issue16 Although many people think that the luxuries and

amorzUID：1

发信人: foxyhu (橙色双子星), 信区: EnglishTest
标  题: 平安夜，大家抽空批批我的issue作文
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Tue Dec 24 15:30:14 2002), 转信
  
ISSUE 16"Although many people think that the luxuries and
conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless,
in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into
truly strong and independent individuals."
  
*************************
  
In our modern times, we, especially the urban population,
are enjoying the luxurious and convenient lives provided
by our industrial society. Ironically, we encounter much
difficulty in developing ourselves into truly strong and
independent personalities in the modern "harmless" life.
  
Modern technology acts as the extensions of human
beings' arms, legs and brain. But the advanced technology
results in a warm bed where the idleness breeds. The modern
transport facilities shorten the distance and save the time
for us. We fly across the giant ocean, we run through the
continent by train and we drive the cars to anywhere we
prefer. However, people are gradually addicted to the
convenience and speed of these transport machines. We are
unwilling to go on foot even though it is not necessary to
take a car instead of walking. It makes us complain to take
a several minutes' walking. We are not physical infirm, but
spiritually.
  
The only thing that modern people need to do is to keep
following the social system. The industrial essential
principle is trying to seek the maximum efficiency. The
machines, given birth to by us, work all day and night
without any tiredness. Everything runs according to the
mechanical schedule in order to obtain an industrial maximum.
In many enterprises, the computer arranges the daily schedule
for both machines and human. As a tiny gear in a giant machine,
we have to admit all what we should do is just doing as we are
told. It seems unnecessary to ask "WHY". Gradually, we'd rather
follow the way directed by others.
  
The life style is just a catalyst of preventing us from truly
strong and independent individuals. Mainly, The attitudes one
has of life and his personality guide himself. In a biological
lab, a strong frog is placed in a pot filled with cool water.
When the stove under the pot is kindled and the flame is
controlled to the extent in which the small fire is licking
the bottom of the pot mildly. The frog enjoys staying in the
pot while ignoring the water temperature is warmer and warmer.
Finally, the frog loses its life peacefully without any struggle.
As the small fire keeps licking our frog's comfortable pot, the
luxury and convenience are wearing our motivations down.
  
  
We should realize the potential danger following the modern life.
Instead of blaming the luxurious and convenient outside, one
should set up a proper attitude to life and personality development.
(400 words)
  

发信人: stautshi (活宝师弟A), 信区: EnglishTest
标  题: Re: 平安夜，大家抽空批批我的issue作文
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Tue Dec 24 16:04:49 2002), 转信
  
文笔上没问题。没什么错误，但是我总觉得中心不是很突出
第一个论述段和第三个论述段感觉有点重复，都是在说
舒适与方便慢慢磨掉了人的意志。第二段说的是人渐渐
失去了自我的主张，但是应该再强调一些。
  
还有啊，我觉得第一段，你自己的观点提出时，最好不要用原
题里面的字，甚至照搬几个句子，最好用自己的语言写出来。
  
还可以增加这些内容：
现代生活的信息太统一，没有个性，最突出的例子就是所有女性都
减肥，都认为骨感是美，而非常少的人能做到外形有个性。
现在的工作方式让绝大多数人成为高度精密的部件，能够
很好完成交给的任务，但是缺少innovative的想法。


发信人: stautshi (活宝师弟A), 信区: EnglishTest
标  题: Re: 平安夜，大家抽空批批我的issue作文
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Tue Dec 24 16:17:09 2002), 转信
  
In our modern times, we, especially the urban population,
are enjoying the luxurious and convenient lives provided
by our industrial society. Ironically, we encounter much
difficulty in developing ourselves into truly strong and
independent personalities in the modern "harmless" life.
  
being the newest generation in human history, we enjoy the
highest level of living quality and convenience, unparallel to
any civilization in the rive of time. but such a luxurious life
is now slowly and unnoticably wearing away people's independence and
strength in personalities
  
瞎写的，呵呵
【 在 foxyhu (橙色双子星) 的大作中提到: 】
: how could i revise?
  

发信人: stautshi (活宝师弟A), 信区: EnglishTest
标  题: Re: 平安夜，大家抽空批批我的issue作文
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Tue Dec 24 16:35:05 2002), 转信
  
大多数人都是这样的。
你就算背20000个词
能记住的最多10000个
但是你写起作文，或者说出英文的时候
能用的词不超过1000个，所以觉得没什么可写
为什么？因为不会用！
所以我比较反感新东方发起的背单词风潮，纯粹是愚化中国人
本来学语言挺好的，结果弄成这个样子
【 在 foxyhu (橙色双子星) 的大作中提到: 】
: 没有考T
: t是明年5月的
: 现在写得很慢，觉得脑子里面没有东西可写
: 多谢你的鼓励！