六月IELTS 七分保底小组 (A类)H-Kevin 第一次作业

H-KevinUID: 2182070

题目 1-5.rar (130.83 KB, 下载次数: 42)

2007-4-26 20:35:43 上传

下载次数: 42

图表题1

The diagram describes that there is a significantly rise in the average hours of un paid work per week due to the women or men whether have children.

The women spent almost 30 hours per week ,in such unpaid work as childcare and housework, compare to only 18 hours that spent by the men before both of them without children.

If them have more than one child, the hours of unpaid work for women increased to at least 53 hours per week. However , even in this dramatically change with women, the men still spent about 18 hours per week. And if the number of children rise from one to three, there is a slightly decrease in the hours that spent by men for unpaid work.

The data suggest that the increased number of children cause women utilize much more their leisure time in the house working. The men also need spent most their time to earn enough money for feeding children.

图表题2

As can be seen from two pie charts, which describe the career structure of males and females respectively, manual and non-manual work attract different amount of employees based on the gender.

In the manual employment, they are similar rate in craft work (32% in female and 28% in male). but in another part of manual employment ,marked as other manual, the male work present obvious high rate (21% of all) compared with female workers(4.5% of all).

In the non-manual employment, the difference is more distinct than that in the manual employment. That 38% male employee work in the managerial and profession field is slightly higher than the rate of female employee (30%) in the same department. And almost 30% female employee distribute in the clerical and related field where only 5% male employee work.

So, according to the chart, the characteristic of gender is a undeniable factor, when the people search a suitable job. For instance, that the quality of chariness and wariness in the female induce more and more female work as a clerical.

图表题 3

As can be seen from the first graph, a form, that describes the sectoral distribution of employment and GDP in 1992, the service sector provide majority profit for the whole GDP in this developing country, and the second graph, a trend chart, that shows the movement current of such three primary sector as industry, natural resources and service from 1986 to 1995.

In the first form, the service sector, including trade, industry, restaurant and etc, produce 77.4 of GDP by their 18.8 of total employment. Especially in the department of trades restaurants and hotels, they make 37.1% of GDP through only 4.9% of total employment in this country. On the other hand, the employee worked in the natural resources only produced 19.2% of GDP, which is such a unbalanced data that they occupied almost 77.4% in the entire employment.

In the second chart, the service keep steadily decrease approximately from 63% to 55% between 1986 and 1995. And natural resources also descend feckly from 30% to 18%, with a slightly increase in 1993. Compared to the decrease of above two sectors, the industry has a obvious rise from 10% to nearly 20%, and beyond the natural resources after 1995.

Finally, the most amounts of employees worked in the sector, the natural resources, which produced only one fifth of GDP. However, the service, which already become the dominated sector in theirs country, make almost three fourth of GDP by their one fifth of overall workers.

Issue 1

News editor decide what to broadcast on the television and what to print in news papers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?


There are many big affair and incident in almost every minute in the world, but which news we will hear or see from news media is decided by the news editors. The reasons for selecting suitable pieces of news are depending on the needing of this news media, and the politic country.

Firstly, both the bad news and good news will affect the mood and action of all people who received this. So news as a major implement of inducting the people, the news media frequently have a rule of choosing , which is framed by the government. For instance, the news which will cause a wide strike through the whole country would block immediately. One example, happened in my town, that several workers and citizens got a disease due to the air pollution made by a very big factory in this city, then they assemble in front of the gate of government building for solving the problem of pollution and gaining the compensation from that country. Because the tax from that factory is the main revenue for the government, if this incident are broadcasted as news in the TV or radio. There must be a strike which will cause a great amount to both the factory and government. So the news was blocked in all the new media in this city by the order from the local government.

Secondly, the news media has some fluctuation in profit when their program can not attract many audiences. Therefore, they will broadcast the news which can let more and more audience to stop their telecontrol machine in their channel. At the same time, there is a interesting phenomena that people is easy to be arrested by the bad news occurring in the screen, from the war happing in Iraq and the train crush in India. This preference is grasped by the news media. That is the reason why we always found the rate of bad news is much higher than the good news when we watch our Televisions. On the contrary, That broadcasting good news for government can keep the stabilization of the society will, synchronously, induce the decrease of audience rating to this news media.

