issue38 [Synergy小组]ostrich第五次作业

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

我已经写晕了 写到2点多 会有一些很弱智的错误 我还没检查
给大家添麻烦了





38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少。
1 先同意再反驳
2 电视让人们的生活更有效率 更快更方便的获取信息和知识+
3 不能完全依赖电视获得知识 毕竟电视台是以赢利为目的的-
4 读书可以启发人的智慧-
5 结尾



Is it not as important that reading books as it was once? The speaker claims that television provides people a great deal of information and knowledge in this high technical epoch. While television enables our lives to be more efficient, in my opinion, however, there is no substitute for books.

Admittedly, it is a key role that television plays in efficiently disseminating information and knowledge during this rapid epoch of change. For example, people can watch news on CNN at the sharp of every o'clock in few minutes, in which way they can know what happened during the last hour in this big world. The manifestation of television effect is that it imparts a vast quantity of information with vivid images and substantial sounds in a short of time. It is easy to acquire new facts and information through a television set. The chief reason is because watching TV is a passive and simple method to gain messages for people. It requires little efforts of people to learn by means of watching TV. People obviously cannot obtain this high efficiency of information in active and traditional ways, such as reading newspapers. In short, as a high technical device, television enables people's lives to be more efficient.

However, what is flawed is people, if any, only depend on watching television to learn knowledge. It is impossible that programs are always full of valuable content. As a public media, it is necessary to meet various requirements of diverse people. Thus, there are a variety of kinds of programs, such as entertainment news, fashion shows, and other programs with little value for learning. Watching these programs, people probably get noting without relaxation. Besides, the same program means different senses for diverse people. For instance, sports event means lots of senses for sports fans, in the contrary, it means nothing but boring for people who are insensitivity about games. In the other hand, it is because of the purpose of pursuing will that the editor will insert numerous advertisements in an enlightenment program. Watching advertisements about things people do not need, under certain circumstance, wastes people’s time. On these cases above, watching TV enables people’s lives inefficient.

When it comes to reading books, maybe some people assert that it takes a lot of time. However, the benefits of reading books outweigh the time it costs. Reading books can enlighten people. Take Jews as an example, they are keen on reading books since they are little. During their infancy, even just are able to creep, their parents brush honey on leaves of books. Then children will open the books to lick the honey although they do not know what books are. In this way, their parents cultivate their children a hobby of “reading” books, and then children begin to love books and keep the habit of reading in their lives. After many years of reading, acquiring a great quantity of knowledge, they become erudite and intellectual; the example of Albert Einstein is a convictive evidence to support the conclusion. Consequently, books provide people with wisdom.

To sum up, I concede that television spreads information and knowledge more efficiently, but what is erroneous is that people gain knowledge only by means of watching television. Reading books, as a way of learning and drawing knowledge, should not be replaced.


[ 本帖最后由 ostrich1986 于 2006-12-7 13:41 编辑 ]

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

Is it not as important that reading books as it was once?( 这句话语法不对吧，或许可以改为Is reading books no longer as important as it was once) The speaker claims that television provides people a great deal of information and knowledge in this high technical epoch. While television enables our lives to be （become）more efficient, (while放在这不好吧)in my opinion, however, there is no substitute for books.Admittedly, it is a key role that television plays in efficiently disseminating information and knowledge during this rapid epoch of change. For example, people can watch news on CNN at the sharp of every o'clock, in which way they can know what happened in the last hour of the big world, and it only takes several minutes. The manifestation of the effect (the manifest effect)of television is that it imparts a vast quantity of information with vivid images and substantial sounds in a short of time. The chief reason is because (that)watching TV is a passive and simple method to gain messages for people. People obviously cannot obtain this high efficiency of information in active and traditional ways, such as reading newspapers. In short, as a high technical device, television enables people's lives to be more efficient.However, what is flawed is people, if any, only depend on watching TV to learn knowledge. It is impossible that programs are always full of valuable content. As a public media, it is necessary to meet various requirements of diverse people. Thus, there are a variety of kinds of programs, such as entertainment news, fashion shows, and other programs with little intelligence. Watching these programs, people probably get noting without（except）relaxation. In(on) the other hand, it is because of the purpose of pursuing will that the editor will insert numerous advertisements in an intelligent program(读起来很绕口，能不能换一种表达方式). On certain cases, such as the two situations above, watching TV enables people’s lives inefficient.（前面一个例子好象说的是我们不能获得有意义的知识，与效率没有关系吧，能不能换个词总结）When it comes to reading books, maybe some people assert that it takes a lot of time. However, the benefits of reading books outweigh the time it costs. Reading books can enlighten people. Take Jews as an example, they are keen on reading books from they are little. During their infancy, even just are able to creep, their parents brush honey on (the )leaves of books. Then children will open the books to lick the honey although they cannot read. In this way, their parents cultivate their children a hobby of “reading” books, and then children begin to love books. After many years of reading, they become erudite and intellectual; the example of Albert Einstein is a convictive （ convincing）evidence to support the conclusion.Consequently, books provide people with wisdom.这一段的TS是Reading books can enlighten people吗？建议你放在句首，与第一句调换一下，而且个人感觉你应该再用几句话讲jews 如何intelligent,读书如何能启发智慧。
感觉这篇的语言表达不是很好，很多句子读起来觉得有问题，不流畅，再好好改一改哈。
To sum up, I concede that television spreads information and knowledge more efficiently, but what is erroneous is that people gain knowledge only by means of watching television. Reading books, as a way of learning and drawing knowledge, should not be replaced.

