Issue176 【认真作文互改小组 Norman第1次作业】--有批必回！

norman518UID: 188582

TOPIC: ISSUE176 - "The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each."
WORDS: 731          TIME: n:35:40          DATE: 2006-12-26

I only concede that Science and Art could produce such effects making people to feel reassuring and upsetting, however, I totally disagree with the speaker's assertion that those effects are the propos and function of Science and Art for that the value of Science and Art is more empowered by human beings than by itself born with.

Above all, the value of Science and Art is an expression and embodiment of human beings' own value. That is to say that Science and Art is a method or way for beings to carry out their own dream and value. Just as science and technology are not the primary productive forces until being used by beings, nor is the value of the science and art until being betaken or appreciated. But why the science and art make us reassuring as well as upsetting, to better illuminate their both positive and negative effects, let us look through what about science and art firstly.

Science and art, as a pair of twin sisters, are objective and beneficial for human being to realize and remold nature. Through science and art, human beings explore and recognize the externally physical and internally spiritual world, afterwards create and express the world according to their own understanding and comprehending about world. Science place more emphasis on the law, rule and truth of physical world, and increasingly free beings from enslavement under the nature. In the mean time, it is based on the recognition and sensation to the world that art mainly focus on the exploration of the human spiritual fields rather than only on the entertainment. On the one hand, with accumulating and deepening the recognizability and sensibility of world--from substance to molecule, atom, and to quanta--human have been instilling the ability of conquering and recasting nature, and then the recognizable ability in turn promotes beings to freely express their emotional patterns in art—including realism, superrealism, impressionism, abstractionism, and so forth. What is more interesting is that the creative and imaginative ability required by art is eventually useful for beings to advance science. Therefore, there is no mutually exclusive between science and art, whose final purposes should consist of pursuing and insisting on the truth of world.

On the other hand, the more power human beings have, the more influenced nature has been, then the deeper effect human beings suffered—no matter how reassuring or upsetting. It is by beings’ attitudes rather than science and technology themselves that the atom is identified to empower us peaceful benefits and destructive doom, as well as cloning is to entitle us well-being and disturbing. In the process of exploring and pursuing science and art, without the objective and candid attitude, human beings could reap more discontenting and upsetting rather than the prevalent and universal truth. When it comes to the process of creating and expressing the world, human attitudes play a vital role in deterring the effects and application of science and art. With the development of science, medical progresses provide us better quality of life and make us longer life, and just scientific advancement result in a series of problems making us upsetting as well as reassuring. Abortion, as a prominent example, is a national policy of controlling birth in some east countries, in addition be regarded as a server moral problem of human rights in western society. The same is true of art, no one can deny the fact that everyone has a distinct Hamlet or Jia Bao-yu (the hero of the Story of the Stone) in their own mind while reading these distinguished works. In fact, these differences between reassuring and upsetting only reflect human distinct value system on which the value of science and art depend.

In sum, the final value of science and art lie in exploring and insisting on the truth and nature of the world, it is the human beings’ attitudes and value system that empower fresh vigor to science and art—no matter whether reassuring or upsetting their effects are, all these effects between positive and negative like a mirror to reflect human ideas and to embody their values. On balance, it is more advisable for human beings to deal with science and art according to intellective and objective attitudes and methods rather than prejudicing and subjective, if so, human beings would harvest more assuring and confident rather than upsetting and disconcerting.

[ 本帖最后由 norman518 于 2006-12-27 00:47 编辑 ]

f_dingUID: 2283047

I only concede that Science and Art could produce such effects making people to feel reassuring and upsetting, however, I totally disagree with the speaker's assertion that those effects are the propos (purpose) and function of Science and Art for that the value of Science and Art is more empowered by human beings than by itself born with.

Above all, the value of Science and Art is an expression and embodiment of human beings' own value. That is to say that Science and Art is a method or way for beings to carry out their own dream and value. Just as science and technology are not the primary productive forces until being used by beings, nor is the value of the science and art until being betaken or appreciated. But why the science and art make us reassuring as well as upsetting, to better illuminate their both positive and negative effects, let us look through what about science and art firstly.