Eventually, living in this world does not mean we will know every kind of news from this world. According to the different aim of purchasing profit in the money or affection in society, the news we got is already selected information which is purified by the government and news media. In that case, both the good news and bad news is the things for the development of those profit organizations.

Issue 2

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What thinks will they be used for in the future? Is this dependences on computers a good thins or should we be suspicious of their benefits.

There is a undeniable fact that the computer has been used widely in every field in the modern society From the research of science to the application in the factory, the computer is the very important approach to make the whole process more easily and rapidly. Especially, since the internet, which run in the computer net and can provide such profit as the long-distance training, security trade and etc to the people in the every corner of the world, invented by a famous computer laboratory, the function of computer has been a tool that can never be eliminated. So the advent of computer is the big contribution for the whole population, and will assist us to have a a good development of society in the future.

Firstly, the computing rate of a computer is billion times than that of a mathematics scientist. In many filed, such as the missile and aircraft study, the attainment can not be fulfilled without computer. We can not image how much formula the thousands and hundreds scientist will done. And everybody know that in this study, the accurate data is the very important for the entire process just a mistake like err in decent will cause the failure of the all experiment, even the life of people.

Secondly, the internet, which is a tool we use it everyday, is a function provided by computer. Through the net, we can know the others the information immediately just by chat software. And the long-distance education is also support the African people to get a chance to be trained in a America university. Without the internet, that just a dream for that Africa student to achieve his America dream. The absconding criminal also will be arrest when their fingerprints are transport by the internet from the foreign country to his original country.

But, in the future, the development of application of computer science without control is dangerous action for the people. As we see in the novel, if we give the robot a strong computing process unit in their system, which is created by a crazy scientist, the tragedy will happened like the terrible situation in the movie Superman or Spiderman. In that case, the immoderate despondence of computer in the future will cause the chance that computer become a aggressive machine without the control and ethical standard.

In conclusion, the life of modern people has been changed indescribably. Most of us will lose our mind when we found one day computer disappeared. Just see the position in this century, there is no obvious harm for the despondence on computer. However, following the development of the computer science, there will be a potential risk to us if we stick to depend on utilizing the computer in every layer of our living.

(一共五篇完)

[ 本帖最后由 H-Kevin 于 2007-5-1 20:13 编辑 ]

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

我觉得6分。。最多。。task one 很容易写，但是很难写的好。。感觉字数偏少。。多练唏吧

wushashaUID: 2289713

1-1.GIF
The diagram given above, presented by bar chart, is both interesting and instructive and shows the fluctulation of the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories.
As illustrated in the diagram, three categories of people are divided based on their number of children: without children, with 1-2 children and with more than 3 children. On one hand, along with the increase of children number, umpaid work hours per week of married women goes up accordingly from 30 to about 53 hours. However, on the other hand, for the married men upaid work hous per week keeps steady from category 1 to 3, and is about 18 hours.
It is goes without saying that the diagram aim at revealing a common fact, which need to pay more attention to, that the married women spent much more time than men on their children. There is no reason to make a fuss about this phenomenon, from the traditional aspect, women are considered to take care for the family and children, while the men earn money to support their family. (182 words)

wushashaUID: 2289713

敬请各位大侠指点……

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

总感觉你用写task2的方法写task1不合理。。
我觉得task1的关键是表述清楚。。。有模版的痕迹。。而且用的技巧应该用于task2。。。6分

金金鱼UID: 2202172

怎么算task one写得好，是你的描述能让读者不用看图，脑子里却能想像出那张图。
在描述得清楚的基础上，美化它。

xuezhongyangUID: 201193

Task one :
Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home , house work and gardening . Do you know how many hours in different families , women and men , should cost on doing the unpaid work ?

As the diagram present , we can know clearly that the hours cost on unpaid work per week are shoot up from the women have one baby to three babies. On the contary, the hours cost of the men are not have an obvious change .

The men who didn’t have a baby pay nearly 20 hours on unpaid work per week while the women should pay 30 hours .The families which have one or two babies have a big change with the women .They should pay 50 hours on unpaid work while the men still cost 20 hours . In addition ,
the families which have three babies have a histrionic change on men and women . The women cost 55 hours on unpaid work , only have a tiny change . However, the hours of the men should cost on unpaid work desend nearly 3 hours .

