Issue185 [0710G Victors互助小组]第4次作业 by Lemon

lemon71500UID: 2335516

Issue185.”Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

  A scandal is one of the most effective and acrimonious methods to discover a truth or read a person, it is an attitude with monitor and critique which could give press on the public figures, use public curiosity and voice to restrict their behaviors. Now scandals are not something fresh, we can find them around many affairs and person. But this powerful tool must be used properly, or it can’t take a positive effect.
  A scandal always lets the public get to know the defendant’s abhorrent deed and ugly nature, which may be covered by an pretty exterior represent. Whether in politics, academia, or other areas, once a scandal is disclosed, the storm it brings would undoubtedly take a huge negative impulse to the people in the storm center. Bill Clinton, who once was a conspicuous leader in American political circles, however, had been revealed the liaison with Lewinsky and dishonest dictions trying to cover his deeds, this scandal ended his political life earlier and in darkness. Another example familiar to us is the Korean former chief biology scientist Yuxi Huang, who was at his career peak and had a tremendous chance to get a Nobel Prize for his research in cell biology, be tested a fabricated content included in his treatise, turned him to be a wicked liar from a world-famous academician. So scandal is a useful way to dig out these dissemblers without conservation.
  Since its powerful influence is terrible, scandal also could be used with a negative purpose. There is an interesting phenomenon that in many western countries when general election is coming, to a elector scandals become an effective weapon to attack his rival, these scandals always represent an ambiguous information, the content may be right or wrong, may happened years ago but be brought up again, but the intention is clear, that is to destroy his competitor’s public figure to obtain an advantage in the election. Although these defamatory deeds are illegal, it can acquire a dramatically good result.
  What’s more, if the scandal is abusive, it would become an aggressive action to other’s privacy. This kind of abuse is very common in people’s daily life, especially in the entertainment area. Many magazines and TV-programs hope to catch more and more eyes with a private scoop, which is often about famous stars’ negative news, these publicizes are nearly all without permission of the stars, that is to say, this behavior is an invasion to individual privacy, so it is easy to understand why our famous stars all dislike those contemptible reporters.
  As the old says going:” A righteous person have not a skew shadow”, so scandal is a representation of depraved mind. Consequently, we need this kind of extreme behave to constrain personal deeds, if use it properly we can focus our attention on some issues that are hard to reveal.

mmbeeUID: 2316818

A scandal is one of the most effective and acrimonious methods to discover a truth or read a person, also, it is an attitude with monitor and critique which could give press pressure on the public figures 两句之间缺少逻辑连接词，形成run-on sentence了, useby virtue of,这里同上，加连接词或换介词作状语 public curiosity and voice to restrict their behaviors. Now scandals are not something fresh, and we can even find them around many affairs and person related to many people and affairs around us. But this powerful tool must be used properly, or it can’tcan not,书面语分开写 take a positive effect.

  A scandal always lets 极端词汇不太好，can help the public get to know the defendant’s abhorrent deed and ugly nature, which may be covered by ana pretty exterior represent. Whether in politics, academia, or other areas, once a scandal is disclosed, the storm it brings would undoubtedly take a huge negative impulse to the people in the storm center. Bill Clinton, who once was a conspicuous leader in American political circles, however, had been revealed the liaison with Lewinsky and dishonest dictions trying to cover his deeds, this scandal ended his political life earlier and in darkness. Another example familiar to us is about the Korean former chief biology scientist Yuxi Huang, who was at his career peak and had a tremendous chance to get a Nobel Prize for his research in cell biology, be tested a fabricated content included in his treatise, turned him himself to be a wicked liar from a world-famous academician. So scandal is a useful way to dig out these dissemblers without conservation.这段的中心是要表达scandals are useful,举的例子都是很好的事例，但是阐述或者分析的时候着重于take a huge negative impulse to the people in the storm center，可能偏向于useful for public的角度更好一些，让例子发挥最大的有效性
  Since its powerful influence is terrible, scandal also could be used with a negative purpose.这个topic sentence给人的感觉是说scandal的不好方面，其实是要说scandal在election中起到的有效作用，所以可以适当改一下表述就更好了 There is an interesting phenomenon that in many western countries when general election is coming, to a elector scandals become an effective weapon to attack his rival, and these scandals always represent an an 去掉，information不可数ambiguous information,. In any event, the content may be right or wrong, or may happenedhave happened years ago but be brought up again, but the intention is clear, that is to destroy his competitor’s public figure to obtain an advantage in the election. Although these defamatory deeds are illegal, it can acquire a dramatically good result.
  What’s more,On the other hand, 前两段是scandal的effective,这段是说abuse scandals的negative, 应转折 if the scandal is abusive, it would become an aggressive action to other’s privacy. This kind of abuse is very common in people’s daily life, especially in the entertainment area. Many magazines and TV-programs hope to catch more and more eyes with a private scoop, which is often about famous stars’ negative news, however, these publicizes are nearly all without permission of the stars, that is to say, this behavior is an invasion to individual privacy, so it is easy to understand why our famous stars all dislike those contemptible reporters.

  As the old says going:” A righteous person have not a skew shadow”, so scandal is a representation of depraved mind. Consequently, we need this kind of extreme behaveextreme behave这个表达不太好,换一个或者直接用scandals to constrainrestrain personal deeds, if we use it properly we can focus our attention on some issues that are hard to reveal.

文章语言总体挺好的，问题主要在文章的逻辑脉络上，
文章逻辑结果：
1. 文章段与段之间缺少逻辑连接词，比如第一，第二段可以加上First of all…, In addition…, 第三段转折可以加上On the other hand…, however…, 这些虽是小词，但是让文章结构清晰。
2. 文章逻辑思路要保持清晰。比如前两段是对scandal的正态度，分析阐述的时候也一定是这个态度保持整段。建议先列提干，后写文章。

语言
Run-on sentence一定要注意，算是比较大的语法错误。

以上意见仅供参考，mm加油，不久以后一定能写得很好。