Argument65 weixch的，拍吧

weixchUID: 2104033

argument 65 The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

新开的几家商店的情况不能说明所有商店，也许他们开在W，或是那儿的人们与W的联系特别紧密；新开业卖得好不代表以后也会好，可能这几个牌子最近在做促销活动，这样势头不会保持

卖得最好不能说明利润最高，除非有可能是它们价格特别低

什么人订这份杂志，如果它的主要客户不是顾客而是研究之士制造或是销售的人；调查是否公正，我们不排除偏爱进口奶酪的订者没有寄回问卷，或者就没有订这份杂志

The memo shown above recommends stopping stocking imported cheese and concentrating on domestic cheeses instead for profit. To better support the viewpoint, the president tells us the fact that the best-selling products at newest store were all domestic cheeses from Wisconsin, and mentions a survey by Cheeses of the World to indicate a growing preference for domestic cheeses. However, close scrutiny of the memo might show us some flaws undermining author’s deduction to this conclusion.

To begin with, the anticipated profit is based on an assumption that the domestic cheeses are cheap and easy for the cheese stores to make a profit. If the domestic cheeses are so expensive that even a great sales volume does not help to improve the performance of the cheese store, if the first cost is undermining the profit, or even worse, if the first cost of the domestic cheeses has surpassed the highest endurable price to consumer, how can we promise to get a good deal from the domestic cheese? As the first cost of domestic cheeses is not concerned in the memo, we cannot draw an arbitrary conclusion from this uncertain supposition.

As for the evidence mentioned in this memo, the first one make me feel dubious is the sales report from the newest store. As indicated in the sales report, the best-selling products at the newest store were domestic cheeses form Wisconsin. Here comes to some flaws in reasoning. Firstly, the figures come from the newest store, without coherent data from other stores and more information from past records, how can we assure the universality of the case in other stores and promise the trend will keep going in the future? If the newest store locates at Wisconsin, if citizens there are more familiar with the brand of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin than other imported brands temporarily, or if the company of the brand happens to do sales promotion in these days, the case there would lost its universality in other place and we cannot make sure that the trend would last for a long period.

In the memo, the second evidence seems to support the president’s viewpoint is the survey carried out by a magazine. Unluckily, the detail of the subscribers of the magazine is not mentioned in the material. Without this information, we cannot rule out that the subscribers may be mostly producer or salesman of cheese instead of consumer of it. In this aspect, the survey to the subscribers will not strengthen the viewpoint of the president. Moreover, without more information of the respondents, we cannot rule out another possibility that the subscribers prefer imported cheeses did not send back their answers or the persons who preferred imported cheeses did not subscribe the magazine.

In sum, the argument of the president is unconvincing as it stands. To make the viewpoint more authentic, more detail of the price of domestic cheeses should be concerned in the memo with additional past records from all stores opened. To better support the conclusion, an introduction to the subscribers of the magazine and the respondents of the survey is also preferred.

猪圆玉润UID: 2201581

argument 65 The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

新开的几家商店的情况不能说明所有商店，也许他们开在W，或是那儿的人们与W的联系特别紧密；新开业卖得好不代表以后也会好，可能这几个牌子最近在做促销活动，这样势头不会保持

卖得最好不能说明利润最高，除非有可能是它们价格特别低

什么人订这份杂志，如果它的主要客户不是顾客而是研究之士制造或是销售的人；调查是否公正，我们不排除偏爱进口奶酪的订者没有寄回问卷，或者就没有订这份杂志

The memo shown above recommends stopping stocking imported cheese and concentrating on domestic cheeses instead for profit. To better support the viewpoint, the president tells us the fact that the best-selling products at newest store were all domestic cheeses from Wisconsin, and mentions a survey by Cheeses of the World to indicate a growing preference for domestic cheeses. However, close scrutiny of the memo might show us some flaws undermining author’s deduction to this conclusion.

To begin with, the anticipated profit is based on an assumption that the domestic cheeses are cheap and easy for the cheese stores to make a profit. ( The suggestion is based on the assumption that the best selling of domestic cheese in W had brought in a remarkable profit. 后面文都是基于收益谈的，没有谈仓储成本，所以中心句可能需要再推敲一下) If the domestic cheeses are so expensive that even a great sales volume does not help to improve the performance of the cheese store, if the first cost is undermining the profit, or even worse, (and) if the first cost of the domestic cheeses has surpassed the highest endurable price to consumer, how can we promise to get a good deal from the domestic cheese? (Profit is gain minus cost, thus if the cost rather high, a large volume sold cannot compensate for the lost of cost. 楼主想要表达的是这个意思吧，请忽略我粗糙的英语，怎么说呢，楼主的表达有些繁复。而且如果超过消费能力了，就很难成为best seller了，所以既然已经是best seller，用消费能力来驳斥貌似不妥)As the first cost of domestic cheeses is not concerned in the memo, we cannot draw an arbitrary conclusion from this uncertain supposition.



