issue130 [OB]第2次作业_教育类_stonescj

stonescjUID: 2359180

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." 130． 孩子们的社会化决定着社会的命运。不幸的是，我们还不知道怎样抚养孩子才能使他们对将来的社会有用。
syllabus:
1.赞同前句，socialization对社会发展的重要性。socialization 给孩子带来了什么，教育的重要目的之一培养适应社会需要的人才。
2.赞同后句，我们对socialization的重视不够，家庭和社会...
3.目前教育还有很多漏洞，死记硬背、过分竞争、团队协作能力，校园暴力...
   
  I fundamentally support assertion that the destiny of the society is depend on how children are socialized, nonetheless, we have not yet learned how to raise children efficiently who can construct a flourishing society. It is still a thorny way that needs persons with lofty ideas devoted to it.

    On the one hand, the ultimate purpose of education is to cultivate all-round person with profound academic knowledge and sophisticated ability. That is to say, social education of the children is so important to teenage students that determine the merits such as honesty, persistence, probity and so on, so educators should concentrated on it. Generally, socialization is comprised of interaction with peers, cooperation ability, acclimatization, study capability and so forth. It is necessary to commence on socializing children early. Take middle school for example, middle school times is an important period that form social consciousness and self-awareness, if a child is aggressive and impulsive and deficient in social problem-solving skills, he would also be developed negative reputation among classmates, at this time, how to educate the students and remedy the erroneous behavior of the children are pivotal. Above this, we should realize the importance of the socializing education.

    On the other hand, it is insufficient for the public to recognize on children's socializing education. As for parents, most of them are not emphasis on the home-school education. In fact, according to a new research in Peking University, parents are paragon in children’s mind, therefore, parents' behaviors could influence the deportment of their children. In addition, parents should pay more attention on children's study and communicate with them about something happened in school. As for society, it is indispensable and feasible for the community to provide some opportunities for students to cognize the society and find out abilities they are devoid of. Only all the people attach importance to the education can make the students develop comprehensive.

     Furthermore, how to bring up children to cater to the demand of society is untoward, nowadays, there are also exists several problems in actual education system. Too much emphasis on the educational format has tamper with the essential of the education. Besides, excess competition among the students and school violence are pending problems.

    In conclusion, it is known that the children are the ridgepoles of the society in future. In order to raise children, school and family and community should come together to make all efforts to modify the education system as well as think over the prospect of the society to provide a favorable environment for children.

OB叔UID: 188695

I fundamentally support assertion that the destiny of the society is depend on how children are socialized, nonetheless, we have not yet learned how to raise children efficiently who can construct a flourishing society. It is still a thorny way that needs persons with lofty ideas devoted to it.第一段先提出自己的观点
   
On the one hand, the ultimate purpose of education is to cultivate all-round person with profound academic knowledge and sophisticated ability. That is to say, social education of the children is so important to teenage students that determine the merits such as honesty, persistence, probity and so on, so educators should concentrated on it. Generally, socialization is comprised of interaction with peers, cooperation ability, acclimatization, study capability and so forth. It is necessary to commence on socializing children early. Take middle school 【初中：primary school，高中：high school，没有middle school】for example, middle school times is an important period that form social consciousness and self-awareness, if a child is aggressive and impulsive and deficient in social problem-solving skills, he would also be developed negative reputation among classmates, at this time, how to educate the students and remedy the erroneous behavior of the children are pivotal. Above this, we should realize the importance of the socializing education.
   
On the other hand, it is insufficient for the public to recognize on children's socializing education. As for parents, most of them are not emphasis on the home-school education. In fact, according to a new research in Peking University, parents are paragon in children’s mind, therefore, parents' behaviors could influence the deportment of their children. In addition, parents should pay more attention on children's study and communicate with them about something happened in school. As for society, it is indispensable and feasible for the community to provide some opportunities for students to cognize the society and find out abilities they are devoid of. Only all the people attach importance to the education can make the students develop comprehensive.这里段论述的不错
   
Furthermore, how to bring up children to cater to【cater是迎合的意思，换一下，用meet】 the demand of society is untoward, nowadays, there are also exists several problems in actual education system. Too much emphasis on the educational format has tamper with the essential of the education. Besides, excess competition among the students and school violence are pending problems.
   
In conclusion, it is known that the children are the ridgepoles of the society in future. In order to raise children, school and family and community should come together to make all efforts to modify the education system as well as think over the prospect of the society to provide a favorable environment for children.
  
总的来说你的论述很有条理
我想说的是，你好像对题目的回应不够充分。你说呢？
这篇文章的确部太好写

[ 本帖最后由 Orange&Blue 于 2007-7-15 08:13 编辑 ]

chentian_nkUID: 2340104

I fundamentally support assertion that the destiny of the society is depend on how children are socialized, nonetheless, we have not yet learned how to raise children efficiently who can construct a flourishing society. It is still a thorny way that needs persons with lofty ideas devoted to it.（开头模板也已经确定了，我也从中学习不少hoho）

    On the one hand, the ultimate purpose of education is to cultivate all-round person with profound academic knowledge and sophisticated ability. That is to say, social education of the children is so important to teenage students that determine the merits such as honesty, persistence, probity and so on, so educators should concentrated on it.写作模式已经出来了hoho Generally, socialization is comprised of interaction with peers, cooperation ability, acclimatization, study capability and so forth. It is necessary to commence on socializing children early. Take middle school for example, middle school times is an important period that form social consciousness and self-awareness, if a child is aggressive and impulsive and deficient in social problem-solving skills, he would also be developed negative reputation among classmates, at this time, how to educate the students and remedy the erroneous behavior of the children are pivotal. Above this, we should realize the importance of the socializing education.对socialized的定义比较好，很标准的模式化写作。羡慕ing

    On the other hand, it is insufficient for the public to recognize on children's socializing education. As for parents, most of them are not emphasis on the home-school education. In fact, according to a new research in Peking University, parents are paragon in children’s mind, therefore, parents' behaviors could influence the deportment of their children. In addition, parents should pay more attention on children's study and communicate with them about something happened in school. As for society, it is indispensable and feasible for the community to provide some opportunities for students to cognize the society and find out abilities they are devoid of. Only all the people attach importance to the education can make the students develop comprehensive.（不够不等于不知道，从好写的方面来看，持保留观点好写一些：我们知道一些养孩子的方法，但是不够。这样可能回应的就会更好些，内容也会丰满些）

     Furthermore, how to bring up children to cater to the demand of society is untoward, nowadays, there are also exists several problems in actual education system. Too much emphasis on the educational format has tamper with the essential of the education. Besides, excess competition among the students and school violence are pending problems。

    In conclusion, it is known that the children are the ridgepoles of the society in future. In order to raise children, school and family and community should come together to make all efforts to modify the education system as well as think over the prospect of the society to provide a favorable environment for children.

框架模板已经成形了。挺好的。我现在的模板还没有成形。
语句读起来好顺畅。要好好学习～～～致敬~~~

stonescjUID: 2359180

多谢多谢，我要好好修改下了:)