Issue38 0607GMyth小组第7次作业补交 求拍 附native speaker的语言修改

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 678          TIME: 0:31:32          DATE: 2006-11-12

  In my experience, it is true the importance of books is largely reduced by television, as well as other media methods. However, even we can watch many programs which contain what can be read in books, reading books is still a attracting way to obtain knowledge and entertainment, since it can provide a space to image, and the power of language is unpredictable.

  Modern technology has brought us a lot of ways to see the world, this is especially true when we consider about televisions. By giving realistic images and sound, we can see many places where we can never go to, as well as watch scientific programs about diversified knowledge. The Discovery Channel, for instance, has presented many adventure programs, produced by experts and tourists who are able to go to fat places where we may never have change to reach, such as Antarctica, deserts and so forth. During the past we may need books with photos and illustration to know such places, but now we can experience the journey through televisions, like we are there ourselves. Moreover, some experiences that will never exist in real world can also be expressed by televisions, with the modern digital unreal world technology, including computer graphics and special movie photographing. Another scientific program produced by BBC, Walk With The Dinosaurs, has brought us into a period millions of years ago, showing us the extincted animals by computer technology. There has never been a book can give us such experience, but televisions have done.

  Besides television, other media methods can also take roles, including internet, cyber books and movies, making our ways to learn much more direct and convenience. Consider how you can download a book on the internet, with both pictures and articles in it, saving much time and money, and how you can browse a website, where the information is much quicker than books can pass. In that sense, books are truly less important due to the modern technology.

  Nevertheless, books are still indispensable, according to its separated charm. By reading a book, we can only obtain words and articles, leaving images to be built in our minds, which is totally diversified from televisions. The books can provide us a creative way to obtain knowledge and experience. Although modern movie technology has made the scientific fiction realistic, those books describe unreal future world are still very popular, since the audience may find the movies show them a not satisfying image, while they can have better senses in their minds.

  Moreover, another consideration making books still active and useful is the limit of resource. Producing a television program asks for many people, from actors to directors, as well as a huge cost. By contrast, writing a book just asks for intellect, and some pieces of paper. This is especially true when it comes to certain kinds of television programs, which contains large amount of computer graphics and hard to make. That is why many movies are based on existing novels, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of Ring and so forth.

  It might be tempting to think internet and computer can be alternative methods instead of books, however, in my view such concerns are still unwarranted. As we know, computer screens may do harm to our eyes, especially when we stare at small words displayed on them. And if we are on the ways of tourism, or lying on beds, it is hard to take a computer, even laptop. Many people may take real books as more reliable, when they are holding them in their hands.

  To sum up, both televisions and books are necessary for our life, as well as other media. They work in different ways, and serve our interests separately, nevertheless as a whole system. We may develop new technology to make books obtained in smaller and healthy computers, or we may even make televisions set into a new kind of implement. But consider the current situation, books are still playing their role in our daily life, and surely will be consistent for a long time.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-26 02:17 编辑 ]

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

还是贴下NATIVE SPEAKER的修改结果恩


  In my experience, it is true the importance of books is largely reduced by television, as well as other media methods. However, even though/when we can watch many programs which that contain what can be read in books, reading books is still a attracting way to obtain knowledge and entertainment, since it can provide a space to image, and the power of language is unpredictable.

  Modern technology has brought us a lot of ways to see of seeing the world, this is especially true when we consider about look at televisions. By giving realistic images and sound, we can see many places where we can never go to have never been to, as well as watch scientific programs about on diversified knowledge. The Discovery Channel, for instance, has presented many adventure programs, produced by experts and tourists who are able to go to fat places where we may never have change chance to reach, such as Antarctica, deserts outback and so forth. During the past we may need books with photos and illustrations to know such places, but now we can experience the journey through televisions, like we are there ourselves. Moreover, some experiences that will never exist in real world can also be expressed by televisions, with the modern digital unreal virtual/simulated world technology, including computer graphics and special movie photographing photography. Another scientific program produced by BBC, Walk Walking/A Walk With The Dinosaurs, has brought us into a period millions of years ago, showing us extincted extinct animals by through computer technology. There has never been a book that can give us such experiences, but like televisions have done.

