Argument147 继续盼被揍揍 恭迎贵府砖头～×^^×

sylvie0211UID: 2296270

第一次Argument作业， 请狠狠的拍到晕最好～～～～

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

1 调查中表示画面作为首选的人不一定是10到25岁的目标消费者
2 玩家表示喜欢高画质的不代表他们的游戏设备可以支持高画质的游戏要求
3 10到25岁消费者也不具有很强的消费能力，不能使W公司视频游戏销量大幅提升
4 W公司的销售量下滑可能是因为其它原因比如价格过高，剧情老套，如果是这样就算提高了画质也未必能吸引消费者。

The editorial concludes that Whirlwind(W) are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. That assumption based on a survey which asked video-game players the most important factor in video game. And players prefer games with lifelike graphics and W just have several such games will be introduced. On the other hand, W will hold an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. Hence the arguer believes that W can get a increase in selling the games. It seems convincing at the first glance nevertheless it has several flaws as following.

First, the survey lack information to tell us the proportion of the attended player's age. It has the possibility that more 90% join in this survey is older than 25 years old and those players love perfect graphic which 10 to 25 years old players are not interested. In that case, even broad and powerful advertising campaign couldn't make an increase in selling. Even if 10 to 25 years old players like the three new games produced by W, they might not have the consume ability to buy them since most of the people age during 10 to 25 are still in school but not earning money.

At the second place, the players prefer lifelike graphics games which depend on the most up-to-date computers to run. So the question is: are those player have such a computer or decide to have one? Perhaps many of the players are just like those games but not have a high technology computer and also don not want to change the situation.

The last but not the least, the arguer simply attribute the sales of W's video games decline is because the not lifelike feature. Obviously the arguer ignores a variety of other factors, which also play major roles. For instance, many players immerse a game with its interesting story, some players pay more attention to the game's music, and might player decide not to buy W's game when they see the high price, etc. Without role out those possibilities, the conclusion that since sell the games with lifelike graphics will increase the sales is unwarranted.

In conclusion, the argument is ill conceived and poorly stand. The arguer has to give more evidence that the players whose age between 10 and 25 are most like great graphics games and have ability to buy them. And the arguer also have to attest that the graphic lover have up-to-date computer to play. The last thing the arguer must to do is to give us more evidence to testify that the not good graphics is the only reason why the sales declined over the last two years.

[ 本帖最后由 sylvie0211 于 2007-2-2 19:34 编辑 ]

bluexilegtUID: 2262692

Argument147 继续盼被揍揍 恭迎贵府砖头～×^^×
第一次Argument作业， 请狠狠的拍到晕最好～～～～
147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
1 调查中表示画面作为首选的人不一定是10到25岁的目标消费者
2 玩家表示喜欢高画质的不代表他们的游戏设备可以支持高画质的游戏要求
3 10到25岁消费者也不具有很强的消费能力，不能使W公司视频游戏销量大幅提升
4 W公司的销售量下滑可能是因为其它原因比如价格过高，剧情老套，如果是这样就算提高了画质也未必能吸引消费者。
The editorial concludes that Whirlwind(W)[产品销量] are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. That assumption based on a survey which asked video-game players the most important factor in video game. And players prefer games with lifelike graphics and W just have several such games will be introduced. On the other hand, W will hold an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. Hence[学到一好词] the arguer believes that W can get a increase in selling the games. It seems convincing at the first glance nevertheless it has several flaws as following.
First, the survey lack information[lack可以这样用吗，疑问] to tell us the proportion of the attended player's age. It has the possibility that more 90% join in this survey is older than 25 years old and those players love perfect graphic which[这里用个while对比比从句更好，个人认为] 10 to 25 years old players are not interested. In that case, even broad and powerful advertising campaign couldn't make an increase in selling. Even if 10 to 25 years old players like the three new games produced by W, they might not have the consume ability to buy them since most of the people age during 10 to 25 are still in school but not earning money.[感觉这里这么讲不地道，不过我也只会这样写。。]
At the second place, the players prefer lifelike graphics games which depend on the most up-to-date computers to run. So the question is: are those player have such a computer or decide[前面不是有are吗？] to have one? Perhaps many of the players are just like those games but not have a high technology computer and also don not want to change the situation.
The last but not the least[又学到了], the arguer simply attribute the sales of W's video games decline is because[attribute to] the not lifelike[不lifelike这样写好像不对] feature. Obviously the arguer ignores a variety of other factors, which also play major roles. For instance, many players immerse a game with its interesting story, some players pay more attention to the game's music, and might player decide not to buy W's game when they see the high price, etc. Without role out[学习好词，以前只会provide] those possibilities, the conclusion that since sell the games with lifelike graphics will increase the sales is unwarranted[that后是从句吗？有点不通].
In conclusion, the argument is ill conceived and poorly stand[学习ing]. The arguer has to give more evidence that the players whose age between 10 and 25 are most like great graphics games and have ability to buy them. And the arguer also have to attest that the graphic lover have up-to-date computer to play. The last thing the arguer must to do is to give us more evidence to testify that the not good graphics is the only reason why the sales declined over the last two years.
[终于可以看到属于“自己人”写的文章了！！觉得仿佛是在看自己写的文章，以前看过一些充满不认识单词的文章实在不敢斗胆去改。超级欣赏lz 用简洁的语言写东西。我觉得文章的逻辑和结构才是王道。可能词藻可以锦上添花吧，这点我们还要努很多力。
什么复数要加s的问题还有可能由于时间问题有个别句子不通这里就不讲了。个人觉得lz和我一样有些句子有点不地道。。。这个是个问题。另外你的用词比我牛多了，我顶多是两个同义词换着用用. 今天学到不少用词的东西，十分感谢～～关于这个题目，我发现我好像没有讲公司以前业绩不好的原因问题，现在觉得漏了个大问题，不过我觉得这个调查问题可以多讲讲，它问题好像挺大的。上面这些都可以讨论，只是我个人意见，讲的不好不要打我～～]

[ 本帖最后由 bluexilegt 于 2007-2-3 15:40 编辑 ]