ISSUE26 MYTH-II小组冲刺阶段4月15日作业 by ploplo 换迎来拍

ploploUID：2320001

完全真实发挥，写完只改正了拼写和语法错误。尽管是提前写完的，但是是照着已经写好的提纲写的。考试时估计最多也就这水平了。为求真实。
请客观狠毒的猛拍。我脆弱的心灵能够承受这生命之拍的~:loveliness:

题目：ISSUE26 - "Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society's past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served."
字数：549          用时：上午 12:33:58          日期：2007-4-16

  Nowadays, more and more people hold the point that old buildings should give the place to the modern ones when the ground is needed. However, I still insist that we should do all our best to preserve the old architecture for several reason following.
  
  To begin with, the history architectures have played crucial roles in both providing material for researching and historic textbook for learning. For one thing, many old buildings have witnessed the big history event that happened centuries ago. Take Bastille for example. Whenever we talk about it, the exiting French Revolution will strike our memory. It is one of the aspects of value that old buildings show. For another, from the old buildings, we may better know one city's culture and history, which is unique and valuable. Just as the Mayor of the New York city says (and I paraphrase) "Beijing would be another 'NY' 100 years later, however, NY will never be a 'Beijing' " A building of one city can greatly help to characterize itself. In one word, historic building provides the idea and spirit in the past, from which we may absorb extensive knowledge about the city.

  In addition, old building could also be a city's emblem, and it can bring a lot of money by appealing tremendous amount of tourists. Let us see the example of Great Wall. There is a famous saying in China ,"You can never be a hero unless you climb on the Great Wall." Because of this, the Great Wall attracts millions of travelers not only from China, but also from each part of the globe. As a result the tour in Great Wall brings the government large amount of money. Also pyramids in Egypt help the government in revenue so much that the income provided by the travel for pyramid accounts for one fifth of the total revenue of the local government. Since so much profit that the old architecture could make, no simple excuse could we have to destroyed the buildings.


  Admittedly, we might be in dilemma when old building take up the place where modern ones could be built and make more benefits. The best solution is to keep balance between preservation and development. On the one hand, some old buildings of little value should be tore down. Otherwise it will only be a waste of both land and money to preserve them. On the other hand, some valuable old building could be removed to other place, and be rebuilt. Or we may take other method, for example to incorporate modern function and style into the modern old buildings just as what Rome has done. That is an idea which could result in both well preserving the old one and making it better serve us. All in all, both past and future are our wealth, and neither of them should we cast away without well considering.

  To sum up, historic architectures are legacies that our progenitors left us. They are so priceless that once they are destroyed no method could we have to recover them as what they used to be. In one word, we human need develop, however, we should think it more about what we could get and what we might lose when the old building and new ones come into conflict.


[ 本帖最后由 ploplo 于 2007-4-16 10:43 编辑 ]

ILOVEISSUEUID：2300195

paraphrase

pippo1983UID：172110

头像更换真频繁~~;)

ploploUID：2320001

hoho~还是sandy同学博学~~
无比讴歌中~~;d: ;d:

ploploUID：2320001

两位老大来拍拍小小的我吧~~
ps.尤其pippo同学~
刚贴完你就水我~~
:funk: :funk:
;d: ;d:

ILOVEISSUEUID：2300195

:loveliness: 帅吧

ploploUID：2320001

完全无视楼主存在阿……
欺负人~~~~~~~~~

:mad::mad::mad:

pippo1983UID：172110

整体感觉不错，但扣题不严，前两段没有突出与现代价值冲突的内容，应该定义下很有历史价值的即使冲突也不应该摧毁。没有价值的应该摧毁应该明确下什么样的算没价值。长城的商业应用应该放在最后一段做个让步。
大病初愈，没精力细改了:handshake

pippo1983UID：172110

没偶得帅:lol :lol :lol

ploploUID：2320001

原帖由 pippo1983 于 2007-4-16 10:54 发表
整体感觉不错，但扣题不严，前两段没有突出与现代价值冲突的内容，应该定义下很有历史价值的即使冲突也不应该摧毁。没有价值的应该摧毁应该明确下什么样的算没价值。长城的商业应用应该放在最后一段做个让步。
...

