Issue48 【SWEETBOX小组】第六次作业 by 小破孩

小破孩UID: 2125288

Issue48
"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

Words: 627
Individuals like heroes, are mostly considered as the same as other water droplets flowing peacefully in the river of history. Nowadays, increasing number of people pay more attention about whether we have placed too much emphasis on them, giving the solid foundation of the supporting public at significant historical events. As far as I am concerned, both individuals and the mass public exert enormous effects at the historical trends. Thus, in order to give an objective evaluation of these trends in the history, we should take a balancing consideration upon both parties.

To begin with, only with sustainable support from the general public, can individuals surmount the challenges, making great achievements. This point can be better illustrated by comparing with the building of architectures. No matter what type of buildings will be designed, what functions they may serve or how much financial investment has been put, without a solid foundation, no one can ensure its safety long-term usage. Similarly, without support and understanding from the crowd, hardly can any individual push forward the social evolution. For example, during the industrial revolution in Europe, innovative inventions from various countries prompt the technology development and social modernization. With exertion from countries from almost all continents, people adore peace and equity all over the world win the World War. From collective wisdom, experience and belief of generations and generations of people, a nation gradually form its distinguish culture or religion. Also, scientific breakthroughs are basic on the cumulative discoveries and approval from previous people. Therefore, it is not exaggerate to say that the mass pubic are the pre-requisite for any significant events to be successful.

On the other hand, individuals, not only as representatives at particular historical events, but also serve as legend in the history, encouraging us to devote our life to what we believe, whose existence has more practical meanings. Just as leaders are always needed in a corporate, checking out the task processes, planning the company's development strategies, or responding to any enquires and questions, individual are also necessary to represent the historical events. Paul Revere, well known for his "Midnight Ride" in the battle of Lexington and Concord in the American Revolutionary War, is considered as patriotic symbol of the United States. Though some historical critics may argue others' involvement in the Ride, yet the importance of the praise of Paul Revere is not about the accuracy of the event, but setting up a legend for the nation. The emphasis on individuals in our remembrance could foster us to overcome barriers and stimulate us to purchase perfections of our life. Therefore, the emphasis upon individuals contributes both to our self-development and social progression as a whole.

Moreover, from time to time, historical record put multiple merits on particular individual for the convenience of passing on those charitable spirits. Children are always the loyal listener of attractive stories. When we were small, parents always told us the stories of famous scientific discoveries or brave heroes saving the world, with some of these stories actually happened in history and some others actually are the combinations of various insightful events. It is understandable that with limited resources and lacking of accurate records, some historical events remain a blur to us. Still, from generation to generation, people add experiences into these fuzzy images, giving us vivid features and spread their charming characters.

Taken together, there is no denying that both outstanding individual and the mass public contribute significantly to historical trends. Neither of them could be neglected. The good qualities of individuals produce far-reaching influence upon the moral development of adolescence. Also, the foundation from groups of people is indispensable in history. Both of them exert energetic impact on our lives and society, helping us head towards the bright future.

wchao69UID: 2209794

Individuals like heroes, are mostly considered as(觉得改成to be好一点，否则觉得拗口) the same as other water droplets flowing peacefully in the river of history. Nowadays, increasing number of people pay more？ attention about whether we have placed too much emphasis on them, giving the solid foundation of the supporting public at significant historical events. As far as I am concerned, both individuals and the mass public（我查了一下，似乎这种用法很少） exert enormous effects at the historical trends. Thus, in order to give an objective evaluation of these trends in the history, we should take a balancing consideration upon both parties.

To begin with, only with sustainable support from the general public, can individuals surmount the challenges, making great achievements. This point can be better illustrated by comparing with the building of architectures. （这个例子觉得好）No matter what type of buildings will be designed, what functions they may serve or how much financial investment has been put, without a solid foundation, no one can ensure its safely long-term usage. Similarly, without support and understanding from the crowd, hardly can any individual push forward the social evolution. For example, during the industrial revolution in Europe, innovative inventions from various countries prompt the technology development and social modernization. With exertion from countries from almost all continents, people adore peace and equity all over the world win the World War(这句语法有问题). From collective wisdom, experience and belief of generations and generations of people, a nation gradually form its distinguish culture or religion. Also, scientific breakthroughs are basic on the cumulative discoveries and approval from previous people. Therefore, it is not exaggerated to say that the mass pubic are the pre-requisite for any significant events to be successful.

On the other hand, individuals, not only as representatives at particular historical events, but also serve as legend in the history, encouraging us to devote our life to what we believe, whose existence has more practical meanings(觉得这句话结构有点问题). Just as leaders are always needed in a corporate, checking out the task processes, planning the company's development strategies, or responding to any enquires and questions, individual are also necessary to represent the historical events. Paul Revere, well known for his "Midnight Ride" in the battle of Lexington and Concord in the American Revolutionary War, is considered as patriotic symbol of the United States. Though some historical critics may argue others' involvement in the Ride, yet the importance of the praise of Paul Revere is not about the accuracy of the event, but setting up a legend for the nation. The emphasis on individuals in our remembrance could foster us to overcome barriers and stimulate us to purchase perfections of our life. Therefore, the emphasis upon individuals contributes both to our self-development and social progression as a whole.

