Argument147 【CSMY作文互改小组】第一次作业 我的第一篇文章请大家拍砖

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题目：Argument147 The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
words: 540                            DATE: 2006-12-31
Abstract:
1. 没有说明调查的基数，调查的范围，调查的对象。 使得调查不具有说服力。
2. 没有把购买人群的消费能力和其他影响消费的因素考虑在内。
3. 没有考虑在这推广的过程中会不会有其他竞争者的出现影响销售。

ARTICLE:
The editorial concluded that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in next few month. The editor only suspect this result from the survey which was taken to the video-game players and acquainted that the players prefer the lifelike graphic games which need the up-to-date computers, which Whirlwind has introduced some games possessed these characters.

First of all, as mentioned in argument, the survey didn’t indicate the sample quantity of this survey. It is reasonable to believe only has a few people takes this survey, and the preference only could represent a very small part of the players. Meanwhile, this survey didn’t mention the scale of the people who takes this survey. The scale contains two sides, one side is the region scope, and the other side is the age range. If this survey only was take in one state, the culture and the consumption level could profoundly influence the viewpoint to the game. If the region has a high consumption level and fashionable, people who live there would much more prefer to use the game with the vivid picture and need to use the up-to-date computers. They take much more consideration of the quality rather than price. Adversely, in some relevantly undervaluing place, people in there would take the price into account much more than the other factors. On the other hand, the age is also an important aspect we need concern. Because different age range has vastly difference in consuming ability. A man has already been working for a few years would prefer the highly sophisticated products to enjoy the pleasure of playing, but a student would like to buy a highly efficient and cost-effective product. It is obviously this survey with so vagued statistic could not completely take as the evidence of the conclusion.

Meanwhile, the argument is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the other factors which would effect the consumers to buy the game. Such as the main level of the players and the cycle of elimination. Usually, the game players are concentrated on the students, but this range of the crowd doesn’t have a high consuming capability, so they can’t afford a game needs such a high configuration. Thus, the main consumer was transferred to the older people who have a steady income. But Whirlwind campaigns the advertisement directed at people 10 to 25 years old—almost the students—this only confirms that Whirlwind did a incorrect strategy, but even more could not justify their sales would increase in months.

Finally, the argument hasn’t mentioned whether there’re other threats from the competitors in the recent months. If the competitors released new products also meet the requirements of the players but have a lower price, or they campaign a more attractive activities, that would constitute a threat to Whirlwind.

The argument merely concludes the sales of Whirlwind by an incompletely statistic survey. This is not very abundant. And this editorial would direct the Whirlwind to the working way to make their further campaign on their new products. If Whirlwind want to got a drastically increase in their sales, they would take a more detailed survey and make a accurate position of the market for their products.