As for the evidence mentioned in this memo, the first one make me feel dubious is the sales report from the newest store. （我觉得这个段首句不太好，不能反映本段的中心，这段话想说的是这个吧Even if the good-selling of cheddar cheeses bring in large sums of money in the local case, it is hardly warranted that such trend will remain in the larger spatial and temporal scale.）As indicated in the sales report, the best-selling products at the newest store were domestic cheeses form Wisconsin. Here comes to some flaws in reasoning. Firstly, the figures come from the newest store, without coherent data from other stores and more information from past records, how can we assure the universality of the case in other stores and promise the trend will keep going in the future? If the newest store locates at Wisconsin, if citizens there are more familiar with the brand of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin than other imported brands temporarily, or if the company of the brand happens to do sales promotion in these days, the case there would lost its universality in other place and we cannot make sure that the trend would last for a long period.

In the memo, the second evidence seems to support the president’s viewpoint is the survey carried out by a magazine. (Another piece of evidence posed by the author is the …)Unluckily (unfortunately), the detail of the subscribers of the magazine is not mentioned in the material. Without this information, we cannot rule out that the subscribers may be mostly producer or salesman of cheese instead of consumer of it. In this aspect, the survey to the subscribers will not strengthen the viewpoint of the president. Moreover, without more information of the respondents, we cannot rule out another possibility that the subscribers prefer imported cheeses did not send back their answers or the persons who preferred imported cheeses did not subscribe the magazine.（逻辑上，我认为不订阅杂志就不能成为correspondent）其实我觉得这里面有两层错误. Firstly，the confidence of the survey might be discounted by the biased sample (subscriber, respondents). And then even if the survey is credible, the result delivered by the worldwide magazine might not effectively reflect the case of America.

In sum, the argument of the president is unconvincing as it stands. To make the viewpoint more authentic, more detail of the price of domestic cheeses should be concerned in the memo with additional past records from all stores opened. To better support the conclusion, an introduction to the subscribers of the magazine and the respondents of the survey is also preferred.

觉得本文逻辑论证上还需要再拷打一下，提纲挺好的，但是好像没写出来的样子，而且楼主好像特别喜欢用if，if应该算是事实论据，尽管是假设的事实，建议楼主可以增加一些理论论证。我的语言功底也不太好，仅供参考吧～～
终于可以睡觉了～～zZZ

weixchUID: 2104033

谢谢

Ammmy2000UID: 2265680

argument 65 The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

新开的几家商店的情况不能说明所有商店，也许他们开在W，或是那儿的人们与W的联系特别紧密；新开业卖得好不代表以后也会好，可能这几个牌子最近在做促销活动，这样势头不会保持

卖得最好不能说明利润最高，除非有可能是它们价格特别低

什么人订这份杂志，如果它的主要客户不是顾客而是研究之士制造或是销售的人；调查是否公正，我们不排除偏爱进口奶酪的订者没有寄回问卷，或者就没有订这份杂志

The memo shown above recommends stopping stocking imported cheese and concentrating on domestic cheeses instead for profit. To better support the viewpoint, the president tells us the fact that the best-selling products at newest store were all domestic cheeses from Wisconsin, and mentions a survey by Cheeses of the World to indicate a growing preference for domestic cheeses. However, close scrutiny of the memo might show us some flaws undermining author’s deduction to this conclusion.

To begin with, the anticipated profit is based on an assumption that the domestic cheeses are cheap and easy for the cheese stores to make a profit. If the domestic cheeses are so expensive that even a great sales volume does not help to improve the performance of the cheese store, if the first costfirst cost是什么意思？ is undermining the profit, or even worse, if the first cost of the domestic cheeses has surpassed the highest endurable price to consumer, how can we promise to get a good deal from the domestic cheese? As the first cost of domestic cheeses is not concerned in the memo, we cannot draw an arbitrary conclusion from this uncertain supposition.下面写的都是和成本有关的情况吧，是不是考虑把TS改下呢？

As for the evidence mentioned in this memo, the first one make me feel dubious is the sales report from the newest store. As indicated in the sales report, the best-selling products at the newest store were domestic cheeses form Wisconsin. Here comes to some flaws in reasoning. Firstly, the figures come from the newest store, without coherent data from other stores and more information from past records, how can we assure the universality of the case in other stores and or promise the continuous trend in the future promise the trend will keep going in the future?Sencondly,注意和前面的衔接 If the newest store locates at Wisconsin, orif citizens there are more familiar with the brand of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin than other imported brands temporarily, or if the company of the brand happens to do sales promotion in these days, the case there would lost its universality in other place and we cannot make sure that the trend would last for a long period.注意下表达吧，恩，你很喜欢用IF，可以注意变化下句型哦

In the memo, the second evidence seems to support the president’s viewpoint is the survey carried out by a magazine. Unluckily, the detail of the subscribers of the magazine is not mentioned in the material. Without this information, we cannot rule out that the subscribers may be mostly producer or salesman of cheese instead of consumer of it. In this aspect, the survey to the subscribers will not strengthen the viewpoint of the president. Moreover, without more information of the respondents, we cannot rule out another possibility that the subscribers prefer imported cheeses did not send back their answers or the persons who preferred imported cheeses did not subscribe the magazine.什么人买这样的杂志，调查如何才能公正？提纲里面的东西要展开

In sum, the argument of the president is unconvincing as it stands. To make the viewpoint more authentic, more detail of the price of domestic cheeses should be concerned in the memo with additional past records from all stores opened. To better support the conclusion, an introduction to the subscribers of the magazine and the respondents of the survey is also preferred.