arguement147 【076G－背水一战小组】第一小组skysijie第一次作业

SkysijieUID: 2233317

原来发的被关了，只好重发一次了。。。
Argue147:
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales ofWhirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recentsurvey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about tobe reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features theythought were most important in a video game. According to the survey,players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require themost up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several suchgames with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. Itfollows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely toincrease dramatically in the next few months."

1.10-25岁是play games，而在很大程度上不会是最主要的消费购买群体
1)他们可以从网上免费下载
2)因为没有足够的钱只能买盗版的游戏
3)从买游戏的朋友那儿借

2.有大范围的广告并不能说明销售率能够提升
1）广告太乏味而不能吸引玩家的注意
2）广告恰好在人们工作时间播放
3）玩家并不会仅仅通过一个广告就花钱购买游戏

3．就算10－25的玩家能提高销售量，并且广告也很吸引人，还应该注意市场上的竞争
1）其他商家的游戏更吸引玩家
2）与其他商家的游戏相比，W的游戏缺点太多
3) 售后服务没有其他商家好

words:421


The argument iswell-presented, but not perfectly well-reasoned. By illustrate therelation of the sale condition of Whirlwind (W), the trend is about toreversed even though it has reduced over the past two years, and theneeds of game players, who insist that vivid graphic is the mostessential a perfect game should provide. The author's assert about thesales of W' games are likely to increase seems logical.

However, many people,including myself, feel uncertain about the assumption, which decide thesales of W’s video game will raise because of the game is aimed atyoung adults aged from 10 to 25. There is no doubt that people, 10-25years old, take their leisure time more than other aged. Perhaps theydownload games from Internet for free, or perhaps they buy a piratedgame duo to have insufficient money, or perhaps they borrow the gamefrom their friends who sell it. It is still a question that people agedfrom 10 to 25 have contribution to raise the sale of W's video games ina short time.

An extensive advertisingcampaign is not a credible reason to assert the sale will reverse.Firstly and probably the most important I have to point out is that W’sadvertisement is too vapidity to attract players’ interests, perhaps.Secondly, perhaps the ad is played rightly in people’s working time. Orperhaps players have no habit to buy a video game only through an ad.So, a higher sales volume cannot only due to a fulfilled ad.

Even though I admit thatyoung adults and teenagers can enhance the sale of W’s game and theirextensive ad indeed attracts too many players to buy the product, theauthor ignores an important fact- the games made by W have to challengeother brand in the market. Probably the video games made by othercompany are more interested to game players. Or maybe compared withother firm’ products, W's games have too many disadvantages. Orperhaps, the post sale service cannot address custom’s needs comparedwith other cooperate’ service.
                                                                                                        
Overall, the conclusion ofthe sale will revered in a few months cannot convince me only by reasonthat W hasan advertised video games face to players, who are 10 to 25years old. Before I know the information about what the quality ofother video games, and how the players’ response to the extensive ad,and what are the characteristics of W’s product, I cannot draw anyconclusion about the tendency of W’s sales.

uniqueguyUID: 2183043

The argument is well presented, but not perfectly well reasoned. By illustrate the relation of the sale condition of Whirlwind (W), the trend is about to reversed even though it has reduced over the past two years, and the needs of game players, who insist that vivid graphic is the most essential a perfect game should provide.这句看不懂，从句有问题 The author's assert assertion about the sales of W' games are likely to increase seems logical. 个人觉得没必要先对文章进行肯定However, many people, including myself, feel uncertain about the assumption, which decide claims the sales of W’s video game games will raise increase because of the game is games are aimed at young adults aged from 10 to 25. There is no doubt that people, 10-25years old, take their leisure time more than other aged 看不懂. Perhaps they download games from Internet for free, or perhaps they buy a pirated game duo to have insufficient money, or perhaps they borrow the game from their friends who sell it. 估计ets的rater们不会理解，美国好像没有盗版，一般游戏也不能免费download，你最好改一改 It is still a question that people aged from 10 to 25 have contribution to raise the sale of W's video games in a short time.An extensive advertising campaign is not a credible reason to assert the sale will reverse. 两段之间要过渡一下Firstly and probably the most important thing I have to point out is that W’s advertisement is too vapidity to attract players’ interests, perhaps. Secondly, perhaps the ad is played rightly in people’s working time. Or perhaps players have no habit to buy a video game only through an ad. So, a higher sales volume cannot only due to a fulfilled ad.Even though I admit that young adults and teenagers can enhance the sale of W’s game and their extensive ad indeed attracts too too不要many players to buy the product, the author ignores an important fact- the games made by W have to challenge other brand brands in the market. Probably the video games made by other company companies are more interested interesting to game players. Or maybe compared with to other firm’ products, W's games have too many disadvantages. Or perhaps, the post sale service cannot address custom’s needs compared with other cooperate’ service.                                                                                                        Overall, the conclusion of the sale will revered in a few months cannot convince me only by reason that W has an advertised video games face to players用face不妥, who are 10 to 25years old. Before I know the information about what the quality of other video games, and how the players’ response to the extensive ad, and what are the characteristics of W’s product, I cannot draw any conclusion about the tendency of W’s sales.

要注意一下名词单复数的选择，每个分论点的最后可以用一句话总结一下，说明argument是有误的。

SkysijieUID: 2233317

美国有没有盗版这事我还真没有考虑到。。。谢谢修改：）