issue144 [0710G Victors互助小组]第7次作业 by Lemon

lemon71500UID: 2335516

Issue144 “It is the artist, not the critic*, who gives society something of lasting value”
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

In this issue the speaker told us that something with permanent value is brought to the society by their producer, the artist, not by the people with commentaries on it. Here from a narrow sight it can be indicated that indeed it is the artist who create many masterpieces which can be regarded as treasure in human history, yet critic should not be commented as someone gives the society a lasting value, in fact their importance is manifested in the process of finding and assessing these classic works, and there is no conflict with the role of artist. Here we need an objective cognition about their positions in the process of forming the value of many masterpieces.

Admittedly, artist is the fundamental element of some classic works with persistent value in human history, without them we can clearly accept the truth that no such values would be produced, and simultaneously critics lost their positions and influence in this topic, conspicuously this attitude conforms to the speaker's point. And a world without artists and their masterpieces is easily to imagine, everyday tedious books are in our hands, at the same time watching some dull films or listening to coarse music is the main method to kill time, without color and no picture attracts our eyes, this is absolute a disaster in human culture and society.

However, fortunately in human history we didn't lack of good writers, directors, or painters etc, but when appreciating their works quickly and thoroughly we should turn to critics, whose main function is to lead us to know and receive these arts and distinguishes them from other ordinary ones, in another word, a critic likes a business man who can exactly detect and assess what the value these masterpieces deserve. Without them, maybe these brilliant artists and their splendid works ruin in the long human history and can't be discovered and protected by the society. Some geniuses like the famous musician Mozart, whose masterpieces can't be accepted by his contemporary society and at last died gloomily, when we are enjoying his works joyfully and sniggering with the discovery of them under modern critics' help, we need to consider there may be more and better music which are disappeared without a good critic's guidance.

But at the same time we should know the critics are not right all the time, sometimes there are plenty of critics, without a just and straightforward behavior, advocate some secondary works and make spurious advertisement for them, especially under an impulse of benefits. Yet in this situation at last truth is the truth and can't be killed only with minority speeches, because inferior arts elapse gradually, in contrast, the masterpieces would be examined and accepted by the public and time at last, so to some extent, we can assert the lasting and final critics are human-being and time.

In sum, artist create these masterpieces, but around the judgments to an outstanding works, a critic is a pioneer and our guider, both have significant influence in a verdict of the issue whether a work has a lasting value, here the most we need is a proper and objective cognition with their different effects.

[ 本帖最后由 expire7 于 2007-6-21 23:05 编辑 ]

expire7UID: 2160574

seat taken

expire7UID: 2160574

Issue144 “It is the artist, not the critic*, who gives society something of lasting value”
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

In this issue the speaker told us that something with permanent value is brought to the society by their producer, the artist, not by the people with commentaries on it.（重复原题观点，正常开头方式） Here from a narrow sight it can be indicated that indeed it is the artist who create many masterpieces which can be regarded as treasure in human history, yet critic should not be commented as someone gives the society a lasting value, in fact their importance is manifested in the process of finding and assessing these classic works, and there is no conflict with the role of artist.（句式结果混乱。It一开始指代不清楚。我比较钝看不懂。而且如果按照我看懂得意思，这一句并不是阐明你的观点，而是展开标题。而且后面半句有语法错误的嫌疑。） Here we need an objective cognition about their positions in the process of forming the value of many masterpieces.（开头段挺冗余的。而且自己的观点看的不是很明白。开头段要简单直接，最多3句话解决问题）

Admittedly, artist is the fundamental element of some classic works with persistent value in human history, （这里并不觉得是并列的句子，又是语法错误。此外，你缺少主题句。）without them we can clearly accept the truth that no such values would be produced, and simultaneously critics lost their positions and influence in this topic, conspicuously this attitude conforms to the speaker's point. And a world without artists and their masterpieces is easily to imagine（be imaged）, everyday tedious books are in our hands, at the same time watching some dull films or listening to coarse music is the main method to kill time, without color and no picture attracts our eyes, this is absolute a disaster in human culture and society.(全部都是同样的语法错误。无连词。过分并列，到底谁是你的论点，谁是你的论据，一团乱。从内容上看，前后联系太差。逻辑联系不够。没有明显的层层连接的感觉。)

However, fortunately in human history we didn't lack of good writers, directors, or painters etc, but when appreciating their works quickly and thoroughly we should turn to critics, whose main function is to lead us to know and receive these arts and distinguishes them from other ordinary ones, in another word, （前面没问题，这里又缺少连词。换个句号就行了。）a critic likes a business man who can exactly detect and assess what the value these masterpieces deserve. Without them, maybe these brilliant artists and their splendid works ruin in the long human history and can't be discovered and protected by the society. Some geniuses like the famous musician Mozart, whose masterpieces can't be accepted by his contemporary society and at last died gloomily,（莫扎特的例子不错，不过后面似乎和莫扎特没有联系。不过又没有断句。而且最后半句也明显与前面的无联系了。） when we are enjoying his works joyfully and sniggering with the discovery of them under modern critics' help, we need to consider there may be more and better music which are disappeared without a good critic's guidance.（基本语法是个极大的毛病。长句的用法要适度）

But at the same time we should know the critics are not right all the time, sometimes there are plenty of critics, without a just and straightforward behavior, advocate some secondary works and make spurious advertisement for them, especially under an impulse of benefits. Yet in this situation at last truth is the truth and can't be killed（玷污似乎更好） only with minority speeches, because inferior arts elapse gradually, in contrast, the masterpieces would be examined and accepted by the public and time at last, so to some extent, we can assert the lasting and final critics are human-being and time.（毛病依旧）

In sum, artist create these masterpieces, but around the judgments to an outstanding works, a critic is a pioneer and our guider, both have significant influence in a verdict of the issue whether a work has a lasting value, here the most we need is a proper and objective cognition with their different effects.（结尾段还是need cognition。你的观点该抬出来了。）

先练习语法

接着提高逻辑联系

其他的都还好。要想更进一步，需要首先完成这两点的改进。

说理还是略显空洞。

lemon71500UID: 2335516

谢谢版主,我会加油的.