Issue153【0710G Victors互助小组】第1次作业

#十指飞舞UID: 2330769

第一次写issue ，感觉不太好。欢迎多多拍砖，谢谢:)

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."
WORDS: 544          TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2007-5-4 12:51:24
提纲：
I agree with the speaker that it is necessary or even desirable for students to be skeptical to what they are learning, but finding a balance between skepticism, or critical thinking and passive learning in some areas should be a wise and realistic choice.
1.      One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that skepticism is the starting point of creation, innovation, and promotes social progress.
2.      Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that learning is a process that students interact with their teachers to pursuit knowledge and truth, once students involve skepticism in the process, they would gain more and learn more effectively
3.      it is impossible for us to scrutinize every thing we learn, in this sense, we have to learn many things passively in order to increase learning efficiency and save our valuable time.

正文：

  I agree with the speaker that it is necessary or even desirable for students to be skeptical to what they are learning, they should not take books and words of authority for granted, but question them bravely. This is the right method and attitude for learning. Nevertheless, sometimes students must also be allowed to accept new knowledge in other fields while be critical with some particular areas. It is a knowledge-explosion era, which limits each individual’s energy to a few areas. Finding a balance between skepticism, or critical thinking and passive learning in some areas should be a wise and realistic choice.

  One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that skepticism is the starting point of creation, innovation, and promotes social progress. Without skepticism, we might have never made so many progresses and stayed in an era full of ignorance.As the saying goes” If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.” which is from Descartes, the famous philosopher and outstanding mathematician .One sound example is the famous astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei. Galileo worked as a professor of astronomy at University of Pisa, the most prevailing astronomy theory in his times was that the sun and all the planets revolved around the Earth. But Galileo was skeptical to this theory and attempt to explore the truth with his new telescope. Galileo's observations convinced him of the truth of Copernicus's sun-centered or heliocentric theory and pave the way for the further development of science.

  Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that learning is a process that students interact with their teachers to pursuit knowledge and truth, once students involve skepticism in the process, they would gain more and learn more effectively .I am a student too, my study experience and common sense tell me that the more questions brought up in learning a subject, the more and firmer knowledge learned finally.

  Having recognized that skepticism is so important and helpful to our study, people would think that we should question whatever we learn and everything we come across and passive acceptance would be the great enemy of new discovery and innovation. Nevertheless, it is impossible for us to scrutinize every thing we learn, since we cannot limit our horizon in a narrow field. As an individual, his or her energy is limited, yet the world of today is a society needing us to broaden our horizons as wider as possible. Therefore, in this sense, we have to learn many things passively in order to increase learning efficiency and save our valuable time. Consider the example of working in a team, each one should own his or her responsibility and achieve the final goals. As we all know, there is something one is good at and something else not. If we were to Hypercriticize each one knows what others do, the team would achieve nothing.

  In sum, skepticism is very important in the development of science and learning process, students would gain a lot from it. However, in some aspects, a balance between creative thinking and passive learning should be weighed to let us gain the most from learning.

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2007-5-5 20:44 编辑 ]

fengyinyangUID: 2321139

I agree with the speaker that it is necessary or even desirable for students to be skeptical to what they are learning, but finding a balance between skepticism, or critical thinking and passive learning in some areas should be a wise and realistic choice.
1.      One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that skepticism is the starting point of creation, innovation, and promotes social progress.
2.      Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that learning is a process that students interact with their teachers to pursuit knowledge and truth, once students involve skepticism in the process, they would gain more and learn more effectively
3.      it is impossible for us to scrutinize every thing we learn, in this sense, we have to learn many things passively in order to increase learning efficiency and save our valuable time.

正文：

  I agree with the speaker that it is necessary or even desirable for students to be skeptical to what they are learning, they should not take books and words of authority for granted, but question them bravely. This is the right method and attitude for learning. Nevertheless, sometimes students must also be allowed to accept new knowledge in other fields while bebeing critical with some particular areas. It is a knowledge-explosion era, which limits each感觉好像应该用every individual’s energy to a few areas. Finding a balance between skepticism, or critical thinking and passive learning in some areas should be a wise and realistic choice.