生病了？:funk:
身体健康才是王道阿~
要多多注意的说~:loveliness:
另~长城那个怎么个让步法~没太懂哦~
简单说说呗~
同学叫吃饭~
但会回来再探望你~
ps.我觉得pitt卡尺头比较有型的说~;d:

IloveissuetooUID：2323606

忘了说.. 我也是MYTH-II的 :loveliness:

Nowadays, more and more people hold the point that old buildings should give the place to (give place to) the modern ones when the ground is needed. However, I still insist that we should do all our best to preserve the old architecture for several reasons following following不用作表语，这里写as follows.
  
  To begin with, the history architectures have played crucial roles in both providing (providing both) material for researching and historic textbook for learning. For one thing, many old buildings have witnessed the big history event that happened centuries ago. Take Bastille for example. Whenever we talk about it, the exciting French Revolution will strike our memory 这里应该对应research，strick our memory不够格. It is one of the aspects of value that old buildings show. For another, from the old buildings, we may better know one city's culture and history, which is unique and valuable. Just as the Mayor of the New York city says (and I paraphrase) "Beijing would be another 'NY' 100 years later, however, NY will never be a 'Beijing' " A building of one city can greatly help to characterize itself 看结构itself=a building. In one word, historic building provides the idea and spirit in the past前面没有说呀, from which we may absorb extensive knowledge about the city.
确实没有扣住'矛盾'写，但是。。我也觉得都扣着就写不出来了。。苦恼

  In addition, old building could also be a city's emblem, and it can bring a lot of money by appealing tremendous amount of tourists. Let us see the example of Great Wall. There is a famous saying in China ,"You can never be a hero unless you climb on the Great Wall." Because of this, the Great Wall attracts millions of travelers not only from China, but also from each every,each强调的是个体，every整体 part of the globe. As a result the tour in Great Wall brings the government large amount of money. Also pyramids in Egypt help the government in revenue so much that the income provided by the travel for pyramid accounts for one fifth of the total revenue of the local government. Since so much profit that the old architecture could make, no simple excuse could we have to destroyed the buildings.
同问。怎么让步？
其实觉得这段的例子。。注意题目中的限制when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes.


  Admittedly, we might be in dilemma when old building take up the place where modern ones could be built and make more benefits. 如果考虑到那个限制条件，恐怕文章中只有这一段真正切题 The best solution is to keep balance between preservation and development. On the one hand, some old buildings of little value should be tore down. Otherwise it will only be a waste of both land and money to preserve them. On the other hand, some valuable old building could be removed to other place, and be rebuilt. Or we may take other method, for example to incorporate modern function and style into the modern old buildings just as what Rome has done. That is an idea which could result in both well preserving the old one and making it better serve us. All in all, both past and future are our wealth, and neither of them should we cast away without well considering.
或者是否可以在开篇点明自己要先讨论建筑的价值，就不会那么跑了

  To sum up, historic architectures are legacies that our progenitors left us. They are so priceless that once they are destroyed no method could we have to recover them as what they used to be. In one word, we human need develop, however 不是很强的转折，meanwhile, we should think it more about what we could get and what we might lose when the old building and new ones come into conflict.

