ETS-6分范文分析【自由女神小组第一次作业】

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Sample Topic
“In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated. We need more generalists—people who can provide broad perspectives.”

Essay Response—Score 6 （words:665）
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.
一句话开头，开门见山，点出全文主题：“a balance”。长句是怎么写的？多加些分词短语，多加些形容词。

Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media.又是一长句作TS，点明specialists的必要性 As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase): “I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge.多加从句，短句就变成了长句 It is only because of each of the narrowly focused individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. 强调句Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, 暗喻，妙。我们写语文作文时就知道，比喻句具有形象生动的功能，那么写英文作文也应该写几个比喻句but together we can climb to the moon.” This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us.
本段主要说specialists的重要性。文中的例子其实是作者自己杜撰出来的。但ETS却说是“a compelling case for specialization”,故而可知：用例子不一定非要用名人，有时用自己身边发生的事可能会更有说服力。（当然这些例子大部分是自己杜撰出来的，这就要求你引用的主人公一定要说支持你该段观点的话）

Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso Sea of information overload. While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.
从反面说specialists的重要性：如果没有他会怎样？值得学习！

On the other hand, over specialization means narrow focii in which people can lose the larger picture. No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one’s own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. 又是一个有趣的例子Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discovieries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may from a picture.
本段说过于强调specialists的坏处。注意transition words：On the other hand; Further

Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universall issues.Not only … but also … Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focuses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.
由“过于强调specialists的坏处”转到generalists的重要性。还是注意其transition words。
Finally, over-specialization in a people’s daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forced into pigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must consciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information in order not to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focused and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.
又说“过分强调specialists的坏处”，本段也许作者想不写的，但是由于还有时间就加了这一段。（个人推测）。因为这点上面已讲过，这段只是从另一角度更深入了一步。

Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recongnizes the impotance of braod-mindedness and fora for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.
最后结尾写的很好，但很显然由于时间紧张出现了不少拼写错误。
该段先从两方面总结，进而到最后一句话，用一句话概括这两种人的重要性。可以说是点睛之笔。ETS看到这最后一句话时就下定决心给该文满分了。
总评：该文结构特别清晰，几乎每段第一句话都是TS。符合老美思维习惯（把重要的放在前面现说）。开头段和结尾段是亮点段。作者写得简洁又相互呼应。在句式、选词、修辞方面都较出色。句式多变，长句较多。还用了比喻、排比等修辞手法，生动形象又有说服力。连接词的选用也很好，使得文章读起来很流畅。

huzhUID: 2268429

评的好细啊，我看了一晚上才完成，真辛苦啊！