Argument117 卖家庭办公用品，欢迎来拍！

PrudenceUID: 2286952

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 399          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2007-4-3

Based on a series of specious evidence, the author dreams that the most profitable component of their stores would be their office-supply departments. I suggest the author to think twice before take a step.

To begin with, the study itself is problematic in several respects, and cannot supply any trustable evidence. How many people were studied? How many people reported? These two questions are key points for us to judge whether the study is a reliable one or not. If 500 people were asked to do this report, however only no more than 50 people gave their answers, this report would be unreliable at all. Moreover, people about 450 who did not answer may think this report was ridiculous, since they never thought that they should go on work when work's time was over. In addition, I wonder whether the respondents are representative. If they belong to a same company, the result of the survey would be unreliable and only can be applied towards the workers of this company.  

Even if the trend of taking more work home indeed exist, should the manager's department increase the stock of home office machines? I suggest the manager should make out what job workers usually take home to do. If they just need call their clients to keep in touch or read contracts, it is unnecessary to increase the stock. Again, if they should use printers, small copy machines and so forth, they entirely can use them when at work, and only take some easily handled work home. Without ruling out these possibilities, the manager would risk at increasing the stock.

Even assuming workers need these home office machines greatly, we still cannot foresee that manager's department would be the most profitable. On one hand, buying these home office machines would cost workers lots of money. Maybe, even if they need these machines at home and plan to buy, however, concerning the expensive prices, they give up this plan. Thus, money is still in workers' pockets. Besides, now computers are becoming more and more popular, and many people would but computers very soon from computer department of the author's stores, and selling computer maybe much more profitable than selling home office machines. Thus, the most profitable department would be computer department, not the manager's department.

In conclusion, without supplying enough evidence, the manager's assertion is equal to a pure fiction, and unconvincing at all.

weleeqianUID: 2286332

Based on a series of specious evidence, the author dreams [hastily assumes] that the most profitable component of their stores [Valu-mart] would be their office-supply departments. I suggest the author to think twice before take a step. [前文未提到Step所以最好不好这样说。这个开头不好，都不知道怎么自圆其说了。。。改一下based on... the author hastily assumes that... after the action of stocking more ..... Obviously, he commits several logical flaws as i discussed below.]

To begin with, the study itself is problematic in several respects, and cannot supply [provide] any trustable evidence [for the author's assumption/suggestion]. [少了连接 To make an study trustful, the author should have answer in his argument the following two questions.] How many people were studied? [and] How many people reported[respond]? [answers to] These two questions are key points for us to judge whether the study is a reliable one or not. If 500 people were asked to do this report, however only no more than 50 people gave their answers, this report would be unreliable at all. Moreover, people about 450 who did not answer may think this report was ridiculous, since they never thought that they should go on work when work's time was over. In addition, I wonder whether the respondents are representative. If they belong to a same company, the result of the survey would be unreliable and only can be applied towards the workers of this company.  
建议你去看看范文``````不管是北美还是官方
最近就要考了，没有太多时间改，请原谅，等考完了再帮你看吧

Even if the trend of taking more work home indeed exist, should the manager's department increase the stock of home office machines? I suggest the manager should make out what job workers usually take home to do. If they just need call their clients to keep in touch or read contracts, it is unnecessary to increase the stock. Again, if they should use printers, small copy machines and so forth, they entirely can use them when at work, and only take some easily handled work home. Without ruling out these possibilities, the manager would risk at increasing the stock.

Even assuming workers need these home office machines greatly, we still cannot foresee that manager's department would be the most profitable. On one hand, buying these home office machines would cost workers lots of money. Maybe, even if they need these machines at home and plan to buy, however, concerning the expensive prices, they give up this plan. Thus, money is still in workers' pockets. Besides, now computers are becoming more and more popular, and many people would but computers very soon from computer department of the author's stores, and selling computer maybe much more profitable than selling home office machines. Thus, the most profitable department would be computer department, not the manager's department.

In conclusion, without supplying enough evidence, the manager's assertion is equal to a pure fiction, and unconvincing at all.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

Based on a series of specious evidence, the author dreams (这个词有点夸张) that the most profitable component of their stores would be their office-supply departments. I suggest the author to (去掉) think twice before take (taking) a step.

To begin with, the study itself is problematic in several respects, and cannot supply any trustable evidence. How many people were studied? How many people reported? These two questions are key points for us to judge whether the study is a reliable one or not. If 500 people were asked to do this report, however only no more than 50 people gave their answers, this report would be unreliable at all. Moreover, people about 450 who did not answer may think this report was ridiculous, since they never thought that they should go on work when work's time was over.  (after their working time) In addition, I wonder whether the respondents are representative. If they belong to a same company, the result of the survey would be unreliable and only can be applied towards the workers of this company.  

Even if the trend of taking more work home indeed exist, should the manager's department increase the stock of home office machines? I suggest the manager should make out what job workers usually take home to do. If they just need (to) call their clients to keep in touch or read contracts, it is unnecessary to increase the stock. Again, if they should (去掉) use printers, small copy machines and so forth, they entirely can use them when at work (workpalce), and only take some easily handled work home. Without ruling out these possibilities, the manager would risk at increasing the stock.

Even assuming workers need these home office machines greatly, we still cannot foresee that manager's department would be the most profitable (one). On one hand, buying these home office machines would cost workers lots of money. Maybe, even if they need these machines at home and plan to buy, however, concerning the expensive prices, they give up this plan. Thus, money is still in workers' pockets. Besides, now computers are becoming more and more popular, and many people would but (buy) computers very soon from computer (the) department of the author's stores, and selling computer maybe much more profitable than selling home office machines. Thus, the most profitable department would be computer department, not the manager's department.

In conclusion, without supplying enough evidence, the manager's assertion is equal to a pure fiction, and unconvincing at all.

分析很有条理，不过还是那句话，用英语来思考，不要用中文的逻辑去写作文，也建议研究一下范文！！继续努力！！