  Besides television, other media methods can also take roles, including internet, cyber books and movies, making our ways to learn of learning much more direct and convenience convenient. Consider how you can download a book on the Internet, with both pictures and articles in it, saving much time and money, and how you can browse a website, where the information is much quicker accessible than books can pass. In that sense, books are truly less important due to the modern technology.

  Nevertheless, books are still indispensable, according to its separated unique charm. By reading a book, we can only obtain words and articles, leaving images to be built in our minds, which is totally diversified from televisions. The books can provide us a creative interactive? Way to obtain knowledge and experience. Although modern movie technology has made the scientific fiction realistic, those books describe unreal future world are still very popular, since the audience may find the movies show them a not satisfying dissatisfying image, while they can have better senses imaginations in their minds.

  Moreover, another consideration making books still active and useful is the limit limitation of resources. Producing a television program asks for takes many people, from actors to directors, as well as a huge cost. By contrast, writing a book just asks for intellect, and some pieces of paper. This is especially true when it comes to certain kinds of television programs, which contains contain large amount of computer graphics and are hard to make produce. That is why many movies are based on existing novels, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of Ring and so forth.

  It might be tempting to think internet and computer can be alternative methods instead of books, however, in my view such concerns are still unwarranted. As we know, computer screens may do harm to our eyes, especially when we stare at small words displayed on them. And if we are on the ways of tourism travel, or lying on beds, it is hard to take a computer, even laptop. Many people may take real books, as they are more reliable, when they are holding them in their hands.

  To sum up, both televisions and books are necessary for our life, as well as other media. They work in different ways, and serve our interests separately in different ways, nevertheless as a whole system. We may develop new technology to make books obtained obtainable in smaller and healthy computers, or we may even make televisions set into a new kind of implement implementation. But consider considering the current situation, books are still playing their role in our daily life, and surely will be consistent insubstitutable? for a long time.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-7-22 18:53 编辑 ]

kito9695UID: 209685

晤，看字数很震撼阿~

However, even we can watch many programs which contain what can be read in books, reading books is still a attracting way to obtain knowledge and entertainment
表套太多的从句进去容易出错

MM加油哈~

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

感谢指点...感觉以前是老想着用复杂句, 习惯以后感觉从句特别好用就不由自主的带入了..

BTW果然不该用KULA的头像么...被当成MM了 Orz 其实也不错....囧

kito9695UID: 209685

原帖由 lastangel 于 2006-11-14 12:01 发表
感谢指点...感觉以前是老想着用复杂句, 习惯以后感觉从句特别好用就不由自主的带入了..

BTW果然不该用KULA的头像么...被当成MM了 Orz 其实也不错....囧

你用的是MM的头像厄...
难道是？

又一个+出现了。。。

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

原帖由 kito9695 于 2006-11-14 12:02 发表

你用的是MM的头像厄...
难道是？

又一个+出现了。。。

在某些邪恶网站混久了就喜好MM头像了...纯粹因为看着比较爽而已..
说起来是得到100贴的时候能自定义头像么...?

kito9695UID: 209685

原帖由 lastangel 于 2006-11-14 12:05 发表

在某些邪恶网站混久了就喜好MM头像了...纯粹因为看着比较爽而已..
说起来是得到100贴的时候能自定义头像么...?

说起来好像是积分到800的时候才可以厄...

竟然用MM头像混淆视听，打！

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

原帖由 kito9695 于 2006-11-14 12:16 发表

说起来好像是积分到800的时候才可以厄...

竟然用MM头像混淆视听，打！

冤枉啊, 在THU校内的某论坛因为男生比例甚高伪娘已经成为风尚了...orz

800分是160贴吧..

kito9695UID: 209685

话说你又不是光发主题帖不回帖~

一个主题帖5分
一个回帖3分

如果给大家改作文阿发资料啥滴，偶还可以考虑给你加个分:o

当然，
再装MM

就

















































扣分

哈哈:cool:

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

:eek: 早知道就不说我不是MM了 -3-

lzen5UID: 2216060

似乎很多长沙人

那个所谓的native speaker 手下留情，很多错误都没改

graduate06UID: 2223299

as well as 用了4次，不知道是不是作者比较喜欢。
另外，好像大家在写这个题目的时候都会用The Discovery Channel，我写也用了，这个大家都比较熟，不知楼主考虑过没？

annyfishUID: 2255888

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 678          TIME: 0:31:32          DATE: 2006-11-12

  In my experience, it is true the importance of books is largely reduced by television, as well as other media methods. However, even we can watch many programs which contain what can be read in books, （好象书本本来就不能watch programs） reading books is still a attracting way to obtain knowledge and entertainment, since it can provide a space to image, and the power of language is unpredictable.

