TOPIC182 限时第一篇，欢迎互改

mayaUID: 199038

182. Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
提纲：
1．        宠物会干扰人的工作
2．        花钱
3．        带来疾病
Pets, such as birds, cats or other animals which people treat them as their members of family, have an ambiguous relationship among human beings. When it comes to the advantage or disadvantages provided by pets, different people have different opinions. However, in my view, I believe that there are far more disadvantages than benefits from the pets.

To begin with, with the social speed change leading to competitive and pressing daily life, people are facing more and more work to do no matter when they are at home or in the office. In this case, cultivating a pet is not a wise idea for us. Regardless of working outside, people have no time to consider more about their so-called "pets" family member. For example, as for modern people, we should always do work from dawn until night and particularly there's no time for coming come at noon or ideal time from work. Pets would easily distract employers' attention and diminish the work efficiency. If this phenomenon continues for a long time, not only would employers be fired but also the constantly developing pace of society would be decreased.

Secondly, pets, especially some luxurious ones, are too expensive for the normal family. After all, plenty of poor inhabitants who are still living in slums in some places and many immediate problems have been existed in this world. Nurturing a pet would definitely waste money which can contrarily solve the above problems and otherwise no benefits for the whole society. In addition, in certain circumstances, lots of infective diseases are owing to the pets since people always prefer embracing or walking with them in their spare time. Every year, government and certain offices will spend much money on this issue.

Last but not the least, paying more attention on pets would ultimately alienate one with others. Pets can just serve to some minor functions such as guarding the gate, playing with children. After all, humans are higher animals who should communicate with others to present their ideas or emotions about their daily life, while pets cannot play this role. According to some reliable surveys, if one could not communicate with others for a certain time, then some psychological or physical problems would emerge in this one's health. In short, people should not spend too much time on their pets.

In conclusion, although cultivating pets can help people enhance their kindness-especially for the children, more problems would affect people's normal life. Problems such as diseases, lonely individual characteristic, wasting too much time and money would all decrease life level of people and even harm the whole society.

coquelicolUID: 2117318

我还是传统的想法，觉得每段第一句用该段主题句点出该段主题比较好。
呵呵，我就大概改了一下，有些觉得特别别扭的标了一下，大家互相探讨

改的在附件了

mayaUID: 199038

谢谢coquelicol！我把我的想法在后面标注了一下，你看看
182. Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
提纲：
1．        宠物会干扰人的工作
2．        花钱
3．        带来疾病
Pets, such as birds, cats or other animals which（that，which后面不能是完整句啊，要么就去掉后面的them）恩，这个确实得注意，老是忘 people treat them as their members of family, have an ambiguous relationship among human beings. When it comes to the advantage or disadvantages provided by pets, different people have different opinions. However, in my view, I believe that there are far more disadvantages than benefits from the pets.

To begin with, with the social speed change leading to competitive （？）我是想说随着社会快速发展，人们的生活节奏越来越快，是不是没有表达清楚？ and pressing daily life, people are facing more and more work to do no matter when they are at home or in the office. In this case, cultivating a pet is not a wise idea for us. Regardless of working outside, people have no time to consider more about their so-called "pets" family member. For example, as for modern people, we should always do work from dawn until night and particularly there's no time for coming come at noon or ideal time from work前面的home打错了:(，我是想说没有过多的时间去照看pets（这句话什么意思？）. Pets would easily distract employers' attention and diminish the work efficiency. If this phenomenon continues for a long time, not only would employers be fired but also the constantly developing pace of society would be decreased.

Secondly（每段链接词最好统一）统一是什么意思啊？你是说Firstly，Secondly...？G的作文好像已经用习惯了:(, pets, especially some luxurious ones, are too expensive for the normal family. After all, plenty of poor inhabitants who are still living in slums in some places and many immediate problems have been existed in this world. Nurturing a pet would definitely waste money which can contrarily solve the above problems and otherwise no benefits for the whole society. In addition, in certain circumstances, lots of infective diseases are owing to the pets since（when？那后面又不对了）since是因为的意思，AW中基本上不怎么用because people always prefer embracing or walking with them in their spare time. Every year, government and certain offices will spend much money on this issue.

Last but not the least, paying more attention on pets would ultimately alienate one with others. Pets can just serve to some minor functions such as guarding the gate, playing with children. After all, humans are higher animals（高等生物不能这么说吧……不如说different with animals ）我查了一下，好像就是higher animals who should communicate with others to present their ideas or emotions about their daily life, while pets cannot play this role. According to some reliable surveys, if one could not communicate with others for a certain time, then some psychological or physical problems would emerge in this one's health. In short, people should not spend too much time on their pets.

In conclusion, although cultivating pets can help people enhance their kindness-especially for the children（最后一段做总结的时候，最好不要提及前面几段没有讲到的内容，要想这么说的话，可以在第一段引出的时候提一下这个方面好，然后再说不好的1、2、3，最后总结的时候把优点也总结进去）我之前根本没有看过TWE，在写的时候也确实感觉这样有问题。我想问一下是不是TWE也可以写成中庸的观点？或者先抑后扬or先扬后抑？, more problems would affect people's normal life. Problems such as diseases, lonely individual characteristic, wasting too much time and money would all decrease life level of people and even harm the whole society.
恩，总之谢谢coquelicol！TWE还是和AW有很大区别啊，总是感觉一段还没说清楚时间就紧张了，我下来好好看看相关的范文估计就会好点了。下次我们还是一起互改哈:)

Angela0316UID: 2212269

进来参观下
好快噢~~
继续加油

coquelicolUID: 2117318

呵呵，TWE只要注重某一边就可以了吧，观点要明确，但是也可以说两个方面啊

To begin with, with the social speed change leading to competitive （？）我是想说随着社会快速发展，人们的生活节奏越来越快，是不是没有表达清楚？

这个我好像还是看不太懂－－

链接词说统一的话，就是如果用first,second就都用，如果不用就都不用吧，呵呵

你也帮我看看好了，http://edu.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=507806&extra=page%3D1

eyemeiUID: 205999

说实话，感觉维生素c熊，改的真挺好的
感觉maya的有的表达有点chinglish的意思，呵呵，翻出来不错，但是不是符合英语习惯不太清楚。
还有那个高等动物的那个，我也觉得同意c熊，感觉maya的意思是要区别人与动物
而高等动物个人感觉还包括人以外的一些其他动物吧

另外，感觉c熊的思路挺上路子的，呵呵，我对twe的理解不够，但感觉c熊的理解不错
twe重形式重表达

yiyiwilsonUID: 2220804

Since the world is rapidly changing and modern life has become more and more complicated,....
不知道这个是不是楼主要表达的