issue43 倒数三天 已修改

dennis1230UID：2247126

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 547        

In order to be an effective leader, must a public official own the highest ethical and moral standards, as the speaker asserts? And what is the best choice between the highest ethical and moral standards and an distinguished capability of leadership? In my point of view, for one thing, what is important of a leader is a quality of high ethical and moral; for another thing, it is also significant that a leader should possess a capability of leadership.

First of all, it is no doubt that a leader with the highest ethical and moral standards is more likely to obtain the support of people and even win the respect of his or her opponents. If we cast a look back at history of human beings, there is an eternal thesis about heroes' obligation, confidence, honest and so forth, from an avalanche stories and legends. Since a large amount of people are spurring by their leaders from ancient periods to nowadays, one is most likely to follow these leaders. When it comes to efficient aspect, if so, a public official may exerts the whole resource in the best effective measure.

In addition, without the fundamental ethical and moral standards, a leader is a tragedy of a nation, even a world. Compare a noble leader, an evil leader always brings serious hurt and harm to our world. For example, Adolph Hitler, as a tyrant of Germany during the World War II, was arbitrary to judge that German is better race than others of the world, especially Jewish. Under this arrogant and err command, numerous Jewish suffer from unbelievable pain or distress. Nor is it also not beneficial to Germans. Thus, to certain extent, a leader with high ethical and moral standards can result to a rapid development of society, or vice versa.

However, besides the ethical and moral standards, it is necessary to emphasize and underline other characters of a leader, such as creativity, intelligence, and so forth. In the rapid development of times, since that many opportunities will lose in a short time, leaders should make distinct and immediate decisions in time before the matter gets worse. In this case, decisions and judgment are the chief factors to consider rather than ethical standards. What is more, as a general rule, people select a leader in order to introduce their companies, even their country, but not merely to erect a good sample. If not, in not dissimilar way of supporting him/her, people own the right to fire such public official. On the other hand, in order to protect nation interests and safe, leaders have to cover their real ideas and purpose,  until the time is properly. In this case, they can not consider their honesty and other moral standards, because it relates to the country issue. This ability mentioned above belongs to distinguished leaders. In fact, there is good sense in emphasizing both ethical and moral standards and the capabilities of leadership, and these emphasis will benefit human beings, no matter in the realm of politic or civilization.

In conclusion, with high ethical and moral standards, leaders apparently will lead citizens and society to a glory future. On the other hand, with some outstanding leadership, leaders can win the eventual success. We should draw a balance between them.

有几个问题
1 在每段内的逻辑衔接总是做得不好，应该怎么做呢
2 在作文的时候，磕磕绊绊的，担心字数的同时，导致行文思路就没有了。。。


谢谢



[ 本帖最后由 dennis1230 于 2007-4-6 20:36 编辑 ]

superstar008UID：2318905

一般方法，每段：开头TS－－二，三句分析说理－－例子－－把例子与段主题联系－－总结。
你似乎在分析说理那里少了点。另外，这个观点最好可以做一些让步，比如不能一直说实话那题的观点可以放一个在里面，显得不那么绝对。

dennis1230UID：2247126

恩 我确实说理少了，逻辑思维欠缺阿
有时候想半天，也没想出来，呵呵

哦 对 那个观点可以用， 谢谢

iq28UID：2152875

In order to be an effective leader, must a public official own the highest ethical and moral standards, as the speaker asserts? And what is the best choice between the highest ethical and moral standards and an distinguished capability of leadership? (capability和那两个standard并不明显互相排斥啊?) In my point of view, for one thing, what is important of a leader is a quality of high ethical and moral; for another thing, it is also significant that a leader should possess a capability of leadership. (第一段两个问句有点罗唆.很简单的一个观念用了这么多话来说)

First of all, it is no doubt that a leader with the highest ethical and moral standards is more likely to obtain the support of people and even win the respect of his or her opponents. If we cast a look back at history of human beings, there is an eternal thesis about heroes' obligation, confidence, honest and so forth, from an avalanche stories and legends. Since a large amount of people are spurring by their leaders from ancient periods to nowadays, one is most likely to follow these leaders. When it comes to efficient aspect, (到这里才出现最让人挂念的efficient,晚了.虽然前面论证为什么会得到民众支持还算成功.但是民众支持和efficient之间的关系论证一点都没有.ts中间的opponents也没有提到) if so, a public official may exerts the whole resource in the best effective measure.

In addition, without the fundamental ethical and moral standards, a leader is (用将来时) a tragedy of a nation, even a world. Compare a noble leader, an evil leader always brings serious hurt and harm to our world. (基本是重复前面的观念) For example, Adolph Hitler, as a tyrant of Germany during the World War II, was arbitrary to judge that German is better race than others of the world, especially Jewish. Under this arrogant and err command, (始终不怎么觉得希特勒是道德伦理标准地下的典型) numerous Jewish suffer from unbelievable pain or distress. Nor is it also not beneficial to Germans. Thus, to certain extent, a leader with high ethical and moral standards can result to a rapid development of society, or vice versa. (虽然带来悲剧的领导人肯定不是effective,但仍然没有正面提到effective,感觉不是很好.)

However, besides the ethical and moral standards, it is necessary to emphasize and underline other characters of a leader, such as creativity, intelligence, and so forth. In the rapid development of times, since that many opportunities will lose in a short time, leaders should make distinct and immediate decisions in time before the matter gets worse. In this case, decisions and judgment are the chief factors to consider rather than ethical standards. (决断力这一层论证的不错) What is more, (两层之间看不出有什么递进关系) as a general rule, people select a leader in order to introduce their companies, even their country, but not merely to erect a good sample. (说清楚一点,good sample就是前面两个标准高的典型) If not, in not dissimilar way of supporting him/her, people own the right to fire such public official. (失败论证.没有说为什么会inefficient,只是说了这个样子会因为不被支持而被fire掉) On the other hand, (感觉你结构词乱用啊...这里前后不构成一个平行的关系的.你讲的三点不如用最老实的first second third清楚) in order to protect nation interests and safe, leaders have to cover their real ideas and purpose, until the time is properly. (点明了这个是和前面两个标准相违背的.这个可以另外开一个段落了,而且这个段落紧跟在第二个body后面会比较好.不要放在对于standard的补充body之后再来攻击standard) In this case, they can not consider their honesty and other moral standards, because it relates to the country issue. (讲的太模糊) This ability mentioned above belongs to distinguished leaders. (转折很生涩) In fact, there is good sense in emphasizing both ethical and moral standards and the capabilities of leadership, and these emphasis will benefit human beings, no matter in the realm of politic or civilization. (这种层次的总结基本应该放在结尾段落了)

In conclusion, with high ethical and moral standards, leaders apparently will lead citizens and society to a glory future. On the other hand, (不应该用这个词组,应该是补充类型的) with some outstanding leadership, leaders can win the eventual success. We should draw a balance between them. (两者不是互相排斥的)

ability和standard之间并不排斥
所以不应该讲成平衡类型
ability作为standard的补充或者相反standard作为ability的补充,这种思路可能更合理

speaklessUID：2205899

斑斑辛苦了~

dennis1230UID：2247126

辛苦斑竹了
看来这道题的思路没理好，段内逻辑性又这样。。。:(
刚开始想的是standard和ability是两个方向，应该综合考虑，写着写着就变成对立的感觉了