【天下无G askme习作】第14次作业 请教如何语言简洁

askmeUID: 2264776

TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS: 777          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-2-19

Ever since humans came into being, people have pursued the unknown persistently, whether in mysterious method or by means of science. It, hence, of causes debates and most of them are over the issue: whether or not such nonmainstream areas of inquiry play a vital role in society by satifying human demands. In my opinion, while such inquiry exerts a certain positive influence on humans insofar as they meet a certain human needs and provide material for science, nowadays, it will be more and more insignificant and, even, harmful to us.

To begin with, when science is premature, some nonmainstream areas accumulate necessary materials and ideas for science, which satisfies our curiosity indirectly. As we know, just like science, which is based on observance and logical thinking, people on nonmainstream areas also observe, do experiments and deduce. On the way to maturity, nonmainstream areas gradually form their own systematic theory and relieve our desire to pursue the unknown. As a result of the similarity between science and nonmainstream areas, much theory and materials in nonmainstream areas can be directly changed into science knowledge. For supporting examples, one need look no further than astrology. Since both astrology, which is nonmainstream and astronomy, which is science, requires researchers to observe the position and brightness of stars, many excellent experts on astronomy cited much observance materials left by astrologists, which accelerated the development of astronomy. Were it not for astrology, scientists today would have to do such time-consuming work again. In a dissimilar way, augur gave a hand to foundation and development of psychology. For example, when we turned to an augur for help, he or she will answer our questions according our emotions, behaviors and appearance. In this process, he or she developed the method to gain an insight into our mind, which is quite similar with psychology. Especially in China, augurs discovered a mysterious method to explain dreams; likewise, Freud, a famous psychologist, devoted all his life to the same thing. It is a source of knowledge and materials for psychology that augur serve as. In a word, although augur and astrology appear quite different, they are both nonmainstream areas, which lent strong support to the formation of science in the past.

Furthermore, some nonmainstream areas are complementary to science in satisfying varieties of demands. It is universally acknowledged that while science is a strict and objective subject, it is, sometimes, too rigid to properly serve people's demands, such as the curiosity for ends of lives, fear of mystery and so on. In the contrast, some nonmainstream areas have no such frameworks and thus are able to satisfy people's demands specially.  This statement brings to minds augury. When faced with difficulty, there is no one but have a burning desire to know the future of oneself. Yet, scientists claim that there is not enough evidence to provide an absolute and assured answer, which causes fear and sadness. Under this circumstance, augur plays an important role in providing a sense of safety and alleviating these people. Were it not for augur, perhaps there would be much more patients in psychology hospital. In other words, these nonmainstream areas solve the problems that science cannot deal with directly and immediately.

However, with science developing, the status of these nonmainstream areas is becoming more and more insignificant nowadays. Generally speaking, it is science that gives us both sound and true knowledge. The more science knowledge we have, the more problems and contradictions we find in these nonmainstream areas. If we cast a look back at astrology, we might find that many people on astrology asserted that every star stood for a person on earth and that we could infer the fortune of a person from how this star move. However, interesting as it sounds, we find that the number of stars is much larger than population on earth, which drives astrology into an embarrassed situation. As a result, this example is used to point out that the more area that science discovers, the less reliability these nonmainstream areas have.

At the even worse, harnessed by some malefactors, these nonmainstream areas are harmful from time to time. There is no denying that these nonmainstream areas are able to drive ration out of people's minds so as to control them and force them to do some silly and even diabolical deeds. For example, some religions like Fa Lun Gong in China, harnessed by Li, became a tool to go against government and killed lots of people, which is harmful for both individuals and society. In all, when used in inappropriate way, these nonmainstream areas might greatly threaten our lives.

To sum up, while, in the past, nonmainstream areas played a significant role for science and individuals, nowadays, it is insignificant and even harmful. Therefore, we should deal with it properly and enhance our belief in science.

[ 本帖最后由 askme 于 2007-2-19 23:13 编辑 ]

jacanaUID: 2292520

Ever since humans came into being, people have pursued the unknown persistently, whether in mysterious method or by means of science. It, hence, of causes debates and most of them are over the issue: whether or not such nonmainstream areas of inquiry play a vital role in society by satifying human demands. In my opinion, while such inquiry exerts a certain positive influence on humans insofar as they meet a certain human needs and provide material for science, nowadays, it will be more and more insignificant and, even, harmful to us.最后一句的转折没有用任何连接词阿