小兔521UID: 2230275

Is it not as important that reading books as it was once? The speaker claims that television provides people a great deal of information and knowledge in this high technical epoch. While television enables our lives to be more efficient, in my opinion, however, there is no substitute for books.（开头段的风格一直如此呵～满不错）

Admittedly, it is a key role that television plays in efficiently disseminating information and knowledge during this rapid epoch of change. For example, people can watch news on CNN at the sharp of every o'clock in few minutes, in which way they can know what happened during the last hour in this big world. The manifestation of television effect is that it imparts a vast quantity of information with vivid images and substantial sounds in a short of time. It is easy to acquire new facts and information through a television set. The chief reason is because watching TV is a passive and simple method to gain messages for people. It requires little efforts of people to learn by means of watching TV. People obviously cannot obtain this high efficiency of information in active（弱问：此处何意） and traditional ways, such as reading newspapers. In short, as a high technical device（facility是不是好些）, television enables people's lives to be more efficient.

However, what is flawed is people, if any, only depend on watching television to learn knowledge. It is impossible that programs are always （换成totally好点）full of valuable content. As a public media, it is necessary to meet various requirements of diverse people. Thus, there are a variety of kinds of programs, such as entertainment news, fashion shows, and other programs with little value for learning. Watching these programs, people probably get noting without（换except是不是好点） relaxation. Besides, the same program means different senses for diverse people. For instance, sports event （不知event合适否～）means lots of senses for sports fans, in the contrary, it means nothing but boring for people who are insensitivity about games. In the other hand, it is because of the purpose of pursuing will that the editor will insert numerous advertisements in an enlightenment program. Watching advertisements about things people do not need, under certain circumstance, wastes people’s time. On these cases above, watching TV enables people’s lives inefficient.

When it comes to reading books, maybe some people assert that it takes a lot of time. However, the benefits of reading books outweigh the time it costs. Reading books can enlighten people. Take Jews as an example, they are keen on reading books since they are little. During their infancy, even just are able to creep, their parents brush honey on leaves of books. Then children will open the books to lick the honey although they do not know what books are. In this way, their parents cultivate their children a hobby of “reading” books, and then children begin to love books and keep the habit of reading in their lives. After many years of reading, acquiring a great quantity of knowledge, they become erudite and intellectual; the example of Albert Einstein is a convictive evidence to support the conclusion.（这个例子，太可爱了^_^） Consequently, books provide people with wisdom.

To sum up, I concede that television spreads information and knowledge more efficiently, but what is erroneous is that people gain knowledge only by means of watching television. Reading books, as a way of learning and drawing knowledge, should not be replaced.

Ostrich，写的很不错啊，比前几篇看出了obvious的progress呢～

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

最近比较忙 都没什么时间好好改作文 这周吧 我会回复大家的
谢谢你们了

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

回复west
1While television enables our lives to be （become）more efficient, in my opinion, however, there is no substitute for books. 我是用while+however做让步的 不对么?
2it is because of the purpose of pursuing will that the editor will insert numerous advertisements in an intelligent program(读起来很绕口，能不能换一种表达方式).  真的绕口么?我还是从范文里学的句子呢
3 watching TV enables people’s lives inefficient.（前面一个例子好象说的是我们不能获得有意义的知识，与效率没有关系吧，能不能换个词总结） 我的意思是没得到有用的知识 浪费了时间 所以降低了效率 要不我换成waste time直接说?



回复 小兔
1  active 主动的传统的学习方法 读书是主动的吧
2 facilit 确实更好
3  event 做赛事 我是在多哈亚运会的宣传片里看的^_^



再讨论再讨论 谢谢谢谢

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

1While television enables our lives to be （become）more efficient, in my opinion, however, there is no substitute for books. 我是用while+however做让步的 不对么?
2it is because of the purpose of pursuing will that the editor will insert numerous advertisements in an intelligent program(读起来很绕口，能不能换一种表达方式).  真的绕口么?我还是从范文里学的句子呢

如果是范文的模写,那就没问题了,我也是新手,语言正处在模仿阶段,范文看的不多,所以可能不能给你很好的建议

3 watching TV enables people’s lives inefficient.（前面一个例子好象说的是我们不能获得有意义的知识，与效率没有关系吧，能不能换个词总结） 我的意思是没得到有用的知识 浪费了时间 所以降低了效率 要不我换成waste time直接说?

如果你想表达降低效率,那就说清楚是因为没得到有用的知识 浪费了时间 所以降低了效率 ,不要突然的来一句inefficient,还要让人转个弯想,老美的思维应该是很直接吧.不象中国人,很会转着弯想.直接说waste of time也不错啊,一目了然


如果以后我有什么改的不对的地方,请指正,便于大家互相学习,谢谢

[ 本帖最后由 westlife007_hu 于 2006-12-9 20:55 编辑 ]