Issue147 0610G同主题写作第三期 & FLY AW小组第49次作业（555字）

夜一UID: 2130338

Issue147  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：70分4秒     390 words
从2006年6月17日13时57分到2006年6月17日15时70分
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Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.
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I cannot agree with the speaker that tradition, concepts and theories inherited from predecessors, and modernization, the up-to-date knowledge and ideas, are incompatible, and one must choose between them. The modernization consists of two parts: discoveries as well as inventions developed from one's existing knowledge, and new concepts and ideas coming from outside. While the generation of the former is based on traditional learning, the latter is not always incompatible with traditional concepts and attitudes.

On one hand, the first part of modernization, discoveries and inventions developed from one's existing knowledge, is not conflicting with traditional knowledge at all. On the contrary, the evolvement of human civilization is a process of accumulation, and this part of modernization is based on traditional learning, whether scientifically, socially, or culturally. The up-to-date computer generates from the traditional circuit and calculation theories, while the present market management develops from the tradition concepts of productivity and requirement. Without existing knowledge, it is difficult for human beings to achieve new discoveries and creations. Traditional concepts and theories are included rather than excluded in modernization, and it is impossible to choose one and discard the other.

On the other hand, the second part of modernization, concepts and ideas coming from outside, is unavoidably more or less conflicting with tradition, because of the differences in understandings, attitudes, and intentions. Actually, some inherited concepts and up-to-date ideas are so conflicting that they are incompatible and people must choose between them. While the traditional agriculture activities of cultivating on burnt forest lands conflicts greatly with the modern concept of environment protection as well as continuous development, the traditional attitude of respecting males conflicts severely with the modern belief of equality. Besides, the traditional kingdom cannot coexist with the modern political idea of democracy.

However, the up-to-date concepts and ideas coming from outside is not always incompatible with traditional knowledge, even if they have generated from completely different nations or cultures. Take the traditional Chinese medicine and the modern West medicine for example, which do not have any similarities in fundamental concepts, medical theories, or conducting processes. While the former considers the human body as a whole, the latter separates the human body and studies the functions of each consistent. While the former emphasizes the entire effect of many drugs, the latter analyzes the construction of every single chemical compound. While the former focuses on special points on the human body, the latter carries out operations and physical treatment. Nevertheless, such completely distinguished disciplines seldom induce conflictions, but cooperate perfectly and effectively with each other in dealing with diseases and illness, because they have the same final target, that is, to rescue lives and improve people's health conditions. Learning can be distinguished as true or false, but cannot be categorized as traditional or modern. Tradition contains both truth and falsity, and so does modernization. As a result, the choice of truth is not limited by the definition of tradition or modernization. Tradition and modernization can be different, but not incompatible, and it is possible for people to choose one with the other together.

In conclusion, tradition serves as the basis of the modernization developed from one's existing knowledge, and is not always incompatible with the up-to-date concepts and ideas coming from outside. Even the completely different tradition and modernization sometimes allow people to choose both of them.

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

你对该题提的一些看法非常好，挺欣赏的，道声感谢，希望以后的活动多多提意见！^_^

KellyClarksonUID: 2176602

This essay is well-organized, and highly analytica except for some minor misuse in wording.


In body 2
"continuous development" should be "sustainable development"

"the traditional attitude of respecting males"
is better to be expressed as" the superority in social statues of males over females ".
Using one word, it is sexism. Your expression is improper.

modern belief of equality
is "egalitarianism"


"Besides, the traditional kingdom cannot coexist with the modern political idea of democracy."
In this sentence, "the traditional kingdom" and the polictical idea of democracy are not parallel to each other. Change to " the concept(or system or organization) of traditional kingdom". Actually, the opposite of democracy is autocracy which is the characteristic of the ancient dynasty and kingdom.

In body3,
You begin with " However, the up-to-date concepts and ideas coming from outside is not always incompatible with traditional knowledge, even if they have generated from completely different nations or cultures."

I guess this is the topic sentense for the para, but you equal "ideas coming from outside" to modernization. This is not appropriate. You should stress modernization. Do not try to avoid repeating the word by resorting to other vocab that is not exactly the same.

[ 本帖最后由 KellyClarkson 于 2006-7-18 05:18 编辑 ]

夜一UID: 2130338

谢谢斑竹的夸奖~
谢谢KellyClarkson的建议
在多处地方用词不恰当，多谢指正

不过KellyClarkson对于However, the up-to-date concepts and ideas coming from outside is not always incompatible with traditional knowledge, even if they have generated from completely different nations or cultures这句话可能有些误会了，这句话并不是equal "ideas coming from outside" to modernization的意思，实际上在第一段里，tradition的定义是inherited，而modenization的定义是up-to-date，所以我把modernization分成了两个部分，一部分是developed by one's own，另一部分是coming from outside

body1论述的是第一部分
body2论述的是第二部分，tradition与modernization相冲突的部分
body3是对body2的转折，也是对第二部分的补充说明，tradition与modernization即使不同也能统一的部分