician. On the contrary, imagine that students have little choice but to passively recieved the information provided by teachers, without giving opportunities to become actively involved in the process of education, certainly the result will be disappointing. In this sense, only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests will education be truly effective.

However, it is because each individual is different, so according to the needs and interests of each student to design educational programmes is impossible, and also unrealistic. There many external contrains to education, such as economic condition, the lacks of educational resources and so on. For example, in China, many children in remote regions even have no textbooks and learning appliances and to go to school is very satisfying for them. In this case, how to further requirments that each student be specially designed. Even in the most developed country, there are not enough educational speciallists who are indispensable to design the teaching methods. In a word, the society does not have the ample resources for their education system enhancement.

In addition, it is often overlooked that what are the really needs and interests of each student. Adolescents are not mature enough to decide what they need. Thus, some students' requirement is irrational because of their youth and ignorance. Meeting their requirements would only result in chaos in education. Under this circumstances, teachers should take effective measures to lead them to the right way instead of giving them chances to choose.

To sum up, an effective education is hard to reach. Nevertheless, teachers and students should make efforts together to design proper educatioal methods according to students' different character and prevent the wrong needs and interests form developing unboundedly by guiding effectively.

outlines: balance
1 每个人需求和兴趣都不同，应该根据个人特点进行教育
2 教育资源有限，在现有条件下不能实现
3 学生不一定知道自己需要什么，不能完全按他们的要求

还是严重超时:mad:

[ 本帖最后由 Amelia1214 于 2006-7-16 20:13 编辑 ]

PsychocandyUID: 171159

Along with the rapid economic development, some basic necessities of life have been meeted, so an increasing number of people over recent years pay much more attention to education, which plays a key role in the progress of our society as well as in a person's life. It is generally accepted that the purpose of education is to transmit knowledge, teach students life skills and make one's mind a pleasant place which to (which to语法不对，这样spend这个动词就没有主语，主语不可能是place，建议可以干脆place这句后面就结束)spend one's time. Undoubtedly, we still have a long way to go toward the targets. Along the way, how to make education effectively (如果意思是使得教育有效，那就应该改成make education effective)is an thorny problem needed (改成that needs to be solved)solving.

As an old saying goes that,  no two leaves are completely (加the)same. Each student has his or her unique interests and requirements. A Brithish historian said, "Interest is ever beginning of knowledge as fire is of light. Interests of each student bears on whether he or she would master certain knowledge. When one does what he likes, he will never feel tired, bored or monotonous. Thus, it is more likely for a person to be high up in the pictures in his favorite field. Mazart is a case in point. At first, his father wanted him to become a government official. While Mozart (加was)addicted to music and had a strikingly(改成striking) gift in music. Fortunately, his father abandoned his origin (改original)idea. Otherwise, the world might have (过去情况的虚拟，改成would have had)a good officer, but lost a great musician. (这个例子应该进一步指出Mozart的教育是如何根据他独特的个性和兴趣，因而是成功的教育并造就伟大的音乐家，这样和本段的中心结合更紧密。)On the contrary, imagine that (可以在这里加if，假设，跟后面certainly the result will be disappointing呼应)students have little choice but to 去掉to，也可以改成have topassively recieved (改成原形receive)the information provided by teachers, without giving (改成being given，主语是学生要被动)opportunities to become actively involved in the process of education, certainly the result will be disappointing. In this sense, only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests will education be truly effective.

However, it is because each individual is different, so according to the needs and interests of each student to design educational programmes is impossible, and also unrealistic. There many external contrains(constraints) to education, such as economic condition, the lacks of educational resources and so on. For example, in China, many children in remote regions even have no textbooks and learning appliances and to go to school is very satisfying for them. In this case, how to further requirments that each student be specially designed.(英语也有反问句吗？不如干脆后面回答一下这么做不可能) Even in the most developed country(countries), there are not enough educational speciallists who are indispensable to design (indispensable for designing)the teaching methods. In a word, the society does not have the ample resources for their education system enhancement.

In addition, it is often overlooked that what are the really (改real)needs and interests of each student(这句语法感觉不对). Adolescents are not mature enough to decide what they need. Thus, some students' requirement is irrational because of their youth and ignorance. Meeting their requirements would only result in chaos in education. Under this circumstances, teachers should take effective measures to lead them to the right way instead of giving them chances to choose.

To sum up, an effective education is hard to reach. Nevertheless, teachers and students should make efforts together to design proper educatioal methods according to students' different character and prevent the wrong needs and interests form developing unboundedly by guiding (guide要及物，改guiding students，或者不妨改成by giving effective guidance)effectively.
(最后这一段提了一些建议，所以并不是总结上面各段，不是sum up。an effective education is hard to reach这个概念是从上面两段的意思中引出来的，也不是一种总结。我个人感觉应该首先作总结，然后再提建议，如老师学生共同建设合理的教育体制的建议等等。如果不总结，就不要使用sum up这个词，干脆最后一段专门提建议也行。)

(总体来讲，各个body段之间是①转折②并列③的关系，逻辑关系很清晰)

outlines: balance
1 每个人需求和兴趣都不同，应该根据个人特点进行教育
2 教育资源有限，在现有条件下不能实现
3 学生不一定知道自己需要什么，不能完全按他们的要求

[ 本帖最后由 Psychocandy 于 2006-7-17 14:20 编辑 ]

Amelia1214UID: 2228270

3X
:handshake

helenlhhUID: 2127690

思路很清晰，论证也不错，但语言上还是要好好斟酌一下