Argument53【米国有米】小组 第十次作业

Silence0706UID: 2289145

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

syllabus:
1.（无效调查）大多数婴儿都会在受到不熟悉的刺激时紧张，这不能作为melatonin影响的原因。并且这项研究在13年前进行，文中并未提起在这期间作过任何跟踪调查，孩子的害羞与他们所处的环境和受到的父母和学校教育紧密相关，所以这个也不能作为荷尔蒙影响的证据。
2.（因果关系）没有证据证明孩子认为自己害羞与母亲分泌的melatonin有关。
3.（无理假设）不能根据孩子在出生以及13岁时害羞推断出他们在生命的更晚阶段也会害羞，随着知识和阅历的增加，他们会逐渐走向成熟。
4.（样本过小）我们不能通过25名婴儿的表现推断出本文所诉结论。(本文未论述)
5.所以， 本文........

In this editorial the author conduces that the excessive melatonin which affect people's brain function make people more sensitive than others. To support this conclusion the author cites the result of a research that a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy when they are teenagers. In addition, the author assumes that this situation will continues into later life. In several respects, however, the evidence lends little credible support for the argument.

In the first place, the argument relies on two researches, one of which did 13 years ago. Nevertheless, the survey cited here is too vague to be informative. The author provides no assurances that the survey on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. Most of infants will feel uncomfortable when unfamiliar stimuli are showed to them. Leaving mother's uterus and facing the unfamiliar world, we cannot expect anyone feel comfortable at this kind of situation without mention infants. The infants will easily been distressed with anything overreacted to them. Moreover, the author did not refer any track investigation during these 13 years; the testers might have very tough experiences which make them sensitive. People will be affected by surrounding things, such as school, parents, living environment .etc.  The author cannot expect us to take seriously the researches by these uncertain factors.
In the second place, there is no evidence prove that the shyness is related with melatonin. The author assume that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight caused the infants more sensitive. But this is fallacious reasoning unless other possible causal explanation have been considered and ruled out.  The author did not know the infants' accurate conceived time; this conclusion cannot base on the questionable reason.  

In the third place, the author assumes that the increased levels of melatonin before birth lead to shyness during infancy and it will continues into their later life. In fact, this is not necessarily the case.  If some of these people move to a more opening place where they can get everything they want and people are very forthright and generous. They might change their shyness gradually. And with the increasing of the knowledge and the experience, they also might adapt to the society and become more optimism.  

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility since the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims. To make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information concerning the relation between infants and hormone to better evaluate the argument, we need more concrete evidence that infants in affected by the melatonin warrantable, otherwise the argument is logically unacceptable.

bluecathyUID: 2231215

In this editorial the author conduces[concludes] that the excessive melatonin which affect people's brain function make people more sensitive[原文是shy，这个不要变，因为我们毕竟是写驳论文，不能自己再有漏洞] than others. To support this conclusion the author cites the result of a research that a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy when they are teenagers. In addition, the author assumes that this situation will continues[continue] into later life. In several respects, however, the evidence lends little credible support for the argument.点题不错，就是作为开头段有点长了。

In the first place, the argument relies on two researches, one of which did 13 years ago. Nevertheless, the survey cited here is too vague to be informative. The author provides no assurances that the survey on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. Most of infants will feel uncomfortable when unfamiliar stimuli are showed to them. Leaving mother's uterus and facing the unfamiliar world, we cannot expect anyone feel comfortable at this kind of situation without mention infants. The infants will easily been[be] distressed with anything overreacted to them. Moreover, the author did not refer any track investigation during these 13 years; the testers might have very tough experiences which make them sensitive. People will be affected by surrounding things, such as school, parents, living environment .etc. The author cannot expect us to take seriously the researches by these uncertain factors.作者写argument上手比issue快很多啊，我觉得这段写的不错，也很注意句子的复杂结构。但是呢，作者一定要注意will和动词原形的搭配，你issue130也有这样的错误，还有完成时态的被动语态和单复数也有错误，建议你以后的写作的时候注意下。

In the second place, there is no evidence prove[proving] that the shyness is related with melatonin. The author assume that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight caused the infants more sensitive. But this is fallacious reasoning unless other possible causal explanation have been considered and ruled out. The author did not know the infants' accurate conceived time; this conclusion cannot base on the questionable reason.  

In the third place, the author assumes that the increased levels of melatonin before birth lead to shyness during infancy and it will continue[s去掉] into their later life. In fact, this is not necessarily the case. If some of these people move to a more opening place where they can get everything they want and people are very forthright and generous. They might change their shyness gradually. And with the increasing of the knowledge and the experience, they also might adapt to the society and become more optimism.  

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility since the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims.[这句很精彩] To make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information concerning the relation between infants and hormone to better evaluate the argument, we need more concrete evidence that infants in affected by the melatonin warrantable, otherwise the argument is logically unacceptable.最后这段总结得也很有力度。
你的argument写的很不错，结构清楚，错误找得也很全，句子也都不错。以后多注意下用词吧。加油！共勉！

Silence0706UID: 2289145

呵呵
谢谢 blue`

ISU比ARG要难啊，素材不好找，要记的东西也比较多```