Issue48 【米国有米】小组第三次作业

bluecathyUID: 2231215

ISSUE48 [米国有米]第二次作业
作者：bluecathy
[题目]： "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."  

[提纲]：
1.如果不靠普通民众的意愿，只靠个人的力量是不可能推动历史发展的.
2.但是那些关键性的人物也对历史有着巨大的贡献。
3.历史是由普罗大众和许多有贡献的个人共同推动发展的，缺一不可。
4.历史学家们对历史的研究集中在对个人的研究上，这是应该的。因为对所有参加历史的人进行研究是不可能的。并且某些个人之所以被历史记载是因为他们在历史事件中起到了关键性的促进的作用，这些人已经代表了人们的意愿。

[正文]：
Were the historical significant events and trends made by groups of people rather than famous individuals? The speaker claims so and that the study of history should emphasize the ordinary masses. I agree with the speaker that in part, the groups of people made the history more. But in my view, the key historical individuals play a more far-reaching role in history, who should be certain to be paid more attention to by study of history.

First of all, it should be acknowledged that without the intense will of groups of people or the ordinary masses, the history would not be impulsed only by single individuals. For instance, the American War of Independence, as we all know that the American people could triumph in the circumstance of lack of military strength, weapons and materials replenishment, mostly could be attribute to the powerful support and intense will of getting rid of colonization of local people. Also, backward to Stone Age till nowadays, from Pyramid to Great Wall, from Bastile insurgence to D-Day, every civilization achievement or historical progress are all created by the ordinary groups of people.

Notwithstanding the foregoing contribution of groups of people in making effort for our society, what should be equally admitted is that the key historical figures contribute more necessary impetuses to our human history. From ancient times to modern times, from western to oriental, the great individuals are at the peak of history lively all along. Ideologists, inventors, scientists and artists, they construct at every realm of our society, penetrate the tipping point of the turn of history, draft the direction of progress of human being. Looking back our history, the key historical figures accelerate our society progress with their extraordinary creativity. Thousands of years, people turn a blind eye to the falling apple, but Isaac Newton started to consider its theory. Hundreds of years, people travel around the world and see lots of animal species; only Charles Robert Darwin found the secret on the origin of species by means of natural selection. What the key historical figures contribute to our history isnot only substance wealth and exploration of nature, but also eternal spiritual wealth. In the art realms of music, painting, literature and philosophy, the key historical figures lighten our civilization history, such as Beethoven, Michelangelo, Shakespeare and Jean-Paul Satre.

So I concede that both the key individuals and groups of people are all contribute to our progressing history, the only difference is their distinct role. The important long-term sociological trends are often impulsed by key individuals but rather by the masses, meanwhile the role of constructive and popularizing power is often played by the masses rather by the key individuals. For example, 2500 years ago, the Athenian lawgiver Solon, whose reforms abolished the hereditary right of noble and gave every citizen the vote right, he contributed a democracy which never existed before and a highly developed civilization to Athens. But seeing from the other side of the coin, we will find that if without the support of the Athenian citizens, Solon couldn't promote his reforms.

The speaker claims that the study of history emphasizes individuals much more. I think it ought to be so. On one hand, studying all the people in history of our human beings is impossible, for it is such a huge workload that the historian couldn't do, which also restricted by the extant history data. On the other hand, the key individuals who were recorded and embalmed in history plays a promoting role in historical events, their proposition and behavior represent the will of the masses, and their character and temperament may change the process of history to some extent.

To sum up, our history were made by groups of nameless people and changed by some key individuals. However, the study of significant events and trends in history is unnecessary and impossible to place more emphasis on the masses. For the groups of people who have long been forgotten, we may not know their identities, but we will always remember what they have contributed.

ernest81888UID: 2247639

:loveliness: 这次不是我批你的了,但是感觉你接受了我的意见,把提纲写好了,然后文章的结构也不错.加油

ernest81888UID: 2247639

:loveliness: 这次不是我批你的了,但是感觉你接受了我的意见,把提纲写好了,然后文章的结构也不错.加油

laner023UID: 2223653

Were the historical significant events and trends made by groups of people rather than famous individuals? The speaker claims so and that the study of history should emphasize the ordinary masses. (感觉读得有些别扭，但我也不知道怎么说比较合适) I agree with the speaker that in part, the groups of people made the history more. But in my view, the key historical individuals play a more far-reaching role in history, who should be certain(certainly) to be paid more attention to by study of history.　

