issue41 my first homework 求拍！~！~！

king888UID: 2285811

Begin 9:40
Issue41 such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
1:non-mainstream science 有好处和坏处
2：今天的 non-mainstream以后没准是主流基础的知识，而现在看起来是主流的以后没准被淘汰
3：non-mainstream可以使社会朝多样性发展，使科学家的思想更灵活
4：当然，有些non-mainstream是有害处的
5: 我们要在主流与非主流的科学之间找个平衡
In order for our society which we have been living in generation after generation for many thousands of years to improve, innumerable new, challenged, novel discoveries and inventions had emerged, which might be a brand of the mainstream existed during the era of the time but also might be non-mainstream outraged the mainstream brief. While the varies discoveries and creation in sciences and other areas judged by different persons, I think, have different definitions toward which is mainstream or not in different eras. Both positive and negative effects toward to the history develop call for the people among western countries living in modern era and having so many technologies to realize the emphasis of the mainstream and non-mainstream.

Non-mainstream scientist is necessary for the developing of the society is because that what is non-mainstream and seem not to compel the society to improve today may become the basic knowledge someday. On the other hand, the so called mainstream may be proved wrong and abandoned as the technology developing. Darwin, who born in British, considered as the greatest naturalist, brought a revolutionary about the study of biology with his theory of evolution based on natural selection. When he firstly pronounced his ideas that so many various of animal species was due to the development of process during many millennia through his two greatest famous works—Origin of Species and Descend of Man, he challenged the traditional Christian and outraged the religious fundamental which was of course considered the mainstream in that time. But now, as all the people in the world have believed Darwin and accepted his theories, it is general the same man become the pillar of society rather than a derelict.

Further, the pursuit of mainstream will lead to the society bogged down in a Sargasso Sea of rigid mind. Creation may be defined as producing the things not existed. Did we not stimulate our brain and force we consume, assimilate and digest the external ideas, we would focus eventually a little point that is so called mainstream from the big bang of the world. Van Gogh is mentioned to be as the representation of creator. He created impressionism on painting which is accepted long after his death. What a pity is that during all his lift he sold one of his pictures. Nevertheless, Van Gogh had pursuit his ideas and faith until he could not pick up a pencil. if Van Gogh did not insist to pursuit his faith and enforce himself to change his stake toward to the mainstream, we would enjoy the great painting of impressionism.

Admittedly, some non-mainstream sciences such as fortune-telling and paranormal pursuits which is not concerned with science and absolutely divinity will ultimately harm to humans in the world. People may pigheadedly believe the pseudoscience sometime and may pay for his “faith” with his life or at least squander his time and opportunities. Newton, who was considered as one of the greatest physicists, pursuit his faith and ideas on divinity made him lost the opportunities to claim a higher rung of the ladder of the science.

In sum, without the non-mainstream made we have the imagination to see the world through a broader picture; we will be rigid in a snare of solo-science. On the other hand, if we pursuit over-non-mainstream science, we will not sure we will still on the jousting field and may not know what the stakes are. So, we need to look for a bit more balance between the mainstream and the non-mainstream.

king888UID: 2285811

大约用了两个小时，中间查了几次金山词霸，几个词不会写了，大家帮拍拍吧

yottaUID: 2176604

In order for our society which we have been living in generation after generation for many(manyX) thousands of years to improve(in order for sth to do sth,病句，可改为for the development of our society...), innumerable new, challenged(?), novel discoveries and inventions had (have)emerged, which might(may)be a (the)brand (+not only) of the mainstream (什么主流？)existed during the era of the time(?) but also might (mightX)be non-mainstream （什么非主流？）outraged the mainstream brief. While the (theX)varies discoveries and creation(creations) in sciences(science) and other areas judged by different persons(people), I think, have different definitions toward (of)which(what) is mainstream or not(not改为nonmainstream) in different eras. Both positive and negative effects toward to(toX) the history develop（development） call for the （theX）people(peoples) among （in）western countries living in modern era and having so many technologies to realize the emphasis of the mainstream and non-mainstream.


Non-mainstream scientist is necessary for the developing [development] of the society is because [语法错误] that what is non-mainstream and seem not to compel the society to improve today may become the basic knowledge someday. On the other hand [on one hand 在哪里？], the so called mainstream may be proved [to be]wrong and abandoned as the technology developing. [举例前可以加一个标志词，如for example]Darwin, who [was] born in British[出生在哪里似乎与主题无关], [is] considered as [one of ]the greatest naturalist, brought a revolutionary about [bring about 不可分开] the study of biology with his theory of evolution based on natural selection. When he firstly pronounced his ideas [idea即可] that so many various of animal species was due to the development of process during many millennia through his two greatest famous works—Origin of Species and Descend of Man, he challenged the traditional Christian and outraged the religious fundamental which was of course considered the mainstream in that time. But now, as all the people [呵呵，好像还是有不少宗教人士是不信的] in the world have believed [为什么用完成时？]Darwin and accepted his theories, it [指代谁？]is general the same man become the pillar of society rather than a derelict.

Further, the pursuit of mainstream will lead to the society bogged down in a Sargasso Sea of rigid mind. Creation may be defined as producing the things not existed. Did we not stimulate our brain and force we consume, assimilate and digest the external ideas, we would focus eventually a little point that is so called mainstream from the big bang of the world. Van Gogh is mentioned to be [可去掉]as the representation of creator[creators]. He created impressionism on painting which is accepted long after his death. What a pity is that during all his lift he sold one of his pictures. Nevertheless, Van Gogh had pursuit his ideas and faith until he could not pick up a pencil. if Van Gogh did not insist to pursuit his faith and enforce himself to change his stake toward to the mainstream, we would enjoy the great painting of impressionism. [这篇issue主要讨论的是科学界的主流与非主流，凡高的例子似乎不合适]

Admittedly, some non-mainstream sciences such as fortune-telling and paranormal pursuits which is[are] not concerned with science and absolutely divinity[神学属于非主流吗？] will ultimately harm to humans in the world. People may pigheadedly believe the pseudoscience sometime and may pay for his “faith” with his life or at least squander his time and opportunities. Newton, who was considered as one of the greatest physicists, pursuit his faith and ideas on divinity made him lost the opportunities to claim a higher rung of the ladder of the science[这句写的好].

In sum, without the non-mainstream made [？]we have the imagination to see the world through a broader picture; we will be rigid in a snare of solo-science. On the other hand[还是一样的问题，one hand 在哪？], if we pursuit over-non-mainstream science, we will not sure[系动词在哪？] we will still on the jousting field and may not know what the stakes are. So, we need to look for a bit more balance between the mainstream and the non-mainstream





注：括号中的X代表删除

评语：恐怕这篇文章你没有审清题目。本文并不是讨论谁是主流，谁是非主流，而是讨论属于非主流科学的一些领域（这一点是毋庸置疑的）是否对人有用。
           1. 语法错误多，尤其是冠词和介词搭配，有些我帮你改了，有些我自己觉得有问题，可是拿不准就没 有标出来（也许是我浅薄：）语法需要多看，多练。
          2. 觉得你很喜欢用很复杂的定语从句，不过，请千万搞清楚句子的结构，否则不容易被人看懂。
          3. 积极用复杂句的意识很好，向你学习：）

PS:  原本是OoOo改你的作文的，可是他打不开你的帖子，所以我替他改了：）      
        我的水平有限，修改意见仅供参考。




[ 本帖最后由 yotta 于 2007-1-2 17:46 编辑 ]