寄托天下
查看: 807|回复: 1

[a习作temp] Argument209 [Victors小组]7月4日作业 by c0053 [复制链接]

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
387
注册时间
2006-12-19
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2007-7-5 16:49:04 |显示全部楼层
题目:ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
字数:391          用时:上午 12:45:00         

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Fancy Toy Company's(FT) president Pat Salvo should be replaced by Rosa Winnings, who is currently president of Starlight Jewelry(SJ) although the salary may doubled. To justify his claim, the arguer points out the profits of FT have fallen in the last three quarters of this year, while the profits in SJ have increased dramatically. This argument is problematic for several reasons.

In the first place, it may not be the FT's president's fault to have decreased the company's profits. It is quite possible that FT encountered great competition of other enterprises or the cost of their products rose dramatically. The arguer fails to take into account other possible reasons and makes a hasty linkage between the decline profits and the performance of FT's president. To further illustrate his points, the author needs to provide evidence that it is the president's unwise decisions and behaviors that drive the company to a worse condition.

On the second place, the arguer fails to convince us that Rosa will performance better than FT's current president. His only evidence is that the profits of SJ have increased over the past several years. Without pointing out the similarities between FT and SJ and analyzing Rosa's ability to get used to the new company quickly, the decision to hire Rosa as the president seems ungrounded. As is known to all, different companies have different policies and strategies, whether the new president will do in a totally new circumstances as successful as she does before is unknown to everybody, thus it is an immature idea to let Rose take Pat's place.

In addition, the twice money FT should pay to their new president may be an unnecessary burden for the company if Rosa does no better than the former one.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the decreased profits and president Pat's performance. Further, he doesn't supply enough reasons to change Pat to Rosa.  To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide evidence that it is Pat's fault to have made the company act worse. The author also needs to give evidence that Rosa will perform better than Pat. Every company needs to adjust their employees due to their grades but it is crucial to make careful investigation before the decisions have been made.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
387
注册时间
2006-12-19
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2007-7-7 13:11:05 |显示全部楼层
修改稿,再次求拍~~

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Fancy Toy Company's(FT) president Pat Salvo should be replaced by Rosa Winnings, who is currently president of Starlight Jewelry(SJ) although the salary may doubled. To justify his claim, the arguer points out the profits of FT have fallen in the last three quarters of this year, while the profits in SJ have increased dramatically. This argument is problematic for several reasons.

In the first place, the arguer unfairly assumes that the president’s performance is the only significant factor of the company’s fallen profit. However, this is not possibly the case, a myriad of other possible factors can also lead to the decline of the profit. For example, FT may encounter great competition thus their share of market has fallen. The cost of their products may have risen and the employees of FT may have negative attitudes toward their work and the productivity may drop. Without accounting for and ruling out these alternative reasons, the arguer cannot convincingly conclude that the company’s fallen profit is the result of its president and that the change of president will bring any improvement of this situation.

In the second place, the arguer fails to convince us that Rosa played a crucial role in SJ’s rise of profit. Without any evidence to prove that it is Rosa’s work that benefits the company, we cannot judge the importance of this president. Maybe it is just the prosperous jewelry market that leads to SJ’s success and little is related to Rosa. Maybe it is because of the new technology which is adopted by SJ thus provides more popular products. Therefore, whether Rosa has a good leadership which will largely improve the performance of a company is doubted.

Finally, even if FT’s decline of profit is due to an incompetent president and Rosa plays a crucial role in SJ’s rise of profit, Rosa may not be able to help FT since there may be differences between FT and SJ in their policies and strategies and Rosa may have difficulties to get used to the new company. The former effective methods to improve sales in SJ, say advertisement strategy, may not be useful in FT which emphasizes the advance of technology. Without any evidence to show Rosa’s ability to adapt a quite different company, there is no justification that the new president will do in a totally new circumstances as successful as she does before. Further, the salary we have to pay Rosa is much higher than Pat’s. No evidence is shown that she is worth it. And such a lot of money may be a burden for SJ which is in an unfavorable condition. Therefore, it may be an immature idea to let Rose take Pat's place.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the decreased profits and president Pat's performance. Further, he doesn't supply enough reasons to change Pat to Rosa. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide evidence that it is Pat's fault to have made the company act worse. The author also needs to give evidence that Rosa will perform better than Pat. Every company needs to adjust their employees due to their grades but it is crucial to make careful investigation before the decisions have been made. (548 words)

使用道具 举报

RE: Argument209 [Victors小组]7月4日作业 by c0053 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Argument209 [Victors小组]7月4日作业 by c0053
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-696960-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部