argument71 炼铜

itswayUID: 183291

71Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.

提纲
1. 提炼单位铜需要的电量是否大幅度下降
2. 市场对铜的需求会直接影响铜的产量 进而影响用电量

另， 新技术的推广难度 原来漏掉了.现在补充上

btw 富矿和贫矿 用英语怎么说
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
In this argument, the author hastily draws a conclusion that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline significantly with the use of a new technology.However,he overlooks some crucial factors that may prevent the decline of electricity using in copper-extraction industry.Common sense tells us that the amount of electricity used by this industry is determined by two factors: one is the amount of electricity per unit of pure copper , the other is the total amount of pure copper produced in this industry.Both of these need careful analysis.

Firstly, is the amount of electricity per unit of pure copper decreased sharply as the new technologies are used? The answer is not sure. The author mentions that the advantage of the new technologies is more obvious when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Then what's the case if the ore is not rich in the proportion of copper? No direct evidence is provided for comparison. It is possible that when the proportion of copper in the ore is relative low , the new technologies performance worse than they do in the situation of high proportion ore. What's more, it is entirely likely that the ore in which copper is low takes much larger proportion of overall copper ore. These potential factors may weaken the advantage of new technologies. Besides this, the arguer fails to provide any evidence that the extracting efficiency of new technologies is as well as the old one or even better than the old one. If the fact is not so, we could not say the new are better than the old  because it is still possible that the new have to use more electricity than expected to produce the same amount of pure copper as the old do.In short, the author fails to make us be convinced that the new technologies are better than the old technologies from a comprehensive view.
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Secondly, the argument fails to provide any direct evidence that the new technologies have been widely used in copper-extraction industry. Some possible factors may prevent the use of new technologies regardless the efficiency of them. For instance, Cost is a key issue in industry, which means we could not narrowly think about the innovation without cost evaluation. It is possible that the substitution of technologies may cost so much that the profit of the copper-extraction industry woule decrease,which subsequently delays the progress of technical innovation.It is also likely that the new technologies function improperly more frequently than the old do.Additionally, the necessary training for handling and maintaining the new technologies also needs money. Without thoroughly think about the cost of new technologies , we may be misled by the one-side thinking.
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Finally, even if the new technologies are  better in efficiency of copper-extration and the cost issue is settled, the total amount of electricity is not bound to decline significantly. The author neglects the total needs for copper in the market. It is reasonable to assume that after the using of new technologies the cost of pure copper decreases considerably , leading to the sharp increasing of consume of pure copper. People could use more copper in those fields where copper was not used before for saving cost. In this case, the increasing of needs will promote the production of pure copper. The more copper is produced, the more electricity for using is needed. In other words, it is quite possible that the total amount of electricity for copper-extracting does not decline as expected with the influence of total productivity in the market.

To sum up, the author oversimplified this issue and lack of comprehensive thinking. It is better to make more and further investigation before coming to an overoptimistic conclusion.

感谢fenghua9801 的修改建议 我已在蓝色部分标出
我没有注意到单复数的问题，重复出错了几次.

第一个分论点是这样的 我写了两层意思 不过可能没写清楚.
首先是新技术的优势对贫矿和富矿一样明显吗 作者强调了富矿 especially... 而且40% 是 up to 我理解为最高达40% 那么下降多少其实是一个浮动的数字 应该跟矿的品质有关系.
这样 如果铜矿多是贫矿 那么新技术的优势就被削弱了.

其次是 单位铜矿石耗电下降 是否意味着 单位铜产品耗电也省下来了呢. 这就涉及炼铜的效率问题。而作者没有明确指出 效率是否提升 或者不变  甚至下降.

[ 本帖最后由 itsway 于 2006-8-3 14:32 编辑 ]

creativeUID: 2193617

In this argument, the author hastily draws a conclusion that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline significantly with the use of a new technology（题目里是technologies,我觉得还是保持复数比较好）.However,he（？在Argu里很少看见这个词，说得不对当我没说:D） overlooks some crucial factors that may prevent the decline of electricity using in copper-extraction industry.Common sense tells us that the amount of electricity used by(in) this industry is determined by two factors: one is the amount of electricity per unit of pure copper , the other is the total amount of pure copper produced in this industry.Both of these need careful (carefully) analysis.

Firstly, is the amount of electricity per unit of pure copper decreased sharply as the new technologies are used? The answer is not sure. The author mentions that the advantage of the new technologies is more obvious when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Then what's the case if the ore is not rich in the proportion of copper? No direct evidence is provided for comparison. It is possible that when the proportion of copper in the ore is relative low , the new technologies performance worse than they do in the situation of high proportion ore. What's more, it is entirely likely that the ore in which copper is low takes much larger proportion of overall copper ore. These potential factors may weaken the advantage of new technologies. Besides this, the arguer fails to provide any evidence that the extracting efficiency of new technologies is as well as the old one or even better than the old one. If the fact is not so, we could not say the new are better than the old  because it is still possible that the new have to use more electricity than expected to produce the same amount of pure copper as the old do.In short, the author fails to make us be convinced that the new technologies are better than the old technologies(题目里的old 是only，所以用单数比较好) from a comprehensive view.
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Secondly, the argument fails to provide any direct evidence that the new technologies have been widely used in copper-extraction industry. Some possible factors may prevent the use of new technologies regardless the efficiency of them. For instance, Cost(cost 小写) is a key issue in industry, which means we could not narrowly think about the innovation without cost evaluation. It is possible that the substitution of technologies may cost so much that the profit of the copper-extraction industry woule decrease,which subsequently delays the progress of technical innovation.It is also likely that the new technologies function improperly more frequently than the old do.Additionally, the necessary training for handling and maintaining the new technologies also needs money. Without thoroughly think about the cost of （the） new technologies , we may be misled by the one-side thinking.
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Finally, even if the new technologies are  better in efficiency of copper-extration and the cost issue is settled, the total amount of electricity is not bound to decline significantly. The author neglects the total needs for copper in the market. It is reasonable to assume that after the using of new technologies the cost of pure copper decreases considerably , leading to the sharp increasing of consume of pure copper. People could use more copper in those fields where copper was not used before for saving cost. In this case, the increasing of needs will promote the production of pure copper. The more copper is produced, the more electricity for using is needed. In other words, it is quite possible that the total amount of electricity for copper-extracting does not decline as expected with the influence of total productivity in the market.

To sum up, the author oversimplified this issue and lack of comprehensive thinking. It is better to make more and further investigation before coming to an overoptimistic conclusion.(结尾最好3句以上)


比我写的好多了，句式和搭配都比我丰富:D
我的第一攻击点是“没有考虑新技术的推广情况就下结论用电减少”，不知道有没有力度。帮我看看，我是新手。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D103
多谢阿！

[ 本帖最后由 creative 于 2006-8-5 22:14 编辑 ]