issue197 继续恶心，头晕。。。。

pippo1983UID: 172110

TOPIC: ISSUE197 - "The material progress and well-being of one country are necessarily connected to the material progress and well-being of all other countries."
WORDS: 768          TIME: 0:42:40          DATE: 2007-4-11

I disagree with this claim because of three reasons. First, the material progress and well-being of one country is usually associated with countries which are politically or economically connected to it, not 'all' other countries. Second, sometimes the development in one country is based on the sacrifice of interests of other countries. Thirdly, the domestic policies play a vital role in material progress and well-being.

To begin with, the degree of open and international politics determines that one country depends on other countries which have close diplomatic relation and economic trade with it. Take the economic development in China as an example. Before the establishment of diplomatism between China and western countries and the implement of open policy, the economy and material progress was dependent on a few communistic countries, especially the USSR. When the economy in the USSR was rising, the economy in China is developing faster, and vice versa. In contrast, as the relationship between China and the US is becoming closer, the material progress in China is tightly related to the economic progress in the US. The investment from the US and other western countries has become a main driving force of economic prowess in China. Now all Top 500 corporations in the world have their branches in China which created numerous job opportunities for Chinese people. Not only does China depend on the US to develop economy, but also provide low costs for these corporation which increase their profits. Economists nowadays reveal that the China and the US are at a win-win situation that progress in one lead to the increase in the other. China provides labors with low costs while the US provides funding and job opportunities for the large population in China. From this point of view, the material progress and well-being in one country are sometimes connected with others which have close relationship with it.

However, sometimes we can notice that the progress in one country needs to sacrifice the interests of other countries. After all, the international competence is always drastic as long as the resource in the Earth is limited. For example, in order to obtain more territory for national security, the Israel needs to invade Palestine and bring terror and suffering to people living there. Although the expansion benefits the well-being and material progress of citizens in Israel, the well-being of Palestinian decreases as a result. Furthermore, the competence not only happens in a form of war and military actions, but also in some peaceful ways. Some examples of trade conflicts substantiate this point. As we know, one of the most important issues of WTO negotiation is the subsidies of agriculture in the European Union. The tariff charged and subsidies provided by the EU decreases the price of agricultural products in other countries in the world market. As a result, farmers and peasants in other countries suffer a lot from the loss caused by the lower price. A Korean farmer even killed himself to show his protest and indignation of the unfair competence. But one the other hand, in order to protect the interests and living standards of farmers in the EU, the EU commission cannot simply reduce or annul the policy of subsidies. International conflicts in interests have been with human being for centuries and no doubt every government set priority for their own well-being. As long as this trend is not broken down, we will still often see the material progress in one country impair the benefits of another.

Furthermore, the well and material progress in a country sometimes are more likely to be determined by national policies rather than the progress in other countries. No matter how well the progress in other countries is, domestic policies play an essential role in its own development because the country is affected most by its intrinsic motivation. For instance, during the 60s and 70s, although the economy in many Asian countries like Japan and South Korea, the economy in China is chaotic because the Cultural Revolution. In contrast, in the financial crisis in the 1997, nearly all Asian countries suffered a lot while China was not large affected because of its policy of regulating currency exchange. National progress and well-being is often led by its own policy other than any foreign factors.

In sum, the claim that material progress and well-being in a country is necessarily connected with all other countries is not convincing. The development in a country may be affected by progress of other countries, negatively and positively. In addition, policies carried out by a country should be a crucial and dominant reason for one's well-being.

lliang82UID: 2311529

lz一天写几篇作文的说，咋看到的全是你的作文啊

pippo1983UID: 172110

。。。第一页只有一篇而已。。。
被恶心到了吧;d: ;d:
这两天每天3-4篇，受不了了~~

iq28UID: 2152875

I disagree with this claim because of three reasons. First, the material progress and well-being of one country is usually associated with countries which are politically or economically connected to it, not 'all' other countries. Second, sometimes the development in one country is based on the sacrifice of interests of other countries. (这个作为原因有点勉强) Thirdly, the domestic policies play a vital role in material progress and well-being. (这个明显已经不是原因了,更加偏向于深入论证解决方案) (第一段原因都给出来了不是自己给下面的主题段的ts写法出难题么...) (从最后来看你似乎更加支持这个topic的看法.connected和benefit还是不同的)