Science and art, as a pair of twin sisters, are objective and beneficial for human being to realize and remold nature. Through science and art, human beings explore and recognize the externally physical and internally spiritual world, afterwards create and express the world according to their own understanding and comprehending about world. Science place more emphasis on the law, rule and truth of physical world, and increasingly free beings from enslavement under the nature. In the mean time, it is based on the recognition and sensation to the world that art mainly focus on the exploration of the human spiritual fields rather than only on the entertainment.

On the one hand, with accumulating and deepening the recognizability and sensibility of world--from substance to molecule, atom, and to quanta--human have been instilling the ability of conquering and recasting nature, and then the recognizable ability in turn promotes beings to freely express their emotional patterns in art—including realism, superrealism, impressionism, abstractionism, and so forth. What is more interesting is that the creative and imaginative ability required by art is eventually useful for beings to advance science. Therefore, there is no mutually exclusive between science and art, whose final purposes should consist of pursuing and insisting on the truth of world.On the other hand, the more power human beings have, the more influenced nature has been, then the deeper effect human beings suffered—no matter how reassuring or upsetting. It is by beings’ attitudes rather than science and technology themselves that the atom is identified to empower us peaceful benefits and destructive doom, as well as cloning is to entitle us well-being and disturbing. In the process of exploring and pursuing science and art, without the objective and candid attitude, human beings could reap more discontenting and upsetting rather than the prevalent and universal truth. When it comes to the process of creating and expressing the world, human attitudes play a vital role in deterring the effects and application of science and art. With the development of science, medical progresses provide us better quality of life and make us longer life, and just scientific advancement result in a series of problems making us upsetting as well as reassuring. Abortion, as a prominent example, is a national policy of controlling birth in some east (eastern) countries, in addition be regarded as a server (severe) moral problem of human rights in western society (个人认为这样写，你看行不行？while in western society it is regarded as a severe moral problem of human rights). The same is true of art, no one can deny the fact that everyone has a distinct Hamlet or Jia Bao-yu (the hero of the Story of the Stone) in their own mind while reading these distinguished works. In fact, these differences between reassuring and upsetting only reflect human distinct value system on which the value of science and art depend.

In sum, the final value (values) of science and art lie in exploring and insisting on the truth and nature of the world, it is the human beings’ attitudes and value system that empower fresh vigor to science and art—no matter whether reassuring or upsetting their effects are, all these effects between positive and negative like a mirror to reflect human ideas and to embody their values. On balance, it is more advisable for human beings to deal with science and art according to intellective and objective attitudes and methods rather than prejudicing and subjective, if so, human beings would harvest more assuring and confident rather than upsetting and disconcerting.

观点鲜明（不是一般的写法啊，呵呵，厉害！），论据充分，结构清晰，语言流畅，特别是作者看待问题的角度很值得借鉴。(个人观点，鉴于我的水平有限，不是能很好的理解全文:) , 但是你能确定这样写没问题吗？
Norman是什么专业的？:handshake



[ 本帖最后由 f_ding 于 2006-12-27 14:43 编辑 ]

summer4323UID: 2250280

TOPIC: ISSUE176 - "The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each."
WORDS: 731          TIME: n:35:40          DATE: 2006-12-26

I only concede that Science and Art could produce such effects making people to feel reassuring and upsetting, however, I totally disagree with the speaker's assertion that those effects are the propos and function of Science and Art for that the value of Science and Art is more empowered by human beings than by itself born with.

Above all, the value of Science and Art is an expression and embodiment of human beings' own value. That is to say that Science and Art is a method or way for beings to carry out their own dream and value. That is to say, Science and Art are methods with which human beings realize their glittering dreams and fulfill their values. Just as science and technology are not the primary productive forces until being used by beings, nor is the value of the science and art until being betaken or appreciated. But why the science and art make us reassuring as well as upsetting, to better illuminate their both positive and negative effects, let us look through what about science and art firstly. 这两句看不懂讲什么意思 make sb. do, reassurance, upset 词性可以事先都熟悉一下, 但是可以谈一谈艺术和科学都是对自然和人类探索的过程，都在不断的发展。

