Issue61 【07-10G Superstar 大帖】第六次作业 by gyyx

gyyxUID: 2290150

Issue 61
2007-6-13
According to the title statement, high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition. While I agree that only a few people deserve the high-profile awards, I insist that these high-profile awards do not harm to our society.

Firstly, it is truth that only a few people could reward the high-profile awards because the awards are limited, and it is to the person who really deserve it, especially the global awards such as Nobel Prize, Abel Prize , an award with the name “the Nobel Prize in math. Admittedly, in our childhood, we all have the dream of being a big scientist, who would win Nobel Prize, but most of us farewell the dream when we grow up for our capability, personal interest and other factors. The remained few, by preserving unremittingly, even sacrificing their personal life, their family, and even themselves, attain it in the end. These few people who we often called scientist or artist deserve the high-profile awards for the time and the profile they have already paid.

However, the reason why these people like Einstein and Newton award the prizes is that not also their expenses deserve such recognition, but also their achievements benefit the society in a lot of aspects. For example, attribute to Rontgen, the founder of X ray, we can see our body in a new way that help us to find out the illness we are suffering from. And without the discovery of gene, which be defined by Morgan, the first geneticist of Nobel Prize, we may not know how we human being and other creation compose. Another example in China, YuanLongPing, with the name of father of paddy rice in China, whose achievement contribute to the solution of our food, won the first National Highest Science Award in 2000.  There are lots of other examples supporting this, which, I have no space to explore in detail.

Although, not everyone can be a scientist, it did not hinder us to pursue the dream of scientist, which high-profile awards is an impetus for this. As a result of this, more and more people dedicate themselves to science research and more and more fulfillments that can make our life more convenient and more comfortable achieved. Development of technology advance development of society, as all we confess. Additionally, rewarding high-profile award is not the only way to approve our efforts. As we have an invention, we can put it into production, which can also make profile. With a proud fruitful result, we are soundly inspired in spirit. All this did not do any harm to society.

To conclude, high-profile awards did not damage to society, despite only a few people deserve it, however, it play a positive role in the development of technology and society, as it can inspire people to pursue more achievements.

laura001UID: 2295927

According to the title statement, high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition. While I agree that only a few people deserve the high-profile awards, I insist that these high-profile awards do not harm to our society.


Firstly, it is truth that only a few people could reward the high-profile awards because the awards are limited, and it is to the person who really deserve it, especially the global awards such as Nobel Prize, Abel Prize , an award with the name “the Nobel Prize in math. Admittedly, in our childhood, we all have the dream of being a big scientist, who would win Nobel Prize, but most of us farewell the dream when we grow up for our capability, personal interest and other factors. (你还是说是你自己,不要OUR,WE的,ETS不一定也想做科学家啊,有点将你观点强加于人)The remained few, by preserving unremittingly, even sacrificing their personal life, their family, and even themselves, attain it in the end. These few people who we often called scientist or artist deserve the high-profile which awards for the time and the profile they have already paid.


However, the reason why these people like Einstein and Newton award the prizes is that not also(?是not only...but also...) their expenses deserve such recognition, but also their achievements benefit the society in a lot of aspects. For example, attribute to Rontgen, the founder of X ray, we can see our body (我们公用一个身体?)in a new way that help us to find out the illness we are suffering from. And without the discovery of gene, which be defined by Morgan, the first geneticist of Nobel Prize, we may not know how we human being and other creation compose. Another example in China, YuanLongPing, with the name of father of paddy rice in China, whose achievement contribute to the solution of our food, won the first National Highest Science Award in 2000.  [There are lots of other examples supporting this, which, I have no space to explore in detail. ] (这句个人觉得不太少,尤其划横线那句,感觉就是告诉ETS,不是我不写啊,是位置不够~,最后这句你可以总结下,或继续论证你的主题)


Although, not everyone can be a scientist, it did not hinder us to pursue the dream of scientist, which high-profile awards is an impetus for this. As a result of this, more and more people dedicate themselves to science research and more and more  不要都这词,换词 fulfillments that can make our life more convenient and more( 不要都是MORE) comfortable achieved. Development of technology advance development of society, as all we confess. Additionally, rewarding high-profile award is not the only way to approve our efforts. As we have an invention, we can put it into production, which can also make profile. With a proud fruitful result, we are soundly inspired in spirit. All this did not do any harm to society. (这段语言不太地道,简单句比较多,可以整合下~)

To conclude, high-profile awards did not damage to society, despite only a few people deserve it, however, it plays a positive role in the development of technology and society, as it can inspire people to pursue more achievements.


总结:1写的时候最好附个提纲,
       2有些地方语言不够地道,比较口语话,还有些重句结构有点乱.看了感觉文章有亮点的地方不多.  建议可以多看下北美范文

第1次写这样已经很不错了~呵呵,继续加油! :)

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-16 01:25 编辑 ]