  Modern technology has brought us a lot of ways to see the world, this which is especially true when we consider about televisions. By giving realistic images and sound, we can see many places where we can never go to, as well as watch scientific programs about diversified knowledge. The Discovery Channel, for instance, has presented many adventure programs, produced by experts and tourists who are able to go to fat places where we may never have change to reach, such as Antarctica, deserts and so forth. During the past we may need books with photos and illustration to know such places, but now we can experience the journey through televisions, like we are there ourselves. Moreover, some experiences that will never exist in real world can also be expressed bythrough televisions, with the modern digital unreal world technology, including computer graphics and special movie photographing. Another scientific program produced by BBC, Walk With The Dinosaurs, has brought us into a period millions of years ago, showing us the extincted animals by computer technology. There has never been a book can give us such experience, but televisions have done.

  Besides television, other media methods can also take roles, including internet, cyber books and movies, making our ways to learn much more direct and convenience. Consider how you can download a book on the internet, with both pictures and articles in it, saving much time and money, and how you can browse a website, where the information is much quicker than books can pass. In that sense, books are truly less important due to the modern technology. internet 等的题目中好象没有提到
  Nevertheless, books are still indispensable, according to its separated charm. By reading a book, we can onlyonly? obtain words and articles, leaving images to be built in our minds, which is totally diversified from televisions. The books can provide us a creative way to obtain knowledge and experience. Although modern movie technology has made the scientific fiction realistic, those books describe unreal future world are still very popular, since the audience may find the movies show them a not satisfying image, while they can have better senses in their minds.

  Moreover, another consideration making books still active and useful is the limit of resource. Producing a television program asks for many people, from actors to directors, as well as a huge cost. By contrast, writing a book just asks for intellect, and some pieces of paper.那印刷呢 This is especially true when it comes to certain kinds of television programs, which contains large amount of computer graphics and hard to make. That is why many movies are based on existing novels, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of Ring and so forth.这段的分析好象有问题，并没有突出书本的好  It might be tempting to think internet and computer can be alternative methods instead of books, however, in my view such concerns are still unwarranted. As we know, computer screens may do harm to our eyes, especially when we stare at small words displayed on them. And if we are on the ways of tourism, or lying on beds, it is hard to take a computer, even laptop. Many people may take real books as more reliable, when they are holding them in their hands. 这个呵呵，我是学习眼科的，看书时间过长也会损害视力哦
  To sum up, both televisions and books are necessary for our life, as well as other media. They work in different ways, and serve our interests separately, nevertheless as a whole system. We may develop new technology to make books obtained in smaller and healthy computers, or we may even make televisions set into a new kind of implement. But consider the current situation, books are still playing their role in our daily life, and surely will be consistent for a long time.

首先谢谢楼主帮我改的作文，都是很宝贵的意见。另外，楼主好厉害，30 分钟 678个字的方法，赞！+请教！总结一下，语法问题上面几楼已经提出来了，我就不再赘述了，语言不要太绝对，更加中庸平衡一点。主要说结构。文章总体结构清楚，论证书本好处中穿插电视，比较有力，但是有几个原则性的问题discussed above, 如果在文章构思方面再下点心思一定会更好。

另，今天写了一个啊狗，楼主如果有时间能否帮我看看。谢谢：）
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=554054&extra=page%3D1%26amp%3Bfilter%3Dtype%26amp%3Btypeid%3D102

norman518UID: 188582

In my experience, it is true the importance of books is largely reduced by television, as well as other media methods. However, even we can watch many programs which contain what can be read in books, reading books is still a attracting way to obtain knowledge and entertainment, since it can provide a space to image, and the power of language is unpredictable. [With my own experience, it is true that the importance of book is largely impaired by television as well as by other media, and more what can be watched in many TV’s programs could contain what can be read in books. However, reading books is still a attracting way for us to obtain knowledge and entertainment, since it could provide not only the space of imaging but also the unpredictable power of language instilling.]