Face to such a change on the diagram, we can see that babies play an important part in the women’s lives. If the families have one more baby , mother’s own spare time would be tie up much more . Nevertheless, father’s leisure-time seem that haven’t get more disturb. Why babies change a mother’s normal life ? To my way of thinking , as a result of mother’s love of the babies .They cost much more time with this kinds of unpaid work.

H-KevinUID: 2182070

谢谢yidi斑竹，我们刚刚开始写，会学习大家的意见

原帖由 yidi mercury 于 2007-4-27 21:21 发表
我觉得6分。。最多。。task one 很容易写，但是很难写的好。。感觉字数偏少。。多练唏吧

H-KevinUID: 2182070

这个好象是比较困难，不过我确实这么想过，语言还是运用的不好，谢谢金金鱼斑竹

原帖由 金金鱼 于 2007-4-28 05:10 发表
怎么算task one写得好，是你的描述能让读者不用看图，脑子里却能想像出那张图。
在描述得清楚的基础上，美化它。

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

原帖由 H-Kevin 于 2007-4-28 10:16 发表
这个好象是比较困难，不过我确实这么想过，语言还是运用的不好，谢谢金金鱼斑竹

看看写作书。。先要形成一个概念。。如何构思task 1写作最重要

xuezhongyangUID: 201193

没有分工么?
都只是把文章写了出来,但是没有分组互批,怎么进行下去?
还是都把作业贴上来,然后等着某个好心人(譬如斑竹)来批改么?

H-KevinUID: 2182070

原帖由 wushasha 于 2007-4-27 21:46 发表

1-1.GIF

The diagram given above, presented by bar chart, is both interesting and instructive(要比较客观的分析,第一段主题是不是不宜使用这样主观的形容词) and(两个and离的这么近 有点不利于主题句的理解) shows the fluctulation of the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories.

As illustrated in the diagram, three categories of people are divided based on their number of children: without children, with 1-2 children and with more than 3 children. On one hand, along with the increase of children number, umpaid work hours per week of married women goes up accordingly from 30 to about 53 hours. However, on the other hand, for the married men upaid work hous(注意单词的拼写) per week keeps steady from category 1 to 3, and is about 18 hours.

It is goes without saying that the diagram aim at revealing a common fact, which need to pay more attention to, that the married women spent much more time than men on their children. There is no reason to make a fuss about this phenomenon, from the traditional aspect,(两个插入语的意义一样的,形势上是不是有两个同时存在的必要) women are considered to take care for the family and children, while the men earn money to support their family.

总评
1.词汇比较丰富,但是摸板词汇比较多
2.如能把第三个图,男性时间随着孩子数增加而减少写成第三段的话,字数会超过两百,更漂亮
3.比我写的好
4.有不同意见,大家互相讨论

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

斑竹没有义务为版油批作文。。我只是很赞同这样的活动。。。
请参考楼上的格式，就是这么样子批地。。

lj331shuiUID: 2332145

With the development of science and technology, computer use has been more and more popular. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. However, I believe we should treat correctly to the computer.


The computer has brought some convenience to people. People can acquire some latest information by internet; we can make friends with the whole world; people can even buy something they want by computer; in the future computer will be used in larger area.


Firstly, It takes negative affection on children who were indulged in computer games. Children are so busying in computer games that they have little time doing homework, which effect children’s studying .At the same time, due to the long time sitting in front of computer, many children have to wear glasses. What is more, since we communicate with people around all over the world by computer, people seldom pay a visit to each other. As a result, people are alienate to relations . Last but not least, the computer has exited some safety problem. For example, there are many hake who attract other people’s computer to steal the important information, which impairs other person’s prosper safety


Therefore, we should pay more attention to the benefit of the computer. We should not dependent completely on the computer.(218)
好久没写作文，今天第一次正式写，憋了很久，希望各位大侠指点。。。。。。发誓要多练练笔。。。。

H-KevinUID: 2182070

楼上这位同志,此贴是小组内部贴,你现在还不是小组成员,有关规则请见  小组规则(点击), 谢谢

原帖由 lj331shui 于 2007-4-29 00:29 发表
With the development of science and technology, computer use has been more and more popular. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. However, I believe we sh ...