说有点跑题只是猜测，不一定对，参考 ^_^
写得很好
加油！

ploploUID：2320001

body1
~确实扣得不紧~所以我转了句witness the big event ~结果还是被你就住小尾巴了~sigh~~
;d:
干脆换成大英博物馆 The British Museum 好了~这个就咋说咋有理了~呵呵~
第二个例子美完全展开~基本上也就是culture, history ,idea,之类的绕了~
body2
听你一说确实偏题了~或者说貌似谢局限了~
现在在思考：
是换例子，改写巴黎圣母院院？——貌似很没多少游客~
还是前面限定，说所有的有意义的建筑~
苦恼中~~

pippo1983UID：172110

说错了，是递进，表明古建筑一样有现代价值，最近真晕。。。
1让步，说明没有价值的可以拆除
2有价值的就算冲突也不能拆
3表明古建筑一样可以有现代价值

ploploUID：2320001

原帖由 pippo1983 于 2007-4-16 16:17 发表
说错了，是递进，表明古建筑一样有现代价值，最近真晕。。。
1让步，说明没有价值的可以拆除
2有价值的就算冲突也不能拆
3表明古建筑一样可以有现代价值

拿小本本记下来~~

;P;P

iq28UID：2152875

Nowadays, more and more people hold the point that old buildings should give the place to the modern ones when the ground is needed. However, I still insist that we should do all our best to preserve the old architecture for several reasons following.
  
  To begin with, the history architectures have played crucial roles in both providing material for researching and historic textbook for learning. (看下面能否focus在这两个点上面) For one thing, many old buildings have witnessed the big history event that happened centuries ago. Take Bastille for example. Whenever we talk about it, the exiting French Revolution will strike our memory. It is one of the aspects of value that old buildings show. For another, from the old buildings, we may better know one city's culture and history, which is unique and valuable. Just as the Mayor of the New York city says (and I paraphrase) "Beijing would be another 'NY' 100 years later, however, NY will never be a 'Beijing' " A building of one city can greatly help to characterize itself. In one word, historic building provides the idea and spirit in the past, from which we may absorb extensive knowledge about the city. (问题1,没有具体指出value在何.知道了解那些历史的好处在什么地方呢?问题2,也是更严重的问题,这些好处我们确实无法否认,但是本题需要我们讨论的是在古代建筑vs现代建筑,没有在考虑现代的urgent的需求压迫来讨论历史建筑的价值,这些论证对于题目的response是有点偏)

  In addition, old building could also be a city's emblem, and it can bring a lot of money by appealing tremendous amount of tourists. (如果联系到了现代建筑带来的好处对比一下效果会更好) Let us see the example of Great Wall. (毫无说服力的例子.长城要和什么建筑抢地盘了么?) There is a famous saying in China ,"You can never be a hero unless you climb on the Great Wall." Because of this, the Great Wall attracts millions of travelers not only from China, but also from each part of the globe. As a result the tour in Great Wall brings the government large amount of money. Also pyramids (同上) in Egypt help the government in revenue so much that the income provided by the travel for pyramid accounts for one fifth of the total revenue of the local government. Since so much profit that the old architecture could make, no simple excuse could we have to destroyed the buildings.


  Admittedly, we might be in dilemma when old building take up the place where modern ones could be built and make more benefits. The best solution is to keep balance between preservation and development. (唐突的无论证的balance...前面根本连morden都没提到) On the one hand, some old buildings of little value should be tore down. Otherwise it will only be a waste of both land and money to preserve them. On the other hand, some valuable old building could be removed to other place, and be rebuilt. Or we may take other method, for example to incorporate modern function and style into the modern old buildings just as what Rome has done. That is an idea which could result in both well preserving the old one and making it better serve us. All in all, both past and future are our wealth, and neither of them should we cast away without well considering. (只有这段才算是真正回应了题目.而且还和上面段落的论证基本联系不起来,提到了很多很多的小论点,乱)

  To sum up, historic architectures are legacies that our progenitors left us. They are so priceless that once they are destroyed no method could we have to recover them as what they used to be. In one word, we human need develop, however, we should think it more about what we could get and what we might lose when the old building and new ones come into conflict.

4分很危险
这种类型的题目切忌忘了讨论某种事物的价值的时候是有着很重要的前提的,对于这个题目而言就是现代建筑的需求.
这个忽略导致你前两个body在我看来基本等于没说