ISSUE43 拍必回

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 448          TIME: 上午 01:16:40          DATE: 2006-7-25

The speaker asserts that an official should keep the highest ethical and moral standards to be a effective leader. According to common sense, this opinion is strongly advocated by some people, while others would not totally agree with it. As far as I am concerned, keeping high ethical and moral levels does benefit to the effect of a leader, however, it is neither possible nor necessary to maintain the highest ones.

On one hand, to be effective, a leader need to show an acceptable image, including the moral and ethical aspects, to the public. One with bad reputation could hardly earn any cognition or trust from the public. In fact, a scandal would force an official, no matter how powerful he or she is to retreat in shame. A supporting example for this is the last mayor of my hometown, who was supposed to have ill-used his power to assist his son in the campaign of a government position. Although there are still no direct and powerful evidences for this scandal now, the mayor have lost his job about a year ago, because his honesty and justice was suspected.

On the other hand, as known to all "the highest ethical and moral standards" could not be maintained by most people, maybe especially by the political people. As the saying goes, “there is no perfect man" People keep making mistakes, even when they know what they do is wrong. As to the political field, an official has to choose between losing moral standards and losing political rights all the time. "Pork barrel" is no longer a strange expression even to a Chinese student like me, I bet that nine of ten councilmen have been involved in events of this kind, and the left one is just going to get in. Why could not things like this be banned? Because the business of politics is business. One should compromise to others' profits to let his be compromised. It stands to the fact that an effective leader is impossible an ethical or moral one.

Furthermore, as a matter of fact, it is not necessary for a powerful leader to be but it is necessary for him or her to be like an ethical and moral one. Clinton’s zipper gate scandal occurs at the same time of his effective leadership, and the third emperor of Qing Dynasty is renowned for both the richness he brought to the country and the affairs he left to the people.

In conclusion, an effective leader is required to keep a high ethical and moral appearance in the public, however, it is neither possible nor necessary for him or her to be a really good one like that.

gringoireUID: 2221541

The speaker asserts that an official should keep the highest ethical and moral standards to be a effective leader.
-->an effective leader

According to common sense, this opinion is strongly advocated by some people, while others would not totally agree with it.
这个读着很别扭， others 是指代people，但感觉总象是opinion||| 也许这样更通顺点
... this opinion wins wholly support from some people, but it fails in the others.

As far as I am concerned, keeping high ethical and moral levels does benefit to the effect of a leader, however, it is neither possible nor necessary to maintain the highest ones.
还是别扭，可能是因为后面用了it做主语，和前面不很一致， 个人觉得这样更顺
...... pursuing for the higest is neither possible nor necessary.

the mayor have lost his job about a year ago,
lost

One should compromise to others' profits to let his be compromised.
没。。。。看懂| 什么叫 let his be compromised?

总体感觉是，语言不是很学术化， 另外就是第二部分的论证， 有点主观， 特别是i bet地用词， 主观色彩比较浓， 也许弄得更客观些，比较能迎合ets|||

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

3x楼上的，尤其是给出了改正，我就郁闷着这个话说不出来，不过马上要考了，语言只好靠边站的说了。

his代表his profits，个人认为还说得通

dicmiUID: 183392

The speaker asserts that an official should keep the highest ethical and moral standards to be a[an] effective leader. According to common sense[common sense其实太感性了，据说不推荐用，不过我也经常用，赫赫。另外，这句common sense在这里作用ms不大阿，去掉吧。后面就是陈述不同人的观点。Common sense没啥意义了~], this opinion is strongly advocated by some people, while others would not totally agree with it. As far as I am concerned, keeping high ethical and moral levels does benefit to the effect of a leader[does benefit the efficiency of leaders], [;]however, it is neither possible nor necessary to maintain the highest ones.

On one hand, to be effective, a leader need to show [demonstrate] an acceptable image, including the moral and ethical aspects, to the public. One with bad reputation could hardly earn any cognition or trust from the public. [For instance, ]In fact, a scandal would force an official, no matter how powerful he or she is to retreat in [a] shame. A supporting example for this is the last mayor of my hometown, who was supposed to have ill-used his power to assist his son in the campaign of a government position[这种例子不是用Nixon 的Watergate更加合适么？为什么要自己编例子？费事的说~]. Although there are still no direct and powerful evidences for this scandal now, the mayor have lost his job about a year ago, because his honesty and justice was suspected.[例子缺少了分析，内容上就单薄了一点赫赫]

On the other hand, as known to all[what is known to us all] "the highest ethical and moral standards" could not be maintained by most people, maybe especially by the political people[to maintain the highest ethical and moral standards is extremely difficult for people, especially those political officers. 这样是不是好一点？]. As the saying goes, “there is no perfect man" People keep making mistakes, even when they know what they do is wrong[即使知道叶耀犯错，最好有个例子支持下]. As to [As to 显得过于随意，用consider吧]the political field, an official has to choose between losing moral standards and losing political rights all the time[all the time？occasionally]. "Pork barrel"[这个是什么咚咚~~••••••••@_@] is no longer a strange expression even to a Chinese student like me, I bet that nine of ten councilmen have been involved in events of this kind, and the left one is just going to get in. Why could not things like this be banned? Because the business of politics is [a] business. One should compromise to others' profits to let his be compromised[这句话比较费解~]. It stands to the fact that an effective leader is impossible an ethical or moral one.[stands to 的用法不错~~：P]

Furthermore, as a matter of fact, it is not necessary for a powerful leader to be but it is necessary for him or her to be like [to be like？]an ethical and moral one. Clinton’s zipper gate scandal occurs at the same time of his effective leadership, and the third emperor of Qing Dynasty is renowned for both the richness he[要指明是who，不说乍一看还是为是Clinton呢] brought to the country and the affairs he left to the people.

In conclusion, an effective leader is required to keep a high ethical and moral appearance in[before] the public, however, it is neither possible nor necessary for him or her to be a really good one like that.

[论证还是清楚的，就是段内的结构上把握不是很到位，example之后最好跟上点分析，然后还要注意下句子哈：）]

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

[这种例子不是用Nixon 的Watergate更加合适么？为什么要自己编例子？费事的说~]

--当时不知道Nixon怎么拼得说:L

[即使知道叶耀犯错，最好有个例子支持下

--恩，这个自己写得时候也觉得要说两句。就是一下堵住了


Pork barrel 其实是个是米国人都知道的例子，很好的说--我是百科全书上查到的，建议dicmi了解下，嘿嘿知道你牛，难得有宝可以耍的说。

谢谢指正:lol

苯石UID: 2169611

Dicmi改得蛮细的了.

只说一句:
楼主的语法错误多了点, 还有可能字数不够吧?

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

表达较差的说，语法暂时没发现太多问题

morallreyUID: 2191298

楼主要注意加强例证之后的说理,
一般核心段落可才用如下结构:
主题句+说理+例证+说理+加总结
而且要从例子与主题句最有关联的角度去对例子进行引申说理.

感谢楼主拍砖,由于前面已经有战友对楼主的文章进行了深刻分析，
下次再帮楼主拍!

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

原帖由 morallrey 于 2006-7-29 01:10 发表
一般核心段落可才用如下结构:
主题句+说理+例证+说理+加总结
而且要从例子与主题句最有关联的角度去对例子进行引申说理.

幸亏保存了链接，要不就看不到你1点多批的砖头了，谢谢哈