issue17【shining sep】第七次作业

xuxinyunUID: 2198143

SSUE17"There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."[87/9]

Outline:

1． The definition of laws, the function of laws, so it is reasonable to obey the laws. On the other hand, some one may insist that we should disobey the unjust laws. On balance, I think we cannot simply say which laws are just or not so we cannot simply say we should obey just laws and disobey and resist unjust laws.

2. in our daily life, it is difficult to find absolutely fair. To laws, although it is made by nation, it is done by people. So it may usually happen unfair situation,
It is hard to say which laws is just or not because of different values.

3. it dose not mean that we can disobey the rules which is considered fair the whole nation. (can keep the daily order of the society  such as transportation rule , what is more, is to save ours’ laws.0 what is more, we should resist some laws which are disobey the whole society. Such as Hitler

4. to conclude

字数：510   时间：这个，断断续续有空就写点。。。。  日期8-22
   According to the definition of the law, laws are made by the nations, which represent the majority citizens’ rights and implemented by compulsory. Consequently on one hand, it is reasonable to say that we should obey the laws, which is our obligation. On the other hand, some may insist that we should disobey the unjust law because of the unreasonable factor of some laws. On balance, I think we cannot simply say which laws are just or not, so we cannot simply say that we should obey just laws and disobey even resist unjust laws.

    In our daily life, it is difficult to find absolutely fair. When it comes to the laws, although laws are made by the government, it is implemented by individuals. As a result, it may sometimes happen unfair situation. For example, a man made the other one injured. He could have sentenced to 10-year prison while he had a relative who may have lots of money so that he may be only sentenced to 5-year prison. In such situation, it is plain to see that we cannot say that the law is unjust but the people who did them are not just. What is more, it is hard to say that which laws are just or not because of different values.      
   
   Nevertheless, it dose not mean that we can disobey the laws which are considered fair among the whole nation. It is necessary for everyone to obey the laws. Firstly, obeying laws is helpful to keep the daily order of the whole society. An easy example is that the law about transportation. Only obeying these laws, can we have a better transportation condition. It is terrible to imagine that many people disobey the laws some day, how confusing the transportation it will be? It may be so massive traffic accident and traffic jams that our traffic may be not able to run normally. What is more, to obey the just laws is also to maintain our own legal rights. We can think about it, if everyone dose not obey the laws even the just ones, it seems that we may get benefit ion on the surface, however, our legal rights will not be protected finally. In addition, we indeed should resist the laws that disobey the whole society’s rights. for example, Hitler set a law against the Jews which had huge number of unreasonable rules to Jews. This law made lots of people feels unjust so that they fought against it.
  
To conclude, in order to make our society more harmony, it is not doubtful that we have right and obligation to disobey and resist the unjust laws since unjust laws may lead to controversial problems. Meanwhile, we should also obey the just laws. But one thing should be paid attention, we must clear that the standard of the laws just or not is basing on whether the laws accords the majority or the whole society’s rights. Combining these two factors together, our laws can become more comprehensive and our society can become better and better.

[ 本帖最后由 xuxinyun 于 2006-8-22 22:20 编辑 ]

Ajax555UID: 2241288

According to the definition of the law, laws are made by the nations, which represent the majority citizens’ rights and implemented by compulsory. Consequently on one hand, it is reasonable to say that we should obey the laws, which is our obligation. On the other hand, some may insist that we should disobey the unjust law because of the unreasonable factor of some laws. On balance, I think we cannot simply say which laws are just or not, so we cannot simply say that we should obey just laws and disobey even resist unjust laws. //论点,给全文定了基调,因为不能简单判断法律公正与否,所以不能简单地要求人们遵守公正法律,不遵守不公正的法律.这个说法合理么?必须遵守法律(包括unjust laws)还有其他原因呢. 我感觉这里的两个因素应该单独来说,不能用so进行因果联系.

    In our daily life, it is difficult to find absolutely fair. When it comes to the laws, although laws are made by the government, it is implemented by individuals. As a result, it may sometimes happen unfair situation. For example, a man made the other one injured. He could have sentenced to 10-year prison while he had a relative who may have lots of money so that he may be only sentenced to 5-year prison. In such situation, it is plain to see that we cannot say that the law is unjust but the people who did them are not just. //这个例证的问题很大,你说的是司法公正的问题,不是法律本身的问题.要从法律本身说.  What is more, it is hard to say that which laws are just or not because of different values. //这个论点没展开?怎么就说了一句就没了?要就不说,既然指出来了,最好也提几句.
      
   Nevertheless, it //指代什么?上文的最后一句还是整个上段? dose not mean that we can disobey the laws which are considered fair among the whole nation. It is necessary for everyone to obey the laws. Firstly, obeying laws is helpful to keep the daily order of the whole society. An easy example is that the law about transportation. Only obeying these laws, can we have a better transportation condition. It is terrible to imagine that many people disobey the laws some day, how confusing the transportation it will be? It may be so massive traffic accidents and traffic jams that our traffic may be not able to run normally. //应该遵守just laws 论证的比较合理What is more, to obey the just laws is also to maintain our own legal rights. We can think about it, 删去,正文中少用I,we,our这些词,用了显得不客观 if everyone dose not obey the laws even the just ones, it seems that we may get benefitwhat benefit? ion on the surface, however, our legal rights what rights? will not be protected finally. //进一步论证应该遵守just laws,感觉论证不够In addition, we indeed should resist the laws that disobey the whole society’s rights. for example, Hitler set a law against the Jews which had huge number of unreasonable rules to Jews. This law made lots of people feels unjust so that they fought against it. //这里的分论点是:we indeed should resist the laws that disobey the whole society’s rights. 论证抵制unjust laws(多用people吧,少用we,I),但是你的例子是,因为希特勒迫害犹太人,犹太人就抵抗希特勒的不公正法律,所以我们也要抵制不公正的法律. 论证的太...肤浅了,根本没有说到不公正的法律会带来哪些危害,所以我们应该抵制.换句话说,就是没说清楚为什么应该抵制.(犹太人抵制,我们就抵制...不是理由)  

To conclude, in order to make our society more harmony, it is not doubtful that we have right and obligation to disobey and resist the unjust laws since unjust laws may lead to controversial problems. Meanwhile, we should also obey the just laws. But one thing should be paid attention, we must clear that the standard of the laws just or not is basing 现在时,有必要么on whether the laws accords the majority or the whole society’s rights. Combining these two factors together, our laws can become more comprehensive and our society can become better and better.

总结
1 论文的题目分为两个部分 "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."而你基本上只论证了后面的一点,你没有给出法律被分为just 和 unjust的不合理性,你的第二段没有证明这点.

2 证明obey or disobey时,论证的不够深刻,第一个分论点obey just laws论据充分,再进一步论证的时候,比较空泛,这里我觉得应该先泛泛而谈,然后举出交通的例子.第二个论点 disobey unjust laws,论据是可以的,但是没有展开,要讲清楚犹太人如何受到unjust laws的迫害.然后他们来反抗

3 全文结构不够清晰,建议练习的时候先花时间写提纲

拍的比较重, 拍的不好的地方, 望见谅

p.s: 加油

xuxinyunUID: 2198143

收到，比我想象中的轻多了，是分散了时间断断续续弄的，所以也没注意连贯啊，那些论证的东西，有的地方，我自己也知道没展开．你给的意见都很对啊～～其实也是我在写的时候有些怀疑的地方～～～～～～～～～辛苦你了～～～～～～～｀会好好修改的，