issue208,还有5天，有拍必回

nyly814UID: 2223919

还有5天就考了，还是没有感觉，字数应该没有问题，但内容很空洞，单词也很贫乏。
欢迎大家来拍，给点意见，有拍必回



题目：ISSUE 208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
字数：548          用时：0:41:22          日期：2007-3-9

The speaker asserts that it is by observing the appearance and behavior of its people that people can tell much about a society's ideas and values. While I agree with partly that in certain case, a society's ideas and values could be told by observing the appearance and behavior of its people, whose attitudes and interests are revealed by the way people look, dress, and act, in most time, we should not judge a society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.


Admittedly, the appearance and behavior of a society's people reflect partly the society's ideas and values. Because the stability of the great and fundamental basis of a society partly bases on the well-being, attitudes, and interests, thus, sometimes, we can tell something about a society's ideas and values by the appearance and behavior of its population. Moreover, the success of a society need the cooperative effort of its population, and the civilization of the society must depend on good attitude and healthy interests of its people. Were a society's people in bad attitudes to the structure of their society and unhealthy interests, we can tell much about a society's bad ideas and values.

However, that is not to say that we could decide the society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. We should judge a society's ideas and values by other respects, and if we tell all about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its population, we would take some mistakes. Through our history review, conclusion can be drawn empirically for the history is replete with supporting examples, the Jewish holocaust , which was carried out by Hitler and his government. It is because of the bad judgment that Hitler and his government told the society's ideas and values observing the appearance and behavior of Jewish that he thought the Jewish were short and thus regarded the Jewish as the unable. Surely, it is only by observing the appearance and behavior of the society's people, that Hitler brought out the inhumanity's most atrocity.

Moreover, the way people look dress, and act only reveals individual's attitude and interest, which could not reflect the attitudes and interests of all people in the society. Did we only observe the appearance and behavior of a part of the population in the society, we would not get the information about the society's ideas and values. For example, we often observe the people who have the great fame and fortune, then we would only tell much about the ideas and values of the elite in the society. On balance, we can not tell much about a society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.

To sum up, the world around us presents a seamless web of physical and anthropogenic forces, which interact in ways that could be understood only in the context of a variety of respects. And the same to the judgment of the society. While the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests, we should still tell much about a society's ideas and values not only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people, also ultimately by a marriage between and other respects.

[ 本帖最后由 nyly814 于 2007-3-9 20:41 编辑 ]

nyly814UID: 2223919

自己顶一下

alex_leeUID: 2227596

The speaker asserts that it is by observing the appearance and behavior of its people that people can tell much about a society's ideas and values. While I agree with partly that in certain case, a society's ideas and values could be told by observing the appearance and behavior of its people, whose attitudes and interests are revealed by the way people look, dress, and act, in most time, we should not judge a society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. （should not 不应该放在开头，开头并与直接准确回应原题，appearance and behavior of individuals能不能反应社会，或者说只是反应社会的很多东西的一种）


Admittedly, the appearance and behavior of a society's people reflect partly the society's ideas and values. Because the stability of the great and fundamental basis of a society partly bases on the well-being, attitudes, and interests, thus, sometimes, we can tell something about a society's ideas and values by the appearance and behavior of its population （这句前后有因果关系吗？尝试分析的再透彻一些）. Moreover, the success of a society need the cooperative effort of its population, and the civilization of the society must depend on good attitude and healthy interests of its people. Were a society's people in bad attitudes to the structure of their society and unhealthy interests, we can tell much about a society's bad ideas and values. （这段论证很贫乏，基本都是空洞的话，推荐你看一下这篇文章https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=170897&extra=page%3D1%26amp%3Bfilter%3Dtype%26amp%3Btypeid%3D53）

However, that is not to say that we could decide the society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. We should judge a society's ideas and values by other respects, and if we tell all about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its population, we would take some mistakes. （一二句有点重复，不如合并一下，we should not, or else ） Through our history review, conclusion can be drawn empirically for the history is replete with supporting examples, the Jewish holocaust , which was carried out by Hitler and his government. It is because of the bad judgment that Hitler and his government told the society's ideas and values observing the appearance and behavior of Jewish that he thought the Jewish were short and thus regarded the Jewish as the unable. Surely, it is only by observing the appearance and behavior of the society's people, that Hitler brought out the inhumanity's most atrocity.  （这个Hitler例子相信对绝大多数人没有说服力的，屠犹原因仅仅是因为they are short? They’re short只是一个借口）

Moreover, the way people look dress, and act only reveals individual's attitude and interest, which could not reflect the attitudes and interests of all people in the society. Did we only observe the appearance and behavior of a part of the population in the society （这样的句式总让我觉得别扭啊，前面也有，请检查一下是否正确）, we would not get the information about the society's ideas and values. For example, we often observe the people who have the great fame and fortune, then we would only tell much about the ideas and values of the elite in the society. On balance, we can not tell much about a society's ideas and values only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. (建议这一段和上一段交换次序，有个逻辑上的递进。)

To sum up, the world around us presents a seamless web of physical and anthropogenic forces, which interact in ways that could be understood only in the context of a variety of respects. And the same to the judgment of the society. While the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests, we should still tell much about a society's ideas and values not only by observing the appearance and behavior of its people, also ultimately by a marriage between and other respects.

写不出东西，是因为你的素材不够，想不到恰当的例子。
对TS的论证，单薄，是因为没有很好掌握论证的技巧。
多想比多写重要多了。
加油！我21号考。