Science and art, as a pair of twin sisters twin sisters of Wisdom, are objective and beneficial for human being to realize and remold nature bring us to the emperor of the knowledge of nature and society in two distinct directions其实这个可以放在上一段讲. Through science and art, human beings explore and recognize the externally physical and internally spiritual world, afterwards create and express the world according to their own understanding and comprehending about world. Science place more emphasis on the law, rule and truth of physical world, and increasingly free beings from enslavement under the nature. In the mean time, it is based on the recognition and sensation to the world that art mainly focus on the exploration of the human spiritual fields rather than only on the entertainment. On the one hand, with accumulating and deepening the recognizability and sensibility of world--from substance to molecule, atom, and to quanta--human have been instilling the ability of conquering and recasting nature, and then the recognizable ability in turn promotes beings to freely express their emotional patterns in art—including realism, superrealism, impressionism, abstractionism, and so forth. What is more interesting is that the creative and imaginative ability required by art is eventually useful for beings to advance science. Therefore, there is no mutually exclusive between science and art, whose final purposes should consist of pursuing and insisting on the truth of worldOn the other hand, the more power human beings have, the more influenced nature has been, then the deeper effect human beings suffered—no matter how reassuring or upsetting. It is by beings’ attitudes rather than science and technology themselves that the atom is identified to empower us peaceful benefits and destructive doom, as well as cloning is to entitle us well-being and disturbing. In the process of exploring and pursuing science and art, without the objective and candid attitude, human beings could reap more discontenting and upsetting rather than the prevalent and universal truth. When it comes to the process of creating and expressing the world, human attitudes play a vital role in deterring the effects and application of science and art. With the development of science, medical progresses provide us better quality of life and make us longer life, and just scientific advancement result in a series of problems making us upsetting as well as reassuring. Abortion, as a prominent example, is a national policy of controlling birth in some east countries, in addition be regarded as a server moral problem of human rights in western society. The same is true of art, no one can deny the fact that everyone has a distinct Hamlet or Jia Bao-yu (the hero of the Story of the Stone) in their own mind while reading these distinguished works. In fact, these differences between reassuring and upsetting only reflect human distinct value system on which the value of science and art depend.

In sum, the final value of science and art lie in exploring and insisting on the truth and nature of the world, it is the human beings’ attitudes and value system that empower fresh vigor to science and art—no matter whether reassuring or upsetting their effects are, all these effects between positive and negative like a mirror to reflect human ideas and to embody their values. On balance, it is more advisable for human beings to deal with science and art according to intellective and objective attitudes and methods rather than prejudicing and subjective, if so, human beings would harvest more assuring and confident rather than upsetting and disconcerting.

.开始准备给你逐句改的，后来发现，好像不太切题（个人看法）：题目的重点不是谈科学和艺术的所侧重的领域，而是谈它们的功能，当然跟他们所关注的领域相关。比如这段谈谈科学能通过对自然的发现，让人类更好的了解事情发展的规律，让我们更好的改造世界，比如认识地球引力，我们就如何应用到宇宙飞船？但科学也给我们迷茫，巨大的科学成就与被破坏的环境；高速发展的基因科学与伦理道理的悖理等等。下一段可以艺术关注的范围，如对美的发现，对人类社会的反应，对人类情感的倾诉。让我们分享人类普遍认同的审美情趣，道德，如罗密欧与朱丽叶的故事虽然让人悲伤，但让我们感到真爱的力量；而海底两万里的神奇想象，让我们对未来充满了希望而非悲观的叹息；毕加索虽然让我们看到扭曲的灵魂，但给我们更多的启示：尊重自我，寻求欢乐是人类的本能，人有权利去寻找自我真理；娜娜的出走虽然是一个痛苦的历程但给予女性寻找自我，对立的鼓舞。当然艺术更加倾向于表现悲剧，因为悲剧本身就更加能打动人们内心的柔弱和隐秘的黑暗，但这样的悲剧也从反面印证了平淡生活和追求幸福的可贵。一个很好的例子就是自然主义的复苏，强调自然和谐的新兴艺术，虽然表现的主题也让人伤感和迷茫，但所表达的对自然的关注应当当作我们的反思和努力的方向