Moreover, from time to time, historical record put multiple merits on particular individual for the convenience of passing on those charitable spirits. Children are always the loyal listener of attractive stories. When we were small, parents always told us the stories of famous scientific discoveries or brave heroes saving the world, with some of these stories actually happened in history and some others actually are the combinations of various insightful events. It is understandable that with limited resources and lacking of accurate records, some historical events remain a blur to us. Still, from generation to generation, people add experiences into these fuzzy images, giving us vivid features and spread their charming characters.

Taken together, there is no denying that both outstanding individuals and the mass public contribute significantly to historical trends. Neither of them could be neglected. The good qualities of individuals produce far-reaching influence upon the moral development of adolescence. Also, the foundation from groups of people is indispensable in history. Both of them exert energetic impact on our lives and society, helping us head towards the bright future.

整体感觉不错。值得学习。

我明明标了颜色，可是总是发帖的时候不能显示。。。。。。。。。。


[ 本帖最后由 wchao69 于 2007-6-30 22:12 编辑 ]

jiangyue011UID: 2340595

Individuals like heroes, are mostly considered as the same as other water droplets flowing peacefully in the river of history. Nowadays, increasing number of people pay more attention about (to) whether we have placed too much emphasis on them, giving the solid foundation of the supporting public at significant historical events. As far as I am concerned, both individuals and the mass public（public,我觉得有点迷惑的是individual一般就代表了public,要形成对比我觉得用优秀的个人更好点） exert enormous effects at (这个介词我觉得on更恰当点) the historical trends. Thus, in order to give an objective evaluation of these trends in the history, we should take a balancing (动名词形式好像是平衡作用, 应该用balanced) consideration upon both parties.

To begin with, only with sustainable support from the general public, can individuals surmount the challenges, making great achievements (making用在这不构成平行结构,我觉得换成and make 好点). This point can be better illustrated by comparing with the building of architectures. No matter what type of buildings will be designed, what functions they may serve or how much financial investment has been put, without a solid foundation, no one can ensure its safely long-term usage. Similarly, without support and understanding from the crowd, hardly can any individual (individuals) push forward the social evolution. For example, during the industrial revolution in Europe, innovative inventions from various countries prompt the technology development and social modernization.(发明跟大众的作用好像不是直接的联系,我觉得) With exertion from countries from (on) almost all continents, people adore peace and equity all over the world win the World War(这句语法有问题). From collective wisdom, experience and belief of generations and generations of people, a nation gradually form its distinguish (distinguished) culture or religion. Also, scientific breakthroughs are basic on the cumulative discoveries and approval from previous people. Therefore, it is not exaggerated to say that the mass pubic are the pre-requisite for any significant events to be successful. (觉得 significant successful events更好)

On the other hand, individuals, not only as representatives at particular historical events, but also serve as legend in the history, encouraging us to devote our life to what we believe, whose existence has more practical meanings (呵呵,写长句你也会犯错误拉). Just as leaders are always needed in a corporate, checking(感觉用不定式好于动名词) out the task processes, planning the company's development strategies, or responding to any enquires and questions, individual(复数) are also necessary to represent the historical events. Paul Revere, well known for his "Midnight Ride" in the battle of Lexington and Concord in the American Revolutionary War, is considered as patriotic symbol of the United States. Though some historical critics may argue others' involvement in the Ride, yet the importance of the praise of Paul Revere is not about the accuracy of the event, but setting up a legend for the nation. (Fragment, consider revising) The emphasis on individuals in our remembrance could foster us to overcome barriers and stimulate us to purchase perfections of our life.(为什么,我觉得似乎这点还要再添一句论述的文字才通顺.) Therefore, the emphasis upon individuals contributes both to our self-development and social progression as a whole.

Moreover, from time to time, historical record put multiple merits on particular individual for the convenience of passing on those charitable spirits. Children are always the loyal listener(listeners)of attractive stories. When we were small, parents always told us the stories of famous scientific discoveries or brave heroes saving the world, with some of these stories actually happened in history and some others actually are the combinations of various insightful events. It is understandable that with limited resources and lacking of accurate records (也不构成平行结构), some historical events remain a blur to us. Still, from generation to generation, people add experiences into these fuzzy images, giving us vivid features and spread their charming characters. (这段最后说资源不完整 may not have much to do with your TS.)

Taken together, there is no denying that both outstanding individuals and the mass public contribute significantly to historical trends. Neither of them could be neglected. The good qualities of individuals produce far-reaching influence upon the moral development of adolescence. Also, the foundation from groups of people is indispensable in history. Both of them exert energetic impact on our lives and society, helping us head towards the bright future.

这篇文章我的确好像有跑题的嫌疑了,呵呵. 但我怎么感觉你这篇好像也没有能体现你的真是水平,不知道是不是限时的关系,是以前写的, 或者是和我一样没用心写呢,呵呵. 用了很多长句,但是好像好多句子结构有问题. 你这篇只论述了个人和集体在历史中的作用, 我觉得还可以稍微提下历史研究的问题.
Anyway, 我觉得有一些题目有两个论点的(1+1)有点tricky 的味道, 比如说130等,不过好像也好写了点, 可以围绕两个方面展开.另外不知道你看过47没有, 我个人觉得论述论述IQ和EQ的重要似乎也有跑题的嫌疑, 因为题目不是说重要性而是说社会是否对其有重视, 不知道你怎么看.