  One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that skepticism is the starting point of creation, innovation, and promotes social progress感觉最后用promotion of the society是不是和前面的几个词更和谐一些. Without skepticism, we might have never made so many progresses and stayed in an era full of ignorance. As the saying goes” If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.” which is from Descartes, the famous philosopher and outstanding mathematician .One sound example is the famous astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei. Galileo worked as a professor of astronomy at University of Pisa,and the most prevailing astronomy theory in his times was that the sun and all the planets revolved around the Earth. But Galileo was skeptical to this theory and attemptattempted to explore the truth with his new telescope. Galileo's observations convinced him of the truth of Copernicus's sun-centered or heliocentric theory and pave the way for the further development of science.

  Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that learning is a process that students interact with their teachers to pursuit knowledge and truth, once students involve skepticism in the process, they would gain more and learn more effectively .I am a student too, my study experience and common sense tell me that the more questions brought up in learning a subject, the more and firmer knowledge learned finally. 这一段感觉应该再多论证一些

  Having recognized that skepticism is so important and helpful to our study, people would think that we should question whatever we learn and everything we come across and passive acceptance would be the great enemy of new discovery and innovation. Nevertheless, it is impossible for us to scrutinize everything we learn, since we cannot limit our horizon in a narrow field. As an individual, his or her energy is limited, yet the world of today is a society needing us to broaden our horizons as wider as possible. Therefore, in this sense, we have to learn many things passively in order to increase learning efficiency and save our valuable time. Consider considering the example of working in a team, each one should own his or her responsibility and achieve the final goals. As we all know, there is something one is good at and something else not. If we were to Hypercriticize each one knows what others do, the team would achieve nothing.

  In sum, skepticism is very important in the development of science and learning process, students would gain a lot from it. However, in some aspects, a balance between creative thinking and passive learning should be weighed to let us gain the most from learning.

总的说还不错，结构清晰，论据丰富，但是论证较少，句式可以尝试着多样化一些~~

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

  I agree with the speaker that it is necessary or even desirable for students to be skeptical to what they are learning, they should not take books and words of authority for granted, but question them bravely. This is the right method and attitude for learning.（开头不建议将题目扩充，这样会导致你的重述偏离题目原意，而且考官很熟悉题目，没必要抄一遍还改改。比较实用的做法是把题目意思精简后从从句初步提出自己的理由，这样让人知道你的候温的行文结构也使首段信息量多些，还便于自己组织思路） Nevertheless, sometimes students must also be allowed to accept new knowledge in other fields while be critical with some particular areas.（这里成了有保留的同意了，那么之前一句应该加上"at most situations""fundamentally"等限定词，不然你就前后矛盾了） It is a knowledge-explosion era, which limits each individual’s energy to a few areas.（这个跟你的论点有什么关系？应该说energy会限制人们对所有知识都提出质疑的能力，不然就形成逻辑断点了） Finding a balance between skepticism, or critical thinking and passive learning in some areas should be a wise and realistic choice.（感觉这句才是你的中心论点，因此前面的句子不然换个语气用比较客观的叙述方式作为引子，最后用I think, In my opinion这种词来点出中心论点）

  One reason for my fundamental agreement （agree what? 现在你是有保留的同意，而题目是"all the knowledge"，严格来说你的观点应该算反对）with the speaker is that skepticism is the starting point of creation, innovation, and promotes social progress. Without skepticism, we might have never made so many progresses and stayed in an era full of ignorance. （这句话跟前一句没什么意思上的区别，可以写在一起）As the saying goes” If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.” which is from Descartes, the famous philosopher and outstanding mathematician .（引用完后先分析解释，论证它如何支持你的论点，不要直接转入下一个例子）One sound example is the famous astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei. Galileo worked as a professor of astronomy at University of Pisa, the most prevailing astronomy theory in his times was that the sun and all the planets revolved around the Earth. But Galileo was skeptical to this theory and attempt to explore the truth with his new telescope. Galileo's observations convinced him of the truth of Copernicus's sun-centered or heliocentric theory and pave the way for the further development of science.（段落结尾没有总结性的论证，不利于例子联系论点，最好分析下伽同学的事例，然后引入下一个论点）

  Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that learning is a process that students interact with their teachers to pursuit knowledge and truth, once students involve skepticism in the process, they would gain more and learn more effectively .（感觉这个论点比第一个深，二者不在同一逻辑层面上，导致的结果是你这里的论点可以变成前一段的论证：为什么怀疑能带来创新呢？因为它能让学生学习更多的知识。可以通过引导两个论点向不同的方向来解决这个问题，比如把第一个论点写成怀疑可以给学术界带来什么，而把第二个论点引向兴趣、个人的方向）I am a student too, my study experience and common sense tell me that the more questions brought up in learning a subject, the more and firmer knowledge learned finally. （太笼统了，感觉看起来象编的，需要给出details and specifics，这样才有说服力）

  Having recognized that skepticism is so important and helpful to our study, people would think that we should question whatever we learn and everything we come across and passive acceptance would be the great enemy of new discovery and innovation. Nevertheless, it is impossible for us to scrutinize every thing we learn, since we cannot limit our horizon in a narrow field. （限制在一个狭窄范围内根怀疑有什么因果联系么？因果不充分，应该把中间的推理写清楚）（考试的时候是打不出黑字的，所以要把主题句放到段首，前面的过度可以单成一段）As an individual, his or her energy is limited, yet the world of today is a society needing us to broaden our horizons as wider as possible. Therefore, in this sense, we have to learn many things passively in order to increase learning efficiency and save our valuable time. Consider the example of working in a team, each one should own his or her responsibility and achieve the final goals. As we all know, there is something one is good at and something else not. If we were to Hypercriticize each one knows what others do, the team would achieve nothing.（全段都没说拓宽视野跟怀疑有什么关系，这里有个假设，即使怀疑需要深入一门学科而且不去学别的学科，这个假设不是commonsense，而且我感觉更合理的说法应该是我们没有精力去怀疑所有知识，因为有些知识没必要被怀疑而有些知识我们则没有能力怀疑，想要提出怀疑要有足够的背景知识等等）

  In sum, skepticism is very important in the development of science and learning process, students would gain a lot from it. However, in some aspects, a balance between creative thinking and passive learning should be weighed to let us gain the most from learning.

总评：
1，结构上还可以，但主题和态度有些混乱，造成文章的大方向不明确，有些主题句也不准确。
2，语言上没什么问题，写aw基本够用了，但举事实例子那里有些累述，不够简练
3，逻辑上存在不少跳跃的地方，建议写完自己回过头去看看，是不是合理
4，论证上缺乏一些必要的细节，理论分析比较少，由于逻辑上的不连续使得分析也不够到位

DemoUID: 2331967

想赞一下bz评个分 (虽然大人好像不太需要= =)
发现.. 只能打1分..
算了 我要好好灌水 早点升级

#十指飞舞UID: 2330769

非常感谢版主诺诺的大力支持！
点评的非常深刻，很有道理，我再改改
平生第一篇issue居然能拿score1 说明我还有很大的提升空间么   
:)
继续修改去了
谢谢两位:handshake

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

4楼的说的是论坛的评分功能，由于等级限制只能评1分……不是说你的文章只能得1分，个人认为得1分还是很难的，这篇至少也有3分吧，不跑题有内容。
反正时间还长，好好加油，相信到考的时候你会成为牛人的

落雪UID: 2258193

抱歉问一句，怎么加入0710G的互助小组啊，我也是10G的。
好像加入一个小组啊！孤独ing……

#十指飞舞UID: 2330769

又仔细看了几遍这个文章。
虽然前面已经说过了，但是在这还是想再次喊一声：点评的实在是太太太（省略n个）......好了！不愧是版主！
发现了文章的很多缺陷。
再次衷心感谢版主诺诺！
:handshake