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[i习作temp] issue41 求拍,还有三天就考! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-27 22:30:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS: 566          TIME: 0:41:38          DATE: 2006-7-27

Many people believe that in such a society that are totally based on science and technology, there are no place for nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling. In my analysis, these nonmainstream areas still play a supplementary role but not so vital as the arguer assert in this argument.

To start with, nonmainstream areas, in modern society, plays a role as recreation. After spending a day in work with pressure and sometimes unsatisfaction, people will find a game on the Internet such as fortune-telling for reassure. By clicking the mouse on the screen, one might find an answer for the future from this game. The possibilities of the answer is not important, and no matter whether we believe such an answer, but at least, we gain from the fortune-telling game by relaxing ourselves by finding an answer we are eager to know for so long. In some degree, nonmainstream areas can help us to escape from reality and enter a totally different world for a while to get out of the pressure from life.

For another, to some people who no longer have hope to live in the world., certain nonmainstream area may rescue them by offering them a certain image that they rely their belief on. I once learn from a report in maginzine that a girl suffered from a certain fatal disease and the doctor told her father there is no means that can save this girl and she might die in a few months' time. On hearing this, the father was disappointed and he try the last mean--sent his daughter to a fortune-teller. At first, he only thought that this will help his daughter to accept death in a more peaceful way. But beyond everyone's wildest guess, the girl became healthy after several months time with the fortune-teller, and finally recovered. In fact, it is the last hope stimulated by studying theories and beliefs that ordinary never desire save the daughter's spirit and health at last. This a truth but mysterious case referring to certain phenomena that we cannot explain now, but in doesn't mean that with the development of human wisdom, we will never solve these kinds of mystery.

What aforementioned also tells us some nonmainstream areas are beyond our knowledge, for the same while, they also provokes questions and thinking in our scientific areas. We can wildly imagine that some day, we will be able to explain some of the nonmainstream problems in an scientific way. To this, some of the nonmainstream subjects nowadays might become members of the mainstream areas. Therefore, we cannot define them as absolutely of no value.

However, we should not turn too much emphasis on nonmainstream areas since our society is mainly lead by the mainstream science strongly supported by logic and practices.  If we focus more on nonmainstream areas, it will bring disasters to our scientific world since these things are not well explained in an scientific way. Anyone can tell a certain theory without careful thinking. If we believe in this, the world will be full of uncertainty, there is no need to imagine that how the world will be.

To sum up, in order to promote the development of our society in a more proper way, we should stick to mainstream science as our means to progress while not neglect nonmainstream areas as a supplementry for the society in reassuring people or some other elements.
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沙发
发表于 2006-7-28 01:28:57 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS: 566          TIME: 0:41:38          DATE: 2006-7-27

Many people believe that in such a society that are totally based on science and technology, there are no place for nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling. In my analysis, these nonmainstream areas still play a supplementary role but not so vital as the arguer [assert][asserts] in this argument.

To start with, nonmainstream areas, in modern society, plays a role as recreation. After spending a day in work with pressure and sometimes unsatisfaction, people will find a game on the Internet such as fortune-telling for [reassure][reassure 是及物动词 改为relaxation]. By clicking the mouse on the screen, one might find an answer for the future from this game. The possibilities of the answer is not important, and no matter whether we believe such an answer, but at least, we gain from the fortune-telling game [by] relaxing ourselves [by][换成through吧] finding an answer we are eager to know for so long. In some degree, nonmainstream areas can help us to escape from reality and enter a totally different world for a while to get out of the pressure from life.