Modern technology has brought us a lot of ways to see the world, this is especially true when we consider about televisions. By giving realistic images and sound, we can see many places where we can never go to, as well as watch scientific programs about diversified knowledge. The Discovery Channel, for instance, has presented many adventure programs, produced by experts and tourists who are able to go to fat [meaning] places where we may never have change to reach, such as Antarctica, deserts and so forth. During the past we may need books with photos and illustration to know such places, but now we can experience the journey through televisions, like we are there ourselves. Moreover, some experiences that will never exist in real world can also be expressed by televisions [What more about some experiences would never exist in real life also could be expressed by High-tech method displaying on the screen], with the modern digital unreal world technology[VR技术吧：virtual reality], including computer graphics and special movie photographing. Another scientific program produced by BBC, Walk With The Dinosaurs, has brought us into a period millions of years ago, showing us the extincted [extinct: adj] animals by computer technology. There has never been a book can give us such experience, but televisions have done.

Besides television, other media methods can also take roles, including internet, cyber books and movies, making our ways to learn much more direct and convenience. Consider how you can download a book on the internet, with both pictures and articles in it, saving much time and money, and how you can browse a website, where the information is much quicker than books can pass. In that sense, books are truly less important due to the modern technology.

Nevertheless, books are still indispensable, according to its separated [distinguished] charm. By reading a book, we can only obtain words and articles, leaving images to be built in our minds, which is totally diversified from televisions. The books can provide us a creative way to obtain knowledge and experience. Although modern movie technology has made the scientific fiction realistic, those books describe unreal future world are still very popular, since the audience may find the movies show them a not satisfying image [是这个意思：to show them an unsatisfiable imagination？], while they can have better senses in their minds [matching to the contents of books].

Moreover, another consideration making books still active and useful is the limit of resource.[TP is not clear in meaning] Producing a television program asks for many people, from actors to directors, as well as a huge cost. By contrast, writing a book just asks for intellect, and some pieces of paper. This is especially true when it comes to certain kinds of television programs, which contains large amount of computer graphics and hard to make. That is why many movies are based on existing novels, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of Ring and so forth.

It might be tempting to think internet and computer can be alternative methods instead of books, however, in my view such concerns are still unwarranted. As we know, computer screens may do harm to our eyes, especially when we stare at small words displayed on them. And if we are on the ways of tourism, or lying on beds, it is hard to take a computer, even laptop. Many people may take real books as more reliable, when they are holding them in their hands. [ computer screens may do harm to our eyes, it is also harmful for us to read book on the ways of tourism, or lying on beds,---优缺点比较不明显，感觉从电视->pc，好象扯远了]

To sum up, both televisions and books are necessary for our life, as well as other media. They work in different ways, and serve our interests separately, nevertheless as a whole system. We may develop new technology to make books obtained in smaller and healthy computers, or we may even make televisions set into a new kind of implement. But consider the current situation, books are still playing their role in our daily life, and surely will be consistent for a long time.



整体内容挺充实的，建议（不当处请间谅）：
1）整体结构：一直在对比TV v.s. books 的利弊，这样不容易有说服力，只有找点深层次的原因（对人类社会的影响、对人类精神世界的影响），有计划帮我改改：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=551181&extra=page%3D1
2）怎样精简、提炼语言（我也存在该问题，昨天写I130：让我很郁闷—耗时3小时，竟然写了800+ 的字，关键是我居然不知道该怎样修改了！！有机会帮我改改：）
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=563475&page=1&extra=page%3D1#pid1769320929
3）你的打字速度一定很快：680/30min + 构思---不简单哟！
你写作前有提纲吗？你的打字平均速度？

yogurt4UID: 198389

什么？你不是MM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
欺骗人民感情，把lz拖出去卡擦。