Argument137 [Victors小组]第七次作业

乳虎UID: 2251211

137The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

提纲：1调查的样本可能不够大。
      2调查对象的选取可能不是随机的。
      3作者忽略了财政收入的其他用途。
In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Mason City council increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. To support his or her recommendation, he or she cites the surveys of the region's residents consistently ranking water sports(swimming, fishing and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Additionally, he or she points out that the agency responsible for rivers in their region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. On the basis of that, he or she reason that  recreational use of the river is likely to increase. In my view, the argument suffers from a series of logical flaws which render it not so convincing as it stands.

In the first place, the survey should be statistically reliable, however, in this argument we can find no sign for the sample size of the survey, so we can not help to doubting whether the survey enroll enough people so as to be representative of all the residents of Mason City. For example, maybe the population of the residents adds up to 1000000, but there are only 100 participants. For that matter,  the survey can not prove that water sports turns out to be the favorite sport of the residents of Mason City.  

In the second place, only a survey with a random sample can bolster a convincing conclusion. Unfortunately, the arguer fails to describe the procedure for random samplings, so it is worthwhile to doubt whether the respondents are representative of the overall of the population of Mason City. Maybe, the participants of the survey happened to be the member of a committee of swimming. In that case, the survey would rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation indubitably, however, the interest of most residents in water sports is just so so.

Assuming the residents of Mason City do love water sports most, it keep uncertain whether the Mason City council need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. Common sense tells us that the revenue of municipality is always scant, however, there many are large demand for investment, such as raise the income of underprivileged family, improve the public health service, ameliorate local schools etc which may be more exigent. Without taking account into those factors, the arguer can hardly make any sound recommendation.

To sum up, the recommendation of the arguer rests on two qualifications, one is that the residents of Mason City do consider water sports as the favorite sports, the other one there are no improvement more imperative than investment on improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. Nevertheless, the argument contains neither, so the argument dooms to fail to make sense

solartorchUID: 2244205

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Mason City council increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. To support his or her recommendation, he or she cites the surveys of the region's residents consistently ranking water sports(swimming, fishing and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Additionally, he or she points out that the agency responsible for rivers in their region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. On the basis of that, he or she reason that  recreational use of the river is likely to increase. In my view, the argument suffers from a series of logical flaws which render it not so convincing as it stands.虽然我知道这是我个人意见还是不得不说一下，开头其实不必要restate，你想啊，那阅卷的一上来看你把题目有改动的又重复了一遍，映像就不好，有这个时间还不如在底下论述上多写写。

In the first place, the survey should be statistically reliable, however, in this argument we can find no sign for the sample size of the survey, so we can not help to doubting whether the survey enroll enough people so as to be representative of all the residents of Mason City. For example, maybe the population of the residents adds up to 1000000, but there are only 100 participants. For that matter,  the survey can not prove that water sports turns out to be the favorite sport of the residents of Mason City.  先说基数不知道

In the second place, only a survey with a random sample can bolster a convincing conclusion. Unfortunately, the arguer fails to describe the procedure for random samplings, so it is worthwhile to doubt whether the respondents are representative of the overall of the population of Mason City. Maybe, the participants of the survey happened to be the member of a committee of swimming. In that case, the survey would rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation indubitably, however, the interest of most residents in water sports is just so so. just so so口语里面用得比较多吧

Assuming the residents of Mason City do love water sports most, it keep uncertain whether the Mason City council need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. Common sense tells us that the revenue of municipality is always scant, however, there many are There many are? large demand for investment, 这里such as 后面都要跟名词such as raise the income of underprivileged family, improve the public health service, ameliorate local schools etc which may be more exigent. Without taking account into those factors, the arguer can hardly make any sound recommendation.

To sum up, the recommendation of the arguer rests on two qualifications, one is that the residents of Mason City do consider water sports as the favorite sports, the other one there are no improvement more imperative than investment on improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. Nevertheless, the argument contains neither, so the argument dooms to fail to make sense

总结一下，楼主词汇量不错。不过这道题有点欠考虑。限制条件其实不止两条，楼主把自己给说死了。比如agent说他们有plan去clean river, 有plan就一定可行吗？或者即使residents of Mason City rank water sports as a favorite form,难道就一定要去Mason River吗，其他的river呢？survey的两段完全可以并成一段。写之前一定要考虑全面，不要忘了AW是代替以前的逻辑分析部分。

冬天的鹰UID: 2191930

我想楼主和1楼的朋友可能都忽略了一点，GRE作文考察的不仅仅是写作的能力，argument也不仅仅是要求你来在文章里挑毛病。题目中，通过一系列的逻辑推理，作者得到了一个结论：我们应该如何如何，而这个逻辑过程是有瑕疵的，需要你来分析，找出逻辑链条，找出链条中的瑕疵，尤其是最关键的瑕疵，并且对这个薄弱点进行攻击。

那么就这个具体的题目来看，结论是我们要增加预算，目的是让马森河岸公共设施变得更好，原因是1、2、3。我们可以看出来，结论和目的是紧密相连的，如果目的不成立，那么结论也就不成立了。所以我看到这个题目，第一个问题就是，目前马森河两岸的公共设施不够好吗？究竟有多差劲？目前的预算无法达到提高公共设施水平的目的吗？如果这个问题不能得到很好的回答，那么增加预算是没有意义的行为。而如果这个问题的确存在，那么哪怕原因1、2、3全是错误的，我们也应该考虑增加预算以改善公共设施。

这样说，不知道楼主会不会觉得有道理呢？会不会觉得你的攻击太过漫无目的了呢？