For another, to some people who [no longer have hope to live in the world.][感觉不是很地道,我没有见过这种用法 我喜欢用lose faith in living in the world], certain nonmainstream area may rescue them by offering [them][可省] a certain image that they rely their belief on. I once learn from a report in maginzine that a girl suffered from a certain fatal disease and the doctor told her father there [is][was] no means that [can][could] save this girl and she might die [in a few months' time][in a few months:in+时间表示这段时间以后,这样简洁一点^_^]. On hearing this, the father was disappointed and he [try][tried] the last mean--sent his daughter to a fortune-teller. At first, he only thought that this [will][would] help his daughter to accept death in a more peaceful way. But beyond everyone's wildest guess, the girl [became healthy ][became healthier day by day][after several months time][several months later] [with the fortune-teller][感觉在这里多余], and finally recovered. [In fact, it is the last hope stimulated by studying theories and beliefs that ordinary never desire save the daughter's spirit and health at last][这个强调句that后面我没读懂]. This [is]a truth but mysterious case referring to certain phenomena that we cannot explain now, but [in][it] doesn't mean that with the development of human wisdom, we will never solve these kinds of mystery.[在举这个例子的时候最好讲讲那个算命的给女孩讲了什么,为什么她奇迹般康复了,你所指的mystery是什么?]

What aforementioned also tells us some nonmainstream areas are beyond our knowledge, for the same while, they also provokes questions and thinking in our scientific areas. We can wildly imagine that some day, we will be able to explain some of the nonmainstream problems in an scientific way. To this, some of the nonmainstream subjects nowadays might become members of the mainstream areas. Therefore, we cannot define them as absolutely of no value.

However, we should not [turn][lay] too much emphasis on nonmainstream areas since [our society is mainly lead by the mainstream science strongly supported by logic and practices.][it is unchangeable that science and other intellectual areas are the mainstream which are based on reality and practices]  If we focus more on nonmainstream areas, it will bring disasters to our scientific world since these things are not well explained in an scientific way. [After all,]Anyone can tell a certain theory without careful thinking. If we believe in this, the world will be full of uncertainty, [there is no need to imagine that how the world will be.][在这里感觉有些多余]

To sum up, in order to promote the development of our society in a more proper way, we should stick to mainstream science as our means to progress while not neglect nonmainstream areas as a supplementry for the society in reassuring people or some other elements.[我认为结尾最好不要用一些含糊的词,比如说some other elements.]

仍然很羡慕你能这么快搞定一篇566的作文
谈点缺点
1 时态(也是我经常出错的地方^_^)
2 说理不深入,主要是因为限时的缘故,但既然当作模考的就大力度改一改吧,免得在考场上再相遇。我自己人为这篇说理起来很难,建议你从一下观点驳论:
A,那些算命的是否有科学基础,(当然不是,他们建立在想象和虚幻的基础上)
B,他们的目的是什么,(肯定不是想要伪人们解决问题的,有时候会愚弄误导大众)

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

板凳
发表于 2006-7-28 11:21:30 |只看该作者
非常感谢啊!有很多东西都想写都想写但又不知道如何表达,我会努力的!
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                  是为了一次又一次的归来[/i][/size]

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Sagittarius射手座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2006-7-28 12:00:13 |只看该作者
你写作文很含蓄阿。有些句子需要别人来猜你的意思哈哈。
第二段第一句recreation需要解释详细点。第二句的reassure我知道你意思。但是还是需要详细的。
第三段也是算命的讲了什么?关键的地方必须解释清楚。不能因为你心理面知道就以为别人也知道。现在是考试,不是谈恋爱呵呵。
第四段你是想说,非主流也可能变成主流么?感觉和题目没有什么相关的地方。至少从你的展开上还不够。
第五段写得不好。你要说非主流的不好之处。但是你自己却绕的很奇怪。什么相信非主流就会破坏我们解释科学现象?非主流主要可能还是迷惑人心,让人无法正视现实,活在幻想中。最后破坏自己的生活,无法与主流社会和谐相处什么的。建议看看北美范文这篇怎么写得。

总之,还不错吧。小错误还是又不少。继续加油。稳定情绪考就是。

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RE: issue41 求拍,还有三天就考! [修改]

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