First of all, it should be acknowledged that without the intense will of groups of people or the ordinary masses (groups of people 和 the ordinary masses说的是一个群体吧？那就全篇统一用groups of people 或者 the ordinary masses，每次两个一起出现，搞得人有些晕哦。), the history would not be impulsed only by single individuals. For instance, the American War of Independence, as we all know that the American people could triumph in the circumstance of lack of military strength, weapons and materials replenishment, mostly could be attribute to the powerful support and intense will of getting rid of colonization of local people. Also, backward to Stone Age till nowadays, from Pyramid to Great Wall, from Bastile insurgence to D-Day, every civilization achievement or historical progress are all created by the ordinary groups of people.

Notwithstanding the foregoing contribution of groups of people in making effort for our society, what should be equally admitted is that the key historical figures contribute more necessary impetuses to our human history. From ancient times to modern times, from western to oriental, the great individuals are at the peak of history lively all along. Ideologists, inventors, scientists and artists, they construct at every realm of our society, penetrate the tipping point of the turn of history, draft the direction of progress of human being. Looking back our history, the key historical figures accelerate our society progress with their extraordinary creativity. Thousands of years (改成For thousands of years）, people turn a blind eye to the falling apple, but Isaac Newton started to consider its theory. Hundreds of years (改成For Hundreds of years）, people travel around the world and see lots of animal species; only Charles Robert Darwin found the secret on the origin of species by means of natural selection. What the key historical figures contribute to our history is not only substance wealth and exploration of nature, but also eternal spiritual wealth. In the art realms of music, painting, literature and philosophy, the key historical figures lighten our civilization history, such as Beethoven, Michelangelo, Shakespeare and Jean-Paul Satre. (精神财富这个，能不能像上面一样，把艺术家与普通民众做个对比，突出艺术家的“contribute more necessary impetuses”；而不是把一大堆艺术家的名字列上来。另外，再来一个段落小结吧）

So I concede that both the key individuals and groups of people are all contribute to our progressing history, the only difference is their distinct role. The important long-term sociological trends are often impulsed by key individuals but rather by the masses, ,改成; meanwhile the role of constructive and popularizing power is often played by the masses rather by the key individuals. For example, 2500 years ago, the Athenian lawgiver Solon, whose reforms abolished the hereditary right of noble and gave every citizen the vote right, he contributed a democracy which never existed before and a highly developed civilization to Athens. But seeing from the other side of the coin, we will find that if without the support of the Athenian citizens, Solon couldn't promote his reforms.

The speaker claims that the study of history emphasizes individuals much more. I think it ought to be so. On one hand, studying all the people in history of our human beings is impossible, for it is such a huge workload that the historian couldn't do, which also restricted by the extant history data. 我句话我是读懂了，但是我还是把它改一下。it is impossible to study all the people in our history for the following reasons: first, it is a huge workload that the historian couldn't do. Moreover, the study is also restricted by the extant history data.On the other hand, the key individuals who were recorded and embalmed in history plays a promoting role in historical events, their proposition and behavior represent the will of the masses, and their character and temperament may change the process of history to some extent.

To sum up, our history were made by groups of nameless people and changed by some key individuals. However, (觉得however前后应该是强烈转折才好，可是你这里没有形成转折啊。你看，前面是群众和key individuals对历史都有贡献，后面写研究历史不能更强调研究群众，这是顺承吧。）the study of significant events and trends in history is unnecessary and impossible to place more emphasis on the masses. For the groups of people who have long been forgotten, we may not know their identities, but we will always remember what they have contributed.

总的来说，文章逻辑很清晰，论证得有条理，论据也很充足，一些语句和措辞很不错，值得我好好学习。

[ 本帖最后由 laner023 于 2006-12-2 19:03 编辑 ]

bluecathyUID: 2231215

谢谢小马过河，还来关注我的帖子。
也谢谢laner023，谢谢你的批改。但是我想be certain to be paid，我应该是没错，因为 be certain to是固定词组，的确，一定会的意思，而且certainly是副词，这么用好象也不是很通。
另外我是在2月5日在北京考，和你很近，大家共同努力吧。

laner023UID: 2223653

原帖由 bluecathy 于 2006-12-2 22:55 发表
谢谢小马过河，还来关注我的帖子。
也谢谢laner023，谢谢你的批改。但是我想be certain to be paid，我应该是没错，因为 be certain to是固定词组，的确，一定会的意思，而且certainly是副词，这么用好象也不是 ...

呵呵，不好意思啊，我的语言实在还是有很大问题，还要多向你们学习呢。