issue185 马上考试了，请多多指教

sky2007UID: 2206968

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 530          TIME: 上午 12:40:00          DATE: 2007-1-30
Should scandals be useful in that foucusing our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could?In asserting the role that scandals plays in the process of realizing the genuine truth  undrelies the surface, the author made a good point that scandals indeed serve to highlight the problems which may be masked by other things. In my point of vew, On the one side,I agree that scandals occasionally focus our attention on problems that would otherwise be neglected.On the other side, however, undued emphasizing our attention and energy on scandals can result in bouts and would be a waste.
On the one hand, in this era of high technology and modernization, competion in every field, coving from politics an academics, is unprecedentedly fierce.While people are busily engaged in their own business, they seldom have the time and energy spared to pay attention to the events that is outside that own circles in their daily life.It is the scandals that emerges in other fields that makes people to switch their attention from their own business and pay attention to  it and start to think about the cause of the scandals and how to solve the problems that underlies it.Take the professor of MIT who used faked datas to publish his articles for example.This scanmake people inquire"why is that distinguised professor do such a indecent deed ?" Therefore, people start to investigate into the event and thereby some already exsiting problems in the academic field being found.This kind of scandal is necessary for the reason that it makes people focusing on the urgent problems that otherwise not being settled and would lead to more serious results in a cirtain field, and then some good ideas could be put forth to settle the problem.
On the other hand, overdued emphasis on the scandals could lead to a waste , not only of money but also of energy. Take the sex scandals between the former US president Clinton and the white house intern Lewinsky.People are too obsessed with the details of the event  and accuse the president of the not exerting a good exmaple as the leader of the country. However, whey they were busily and enthusiasticly judging the president for the scanals, they seems to fogot the great contribution the president had made to the nation's economy, and his outlandishing performance in the international affairs, and so on. In fact,all of these could doubtlessly be sufficient evidence that Clinton is a qualified and competent president. And the result of people's scrutiny into the scandals end up as nothing contribute to the welfare and the development of the nation.In a word, undued focus on scandals is meaningless and would make people waste their energy ,the society waste its resouces in the bouts and ignore what turns out to be more cared for.
To sum up, scandals indeed lend a hand in focusing people's attention on the problems that would otherwised be ignored , and then sound suggestion to the problems could be made to imporve the issue.Yet, this does not necessary means that the undued attention on the scandals is of benefits.Undued attention on scandals , which is a waste of time and would switch our attention from things that are deserved more attention.

siyuandingUID: 2154137

怎么看你的用户名这么眼熟！

siyuandingUID: 2154137

Should scandals be useful in that foucusing our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could?In asserting the role that scandals plays in the process of realizing the genuine truth  undrelies the surface, the author made a good point that scandals indeed serve to highlight the problems which may be masked by other things. In my point of vew, On the one side,I agree that scandals occasionally focus our attention on problems that would otherwise be neglected.On the other side, however, undued emphasizing our attention and energy on scandals can result in bouts and would be a waste.

On the one hand, in this era of high technology and modernization, competion in every field, coving from politics an academics, is unprecedentedly fierce.[段落开头应主题句明确，特别是body1，此句可以移放第二句讲]While people are busily engaged in their own business, they seldom have the time and energy spared to pay attention to the events that is outside that own circles in their daily life.It is the scandals that emerges in other fields that makes people to switch their attention from their own business and pay attention to  it and start to think about the cause of the scandals and how to solve the problems that underlies it.Take the professor of MIT who used faked datas to publish his articles for example.This scanmake people inquire"why is that distinguised professor do such a indecent deed ?" Therefore, people start to investigate into the event and thereby some already exsiting problems in the academic field being found.[这个例子讲得不够具体，没有说服力，还不如不举，有凑字数之嫌]This kind of scandal is necessary for the reason that it makes people focusing on the urgent problems that otherwise not being settled and would lead to more serious results in a cirtain field, and then some good ideas could be put forth to settle the problem.[段末句是应该总结，但和前面开头断地描述一样，显得很呆板，之所以这样，我觉是你的段落展开没到位，也就是你没有将“scandal的好”深入分析下去]

On the other hand, overdued emphasis on the scandals could lead to a waste , not only of money but also of energy. [就像这样，有主题句引领全段]Take the sex scandals between the former US president Clinton and the white house intern Lewinsky.People are too obsessed with the details of the event  and accuse the president of the not exerting a good exmaple as the leader of the country. However, whey they were busily and enthusiasticly judging the president for the scanals, they seems to fogot the great contribution the president had made to the nation's economy, and his outlandishing performance in the international affairs, and so on.[好，这个例子很具体，使大家都明白你在讲什么] In fact,all of these could doubtlessly be sufficient evidence that Clinton is a qualified and competent president. And the result of people's scrutiny into the scandals end up as nothing contribute to the welfare and the development of the nation.[很好，这是深入一层了，由“scandal不能全盘否定某人”到“不适当的scandal可能会导致政治纷争和资源浪费”。如果能再通过说理将这句展开下去，那就漂亮了，举个例子也行]In a word, undued focus on scandals is meaningless and would make people waste their energy ,the society waste its resouces in the bouts and ignore what turns out to be more cared for.[段末句还是一样的问题]
[虽然坛子上很多你这样，body只有两段，我也不知ETS是怎么想的，但我个人觉得，还是主题段三段比较好！当然这需要更深入地分析题目]

To sum up, scandals indeed lend a hand in focusing people's attention on the problems that would otherwised be ignored , and then sound suggestion to the problems could be made to imporve the issue.Yet, this does not necessary means that the undued attention on the scandals is of benefits.Undued attention on scandals , which is a waste of time and would switch our attention from things that are deserved more attention.
[很快就要考了吧，别气馁！写得很好的，保守估计这样的文章4分没问题，加油！]

[ 本帖最后由 siyuanding 于 2007-1-31 12:54 编辑 ]

siyuandingUID: 2154137

有空的话，帮我也看一篇，谢谢

issue4     https://bbs.gter.net/thread-596877-1-1.html