To begin with, when science is premature, some nonmainstream areas accumulate necessary materials and ideas for science, which satisfies our curiosity indirectly. As we know, just like science, which is based on observance and logical thinking, people on nonmainstream areas also observe, do experiments and deduce. On the way to maturity, nonmainstream areas gradually form their own systematic theory and relieve our desire to pursue the unknown. As a result of the similarity between science and nonmainstream areas, much theory and materials in nonmainstream areas can be directly changed into science knowledge. For supporting examples, one need look no further than astrology. Since both astrology, which is nonmainstream and astronomy, which is science, requires researchers to observe the position and brightness of stars（个人觉得这句话容易引起歧义）, many excellent experts on astronomy cited much observance materials left by astrologists, which accelerated the development of astronomy. Were it not for astrology, scientists today would have to do such time-consuming work again. In a dissimilar way, augur gave a hand to foundation and development of psychology. For example, when we turned to an augur for help, he or she will answer our questions according our emotions, behaviors and appearance. In this process, he or she developed the method to gain an insight into our mind, which is quite similar with psychology. Especially in China, augurs discovered a mysterious method to explain dreams; likewise, Freud, a famous psychologist, devoted all his life to the same thing. It is a source of knowledge and materials for psychology that augur serve as. In a word, although augur and astrology appear quite different, they are both nonmainstream areas, which lent strong support to the formation of science in the past.（后一部分有个逻辑错误哈，心理学真的是以看相这些为基础嘛？时间先后但无因果阿）

Furthermore, some nonmainstream areas are complementary to science in satisfying varieties of demands. It is universally acknowledged that while science is a strict and objective subject, it is, sometimes, too rigid to properly serve people's demands, such as the curiosity for ends of lives, fear of mystery and so on. In the contrast, some nonmainstream areas have no such frameworks and thus are able to satisfy people's demands specially.  This statement brings to minds augury. When faced with difficulty, there is no one but have a burning desire to know the future of oneself. Yet, scientists claim that there is not enough evidence to provide an absolute and assured answer, which causes fear and sadness. Under this circumstance, augur plays an important role in providing a sense of safety and alleviating these people. Were it not for augur, perhaps there would be much more patients in psychology hospital. In other words, these nonmainstream areas solve the problems that science cannot deal with directly and immediately.
(现在解决了么？)



However, with science developing, the status of these nonmainstream areas is becoming more and more insignificant nowadays. Generally speaking, it is science that gives us both sound and true knowledge. The more science knowledge we have, the more problems and contradictions we find in these nonmainstream areas. If we cast a look back at astrology, we might find that many people on astrology asserted that every star stood for a person on earth and that we could infer the fortune of a person from how this star move. However, interesting as it sounds, we find that the number of stars is much larger than population on earth, which drives astrology into an embarrassed（embarrassing） situation. As a result, this example is used to point out that the more area that science discovers, the less reliability these nonmainstream areas have.

At the even worse, harnessed by some malefactors, these nonmainstream areas are harmful from time to time. There is no denying that these nonmainstream areas are able to drive ration out of people's minds so as to control them and force them to do some silly and even diabolical deeds. For example, some religions like Fa Lun Gong in China, harnessed by Li, became a tool to go against government and killed lots of people, which is harmful for both individuals and society. In all, when used in inappropriate way, these nonmainstream areas might greatly threaten our lives.(这个例子不好，不管政治上的问题，XX功在美国人那里应该算宗教，不属于nonmainstream)

To sum up, while, in the past, nonmainstream areas played a significant role for science and individuals, nowadays, it is insignificant and even harmful. Therefore, we should deal with it properly and enhance our belief in science.

我觉得你写的多只是因为你打字快，而且考虑比较周全……思路清楚， 论证也很清晰。要减的话就把body1后一部分心理学那块删掉，反正前后同义重复。
你句子还有用词一直很好啊，用词准确。鉴于自身语法水平不佳，就不敢贸然挑错了
不过我有两个疑问：1 如果你按科学发展，也就是时间顺序来区分非主流的作用，但body2的内容在时间上应该是可以延续到现在的。
                             2 我其实不太清楚，是不是应该区别非主流和宗教呢？解释人的死亡这些应该是宗教的作用……

bingbingxieminUID: 2283852

re～～～askme打字暴快啊。。。我上限就是630。
另外，我之前问过好像宗教不能算作非主流，我的issue41写得巨烂，是刚开始写作的时候就写了。当时问了牛人，好像说是宗教不能用来做例子。。。

jacanaUID: 2292520

Since both astrology, which is nonmainstream and astronomy, which is science, requires researchers to observe the position and brightness of stars

其实就是觉得断句有点奇怪which is nonmainstream and astronomy, which is science