lalahUID: 2215160

先占个位。。。
看看我的Isuue127吧：https://bbs.gter.net./bbs/viewthr ... &extra=page%3D2
嘿嘿~

taroUID: 2286098

I only concede that Science and Art could produce such effects making people to feel reassuring and upsetting, however, I totally disagree with the speaker's assertion that those effects are the propos(?) and function of Science and Art for that the value of Science and Art is more empowered by human beings than by itself born with.
Above all, the value of Science and Art is an expression and embodiment of human beings' own value. That is to say that Science and Art is a method or way for beings to carry out their own dream and value. Just as science and technology are not the primary productive forces until being used by beings, (being used by beings 看着有点别扭)nor is the value of the science and art until being betaken or appreciated. But why the science and art make us reassuring as well as upsetting, to better illuminate their both positive and negative effects, let us look through what about science and art(是否缺个动词are?) firstly.
Science and art, as a pair of twin sisters, are objective and beneficial for human being to realize and remold nature. Through science and art, human beings explore and recognize the externally physical and internally spiritual world, afterwards create and express the world according to their own understanding and comprehending(comprehension) about world. Science place(s) more emphasis on the law, rule and truth of physical world, and increasingly free(s) beings from enslavement under the nature. In the mean time, it is based on the recognition and sensation to(of) the world that art mainly focus on the exploration of the human spiritual fields rather than only on the entertainment. On the one hand, with accumulating and deepening the recognizability and sensibility of world--from substance to molecule, atom, and to quanta--human have been instilling the ability of conquering and recasting nature, and then the recognizable ability (这里是指认知能力吗,若是,建议用cognitive ability) in turn promotes beings to freely express their emotional patterns in art—including realism, superrealism, impressionism, abstractionism, and so forth. What is more interesting is that the creative and imaginative ability required by art is eventually useful for beings to advance science. Therefore, there is no mutually exclusive (exclusion) between science and art, whose final purposes should consist of pursuing and insisting on the truth of world.
On the other hand, the more power human beings have, the more influenced nature has been, then the deeper effect human beings suffered(前后时态不一致)—no matter how reassuring or upsetting. It is by beings’ attitudes rather than science and technology themselves that the atom is identified to empower us peaceful benefits and destructive doom, as well as cloning is to entitle us well-being and disturbing.(as well as 后面似乎不接完整分句) In the process of exploring and pursuing science and art, without the(an) objective and candid attitude, human beings could reap more discontenting and upsetting rather than the(建议去掉the) prevalent and universal truth. When it comes to the process of creating and expressing the world, human attitudes play a vital role in deterring (阻止?还是determining?) the effects and application of science and art. With the development of science, medical progresses provide us better quality of life and make us longer life, and just (这样的衔接感觉不太地道)scientific advancement result in a series of problems (,)making us upsetting as well as reassuring. Abortion, as a prominent example, is a national policy of controlling birth in some east(eastern)countries,( Abortion可不是控制人口增长的”国策”吧) in addition be regarded as a server moral problem of human rights in western society.(感觉这个例子不是对科学upsetting作用的很好印证) The same is true of art,(断句?) no one can deny the fact that everyone has a distinct Hamlet or Jia Bao-yu (the hero of the Story of the Stone) in their (前后人称不一致)own mind while reading these distinguished works. In fact, these differences between reassuring and upsetting only reflect human distinct value system on which the value of science and art depend.
In sum, the final value of science and art lie in exploring and insisting on the truth and nature of the world, it is the human beings’ attitudes and value system that empower fresh vigor to science and art—no matter whether reassuring or upsetting their effects are, all these effects between positive and negative like a mirror to reflect human ideas and to embody their values.(这句好长,结构可能比较混,可考虑分成两句) On balance, it is more advisable for human beings to deal with science and art according to intellective and objective attitudes and methods rather than prejudicing (prejudiced) and subjective, if so, human beings would harvest more assuring and confident rather than upsetting and disconcerting. (感觉结尾句好像和题目不太相关呢)
FYR
1整体感觉:段落间联系不太紧密.
2段落过渡和单句中衔接词句可修改得再顺畅些.
3 这么短时间内敲出七百多字该是怎样练的呀.

lalahUID: 2215160

TOPIC: ISSUE176 - "The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each."

