issue130 我们的九月小组-----第二十五次作业

maggie-leeUID: 2220892

字数：449 (619)         用时：0:45:00          日期：2006-8-21

As for the above assertion, I particularly agree that the future of the society relies on how children are socialized nowadays, since as known to all that children are the managers, constructers, and owners of the future society. Meanwhile, it is true that the society does not perform well enough to raise children to construct a better society in the coming days.

To begin with, well socialized children tend to obtain the required and necessary skills and abilities to drive the society to development in a prosperous and civilized direction. On the one hand, the children who are rationally and appropriately socialized acquired a good sense of team spirit and interpersonal skills, which help them to cooperate with the colleagues or partners efficiently and effectively. For instance, the decoding of gene pool requires the collaboration of scientists and researchers from all over the world during which the individuals devote their different superiorities to the great project. There is no doubt that the great progress is not able to be made without the fact that those participants are well socialized in the childhood through the effort of their parents, schools, and communities. On the other hand, well-socialized children have more understandings of themselves and the society, and could find out the suitable self-orientations in the social affairs. For example, when children grow up and truly step into the society, they might more easily identify themselves for a fit career or role in the society.

Unfortunately, the reality is that we, including parents, schools, and communities do not attach great importance to the raising of children which aims to equip them to better ameliorate the society.

For one thing, we do not place adequate emphasis on the socialization of children, which considerably results in the failure of construction of better society. Take the children education in China for example, it is a pity to observe that a large amount of parents and teachers simply overemphasize the scores of examinations of the children and forget to train them to be socialized rationally, which finally results in the imbalanced capability and does not qualify them for the future development of society. After all, the ability of winning a high score does not equate with or imply that children are good at dealing with problems through cooperating with their partners or colleagues in the future. In other words, the lack of socialized capabilities might significantly hinder and hamper the dedication of their other abilities. It is obvious that the neglect and underemphasis of fostering children’s socialized abilities is prevalent and extensive currently.

For another, we fail to take into account the other factors in raising children which influences whether the children can bring about a better society when grow up. For instance, the creativity and the ability of innovation, which bring our society with enormous impetus for progress and evolvement. Sometimes, schools pay too much attention to the study of pervious and so-called classical theories which is understandable; however a critical flaw is that they should not ignore the significance of children’s creativity and fresh ideas. In addition, teachers and parents should encourage the children to spend more on physical exercise, which grant the children a strong body and health in the future and is beneficial for all life long. However, this is not necessarily true condition in reality.   

In summary, the whole society should realize and emphasize on the cultivation of children’s socialized aspect which determines the future and progress of the society. Moreover, the current society fails to recognize the significance of socialization and also does not perform well to raise children in other respects. And this condition should be ameliorated soon, so that the society could evolve in a better direction.

simplearenUID: 2151889

As for the above assertion, I particularly agree that the future of the society relies on how children are socialized nowadays, since as known to all that （结构不懂）children are the managers, constructers, and owners of the future society. Meanwhile, it is true that the society does not perform well enough to raise children to construct a better society in the coming days.
[你把你的判断放在两句话里说，如果我要找下TS，是哪一个？这是我最近老是在弄的，把观点压在一个句子里，你参考下]

看完整篇回来看，你的思路是：
1社会化很重要
2社会化没有被重视（例子）
3社会化之外还有一些因素要重视（例子）
第一句开头对应观点1
第二句对应2与3
果然就找不到TS了，不知道是不是这样？

1，2，3的例子是怎么划分的，从最后一段的总结看你在讲3时应该是社会化之外的，通过什么东西来划分社会化与非社会化的因素呢？
关键还是要明确一下社会是什么。

To begin with, well socialized children（有这种说法吗？社会化的学生） tend to obtain the required and necessary skills and abilities to drive the society to development in a prosperous and civilized direction. On the one hand, the children who are rationally and appropriately socialized acquired a good sense of team spirit and interpersonal skills, which help them to cooperate with the colleagues or partners efficiently and effectively. For instance, the decoding of gene pool requires the collaboration of scientists and researchers from all over the world during which the individuals devote their different superiorities to the great project. There is no doubt that the great progress is not able to be made without the fact that those participants are well socialized in the childhood through the effort of their parents, schools, and communities. On the other hand,（这个词是不是有转折义？还是单纯并列） well-socialized children have more understandings of themselves and the society, and could find out the suitable self-orientations in the social affairs. For example, when children grow up and truly step into the society, they might more easily identify themselves for a fit career or role in the society.
这一段比较杂糅，大体上还是讲社会很重要。引入了两个方面，讲学好这两个东西有益未来。但我一开始误解成了我们社会化过程中这两个方面是好的。不知道你构思时是怎么想的。


Unfortunately, the reality is that we, including parents, schools, and communities do not attach great importance to the raising of children which aims to equip them to better ameliorate the society. [这种写法好吗？看到过转折连着下一个理由在一段，然后后一理由分开]
整体上不知道你这一段是引起了后两段，还是后一段

For one thing, we do not place adequate emphasis on the socialization of children, which considerably results in the failure of construction of better society. Take the children education in China for example, it is a pity to observe that a large amount of parents and teachers simply overemphasize the scores of examinations of the children and forget to train them to be socialized rationally, which finally results in the imbalanced capability and does not qualify them for the future development of society. After all, the ability of winning a high score does not equate with or imply that children are good at dealing with problems through cooperating with their partners or colleagues in the future. In other words, the lack of socialized capabilities might significantly hinder and hamper the dedication of their other abilities. It is obvious that the neglect and underemphasis（？？？） of fostering children’s socialized abilities is prevalent and extensive currently.

For another, we fail to take into account the other factors（这几个因素是社会化范畴内的还是之外的？） in raising children which influences whether the children can bring about a better society when grow up. For instance, the creativity and the ability of innovation, which bring our society with enormous impetus for progress and evolvement. Sometimes, schools pay too much attention to the study of pervious（adj能被通过的） and so-called classical theories which is understandable; however a critical flaw is that they should not ignore（还是用neglect or overlook吧，ignore是有意忽略） the significance of children’s creativity and fresh ideas. In addition, teachers and parents should encourage the children to spend more on physical exercise, which grant the children a strong body and health in the future and is beneficial for all life long. However, this is not necessarily true condition in reality.   



In summary, the whole society should realize and emphasize on the cultivation of children’s socialized aspect which determines the future and progress of the society. Moreover, the current society fails to recognize the significance of socialization and also does not perform well to raise children in other respects（看来第三个理由段讲的是社会化以外的东西，社会化过程中不只没有重视社会化这个问题吧）. And this condition should be ameliorated soon, so that the society could evolve in a better direction.

说这么多，也不知道有没说对，反正这一篇我自己写得是超级郁闷。到后来是一个字一个字在那里憋。。。