To begin with, the degree of open and international politics determines (让段落之间转折留下余地的方法就是不要用这种太绝对的词) that one country depends on other countries which have close diplomatic relation and economic trade with it. (巨拗口无比.我觉得我在看no阅读...) Take the economic development in China as an example. Before the establishment of diplomatism between China and western countries and the implement of open policy, the economy and material progress was dependent on a few communistic countries, especially the USSR. (没有说情苏联和中国的关系) When the economy in the USSR was rising, the economy in China is developing faster, and vice versa. In contrast, as the relationship between China and the US is becoming closer, the material progress in China is tightly related to the economic progress in the US. The investment from the US and other western countries has become a main driving force of economic prowess in China. (无语了.这一个点抽象一下明明就是很好的论证内容,或者放在后面总结里面也好,干嘛非要在例子里面说?混在一起很不清楚的...) (下面的情况同上) Now all Top 500 corporations in the world have their branches in China which created numerous job opportunities for Chinese people. Not only does China depend on the US to develop economy, but also provide low costs for these corporation which increase their profits. Economists nowadays reveal that the China and the US are at a win-win situation that progress in one lead to the increase in the other. (与ts无关) China provides labors with low costs while the US provides funding and job opportunities for the large population in China. From this point of view, the material progress and well-being in one country are sometimes connected with others which have close relationship with it.  (例子举了茫茫多.......论证没有.有点beat around the bush)

However, (和上一段之间的关系并非明显转折吧,如果要转折上一段ts要明确点出是utilize) sometimes we can notice that the progress in one country needs to sacrifice the interests of other countries. After all, the international competence is always drastic as long as the resource in the Earth is limited. (理由有点窄似乎) For example, in order to obtain more territory for national security, the Israel needs to invade Palestine and bring terror and suffering to people living there. Although the expansion benefits the well-being and material progress of citizens in Israel, the well-being of Palestinian decreases as a result. (benefits和well-being差别很大的.偏) Furthermore, (sigh,我还是没看出来有什么明显的递进.如果想好了下面要递进了上面一层的小ts就要表现出是准备讲violence的,这样的递进看上去才有道理,否则让你觉得你第二层ts的递进只是针对了上一层的例子) the competence not only happens in a form of war and military actions, but also in some peaceful ways. Some examples of trade conflicts substantiate this point. As we know, one of the most important issues of WTO negotiation is the subsidies of agriculture in the European Union. The tariff charged and subsidies provided by the EU decreases the price of agricultural products in other countries in the world market. As a result, farmers and peasants in other countries suffer a lot from the loss caused by the lower price. A Korean farmer even killed himself to show his protest and indignation of the unfair competence. (conflict呢?没看见~至少要点明这种tariff policy是on prupose的conflict和sacrifice吧) But (有转折么???前面说了eu这种行为是损害了别人的又不是他自己的利益他干嘛要改?直接解释原因就可以了) one the other hand, in order to protect the interests and living standards of farmers in the EU, the EU commission cannot simply reduce or annul the policy of subsidies. International conflicts in interests have been with human being for centuries and no doubt every government set priority for their own well-being. As long as this trend is not broken down, we will still often see the material progress in one country impair the benefits of another. (正面论证有点少)

Furthermore, the well and material progress in a country sometimes are more likely to be determined by national policies rather than the progress in other countries. (这个感觉应该是比较精髓的看法,前两段应该是同意topic的观念,就是说connected的,这里则是一个补充说明(从篇幅分布来看)) No matter how well the progress in other countries is, domestic policies play an essential (嗯) role in its own development because the country is affected most by its intrinsic motivation. For instance, during the 60s and 70s, although the economy in many Asian countries like Japan and South Korea, the economy in China is chaotic because the Cultural Revolution. In contrast, in the financial crisis in the 1997, nearly all Asian countries suffered a lot while China was not large affected because of its policy of regulating currency exchange. (一组对比的例子弄得很不错!可惜后续的论证少了) National progress and well-being is often led by its own policy other than any foreign factors.

In sum, the claim that material progress and well-being in a country is necessarily connected with all other countries is not convincing. The development in a country may be affected by progress of other countries, negatively and positively. In addition, policies carried out by a country should be a crucial and dominant reason for one's well-being.

感觉对于progress和connected的理解有点问题
不过限时写这个字数很不错了
可以把字数压到650留时间让文章更清楚