Argument140 graduate06--Hamming组 自己的第10篇Argument

graduate06UID: 2223299

140.The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

在Thomas教授作为植物学教授的17年里，她证明了自己确实是值50000元年薪的。她的班级是本校最大的班级之一，这说明她在学生中间的受欢迎度。而且，她给学校带来的研究捐助在过去两年中都超过了她的年薪。因此，鉴于Thomas教授已被证实的教学和研究能力，我们建议将她的年薪增加10000元，并提升为系主任；如果没有这些加薪和提升，我们担心Thomas教授将会离开Elm City大学到别的学校就职。

漏洞：

论据：

1、          因果关系错：班最大，带的学生多=/=〉收学生的欢迎

2、          过去两年给学校带来的收入大于给他的薪水=/=〉她总体上给学校带来的更多。

结论：

3、          充分必要：一定要既加薪，又当系主任参能留住她吗？或许只需一条，抑或只需要给他一些其它的荣誉就可以留住她，一定要考虑他最看重的是什么。

WORDS: 472         TIME:           DATE: 2006-1-5

The recommendation of the argument that Elm City University (ECU) should raise the salary of Professor Thomas and promote her as Department Chairperson seems to be obvious conclusion at first glance. Yet careful scrutiny of the evidence and the line of the reasoning reveal that the author provides no firm support to the conclusion. The arguer assumes that the more students who taught the much popular that person. The arguer also assumes her contribution to the university much more than the salary she got. The necessity and of recommendation is open to doubt.  

The threshold assumption of the argument is that the number of students who taught indicates the popularity of that teacher. Without such evidence it is entirely possible that ECU is a university that the number of students of botany dean is very large and the teachers are not enough. Because many students don not have other chooses, so they choose Professor Thomas as their botany teacher. If it is the case, maybe many students totally don not like her but not like her.

Another assumption of the argument that the Professor Thomas contributes to the university more than her salary is on the basis of the evidence of a short period. But the two years period is too short to persuasive. We are not informed that in the past 17 years the total money she got and spent. It is equally possible that ECU had spent a large mount of money to support her study in the forgoing 15 years. And maybe she has not repaid the money on the whole. Before examining and ruling out these reasons the author cannot convince me that her research abilities are excellent.

Even if the research and teaching abilities of Professor Thomas is very well, the recommendation of the argument’s necessary and sufficiency are open to question. Because the author have not shown that the need of Professor Thomas, perhaps she only want to be the chairperson of the dean. So a pay rise is not necessary. Or perhaps she just needs more research fund, so the salary and the promotion are not necessary. Or perhaps she simply wants to live in another state with her husband, so no matter how much money and how good a position are not attractive to her. So before surveying the need of the professor, any recommendation is premature.

In sum, the argument, which seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. To strengthen it the author must provide the evidence that the attitude of the students with Professor Thomas such as an anonymous survey about her popularity. To better evaluate the argument we need the total number of the money she got from and contributed to ECU. We also need to know that what are her real demands and more details about her. 472

[ 本帖最后由 graduate06 于 2007-1-6 02:16 编辑 ]

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

The recommendation of the argument that Elm City University (ECU) should raise the salary of Professor Thomas and promote her as Department Chairperson seems to be obvious conclusion at first glance. Yet careful scrutiny of the evidence and the line of the reasoning reveal that the author provides no firm support to the conclusion. The arguer assumes that the more students who taught the much popular that person. The arguer also assumes her contribution to the university much more than the salary she got. The necessity and of recommendation is open to doubt.  开头段不错，也没有明显错误。The threshold assumption of the argument is that the number of students who taught indicates the popularity of that teacher. Without such evidence it is entirely possible that ECU is a university that the number of students of botany dean [dean (大学)院长, 主持牧师, (基督教)教长] is very large and the teachers are not enough. Because[So that 上边的已经说明原因了，这里应该顺下来好点吧？] many students don not have other chooses, so [del] they [only to ]choose Professor Thomas as their botany teacher. If it is the case, maybe many students totally don not like her but not like her[什么意思？除了不喜欢，还是不喜欢？].Another assumption of the argument that the Professor Thomas contributes to the university more than her salary is on the basis of the evidence of a short period. But [转折？前面说了是基于一个短时期了。斟酌，不是很流畅]the two years period is too short to persuasive. We are not informed that in the past 17 years the total money she got and spent. It is equally possible that ECU had spent a large mount of money to support her study in the forgoing 15 years. And maybe she has not repaid the money on the whole. Before examining and ruling out these reasons the author cannot convince me that her research abilities are excellent. Even if the research and teaching abilities of Professor Thomas is very well, the recommendation of the argument’s necessary [自己的话？necessary的名词是必须品的意思。]and sufficiency are open to question. Because the author have not shown that the need [expectation?] of Professor Thomas, perhaps she only want to be the chairperson of the dean. So a pay rise is not necessary. Or perhaps she just needs more research fund, so the salary and the promotion are not necessary. Or perhaps she simply wants to live in another state with her husband, so no matter how much money and how good a position are not attractive to her. So before surveying the need of the professor, any recommendation is premature. In sum, the argument, which seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. To strengthen it the author must provide the evidence that the attitude of the students with Professor Thomas such as an anonymous survey about her popularity. To better evaluate the argument we need the total number of the money she got from and contributed to ECU. We also need to know that what are her real demands and more details about her.
结尾很好，总体感觉语言比较平时流畅，逻辑错误想的比较全面！连接词用的似乎略显简单，比如so用的多了点，考虑下。

[ 本帖最后由 ScorpionSky 于 2007-1-6 12:23 编辑 ]