I only concede that Science and Art could produce such effects (by) making people to feel reassuring and upsetting (reassured and upset), however, I totally disagree with the speaker's assertion that those effects are the propos and function of Science and Art for that the value of Science and Art is more empowered by human beings than by itself born with. (这句话绕~)Above all, the value of Science and Art is an(one of the) expression and embodiment of human beings' own value. That is to say that Science and (or) Art is a method or way for beings to carry out their own dream and value. Just as science and technology are not the primary productive forces until being used by (最好添个human吧) beings, nor is the value of the science and art until being betaken or appreciated. But why the science and art make us reassuring as well as upsetting, to better illuminate their both positive and negative effects, let us look through(删) what about science and art firstly. Science and art, as a pair of twin sisters, are objective(art 不一定客观) and beneficial for human being to realize and remold nature. Through science and art, human beings explore and recognize the externally physical and internally spiritual world, afterwards (and then)create and express the world according to their own understanding and comprehending about world.(是改造世界吧？) Science place more emphasis on the law, rule and truth of physical world, and increasingly free beings from enslavement under the nature.（谓语呢？increasingly set human beings free from dependence on nature） In the mean time, it is based on the recognition and sensation to the world that art mainly focus on the exploration of the human spiritual fields rather than only on the entertainment. On the（删掉） one hand, with accumulating and deepening the recognizability and sensibility of world--from substance to molecule, atom, and to quanta--human have been instilling the ability of conquering and recasting (to conquer and recast) nature, and then the recognizable ability in turn promotes beings to freely express their emotional patterns in art—including realism, superrealism, impressionism, abstractionism, and so forth. What is more interesting is that the creative and imaginative ability required by art is eventually useful for beings to advance science. Therefore, there is no mutually exclusive between science and art, whose final purposes should consist of pursuing and insisting on the truth of world.(？？艺术不一定吧，抒发情感，如文学作品，表达对世界的看法~)
On the other hand, the more power human beings have, the more influenced nature has been,(建议修改下) then the deeper effect human beings suffered—no matter how（however）reassuring or upsetting. It is by beings’ attitudes (?) rather than science and technology themselves that the atom is identified to empower us peaceful benefits and destructive doom, as well as cloning is to entitle us well-being and disturbing.(语句~~~) In the process of exploring and pursuing science and art, without the objective and candid attitude, human beings could reap more discontenting and upsetting rather than the prevalent and universal truth. When it comes to the process of creating and expressing the world, human attitudes play a vital role in deterring the effects and application of science and art. With the development of science, medical progresses provide us better quality of life and make us longer life,(extend human longevity ) and just scientific advancement result(s) in a series of problems making us upsetting as well as reassuring. Abortion,(计划生育与堕胎不一样，别用啊~) as a prominent example, is a national policy of controlling birth in some east countries,（好像只有中国这样~） in addition be regarded(用法不对) as a server moral problem of human rights in western society. The same is true of art, no one can deny the fact that everyone has a distinct (加点东西~) Hamlet or Jia Bao-yu (the hero of the Story of the Stone) in their own mind while reading these distinguished works. In fact, these differences between reassuring and upsetting only reflect human distinct value system on which the value of science and art depend.In sum, the final value of science and art lie in exploring and insisting on the truth and nature of the world, it is the human beings’ attitudes and value system that empower fresh vigor to science and art—no matter whether reassuring or upsetting their effects are, all these effects between positive and negative like a mirror to reflect human ideas and to embody their values.(挺好的) On balance, it is more advisable for human beings to deal with science and art according to intellective and objective attitudes and methods rather than prejudicing and subjective, if so, human beings would harvest more assuring and confident rather than upsetting and disconcerting.

好像偏题了~文章是说科学与艺术的各自价值，并不是像文章中所阐述的那样它们各自的优缺点及两者的相互关系。其次语句有点长且绕，句子显得散不紧凑。

norman518UID: 188582

1）我的文章是说：科学和艺术的价值是在很大程度上是人赋予的--人的态度、观念和方法决定了科学和艺术的价值，即：科学和艺术的价值实质上是人类自身价值的一种体现形式而已！·
不知道我的观点“跑题”没有？
2）the policy of controlling brith is carried by India, Pakistan, South Korea, and many countries in Southeast Asia.

[ 本帖最后由 norman518 于 2006-12-30 18:14 编辑 ]