issue144【07-10G 梦开始的地方】 第4次作文 by messiah229

messiah229UID: 2209538

issue144. "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society some thing of lasting value."
1.     表明态度:有保留地赞成
2.    艺术家是艺术的主创者的原因:A,他们能敏锐洞悉并反映他们所生活的时代.B.艺术家的专业视角和技术使他们站在比平凡人更高的角度创作.C,艺术家创造出不朽的精神财富.
3.    批评家的地位不可忽略:A.能避免艺术家在过高的赞扬中迷失自我,帮助他们自省B作为过滤器帮助人们挑选真正的艺术品.但最重要的前提是,批评家必须保持绝对公平的态度去评价艺术.
4.    总结,艺术家与批评家的角色不一样导致了他们的创作信仰和准则不一样.伟大的艺术品需要他们的共同参与才能诞生.

Speaking of artistic achievements, people would associate them with the greatest painters, musicians, playwrights, etc.I agree with the speaker to some extent that the artist do creat resplendent treassures to the society and humanity.Nevertheless,the statement fails to account for the important function of the critic.In my view,the two to the art and society are the same way as eyes and ears to human,both of which worth our attention.
   To support the speaker’s admiration of artists we can find three reasons.Firstly,it is the artists’s perspicacious view on the historical background in which they lived that reflected different times’ distincted panoramas.For example,the painters and sculptors of the Mideval period sought the eccence of the humanity through their representation of the Modanna and Child to reassure and be reassured about the messages of Christian redemption and salvation.While Renaissance art focused on other Christian themes-especially those involving the crucifixing and apocalyptic notions of judgement and damnation.Later,during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries,an new raised genteel class found themselves reflected in the bourgeois themes of impressionists such as Monet.Then turn our attention to some influential painters in twentieth century:Picasso,whose painting style reflects the complex psychological profile of his eccentric inner world.Thus,we can say that the greatest artists are somehow like mirrors which reflects the periods they lived in. Secondly,artists can undoubtedly stand on a higher position than us populace according to their professional perception and training.As the proverb goes,art roots in life while transcends life.Why the world-famous masterpiece<Mona lisa> ,which only contain a characterless woman who could be saw anywhere,but can throw such a great aesthetic impression on us?It is because that its creater Da Vinci grasped great artistic skills to represent the essence of maternity,hope,peace and true humanity which only sleep in our latent minds.He held the believe that the artists should know both the rules of perceptions and laws in nature,which could be best illustrated by only artists. Thirdly,the artists create spirit wealth that would last forever. Other than the material wealth, more significant thing is that valuable art works nurture people’s mind and mental world. Great art works provides endless spirit supply though advocating the good qualifications of human world, and attacking the ugly and evil thought. Reading excellent literature can teach us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life,which help us understand the world more deeply.<The old man and the sea>provides us with courage to overcome the hardship we confront in the life. Listening to music can appease our mind and purify our soul.Mozart’s euphonious movements lead us to a fire-new mental world.Therefor,when we mention art,what come to our minds first are these great artists’names.
   
However,we can’t overlook the important part critics play. If the critics are absent,artists are easily strayed in self-satiscation –the most barricade in their way to achieve more progress.Thus,some of the constructive critics can not only help artists keep a clear mind to prevent losing themselves in overstate praise from the public but also inspire them to retrospect themselves deeply to bring up more luminous creative sparks.In addition,critics can also benefit the society a lot through its function as a filter,with the help of which we can choose art truly worthwile our time and money  among so many hodgepodge creatures.Moreover,there exists the most important prerequisition - critics must keep a absolutely balance eye on the artists’creature,without which the critics would hamper the progress of the arts in deed. Critics should not be too careful to give any definition to an artifice.For instance,it’s right that if a critic have an antipathy to Dali’s odd aesthetic vision,yet he couldn’t deny the significant position Dali occupied in the sect of surrealistic images.
   
To sum up,according to different roles they play,artists’and critihcs’ working relegions are fundamentally different.In order to add multicolored hues to our quotidian life artists could form their own styles varied from one to another  no matter how distinct or rediculous it seems like.Yet,the critics must hold exactly objective standards in their mind that can give constructive advice to artists.It can be easily concluded that artists and critics are eccencial supplement.As the time pass,the greatest feasts are those created by artists and evaluated by critics,which wouldn’t fade away forever.

丽泽亭主人UID: 2307334

I feel sorry that the correction work has to be postponed 'cause I 'm packed up today:(
Maybe tomorrow I wiil try to deal with it:)
Thanks again for your hard work! Really appreciate!

丽泽亭主人UID: 2307334

Speaking of artistic achievements, people would associate them with the greatest painters, musicians, playwrights, etc.I agree with the speaker to some extent that the artist do creat resplendent treassures to the society and humanity.Nevertheless,the statement fails to account for the important function of the critic.(这话听着感觉像ARGU)In my view,the two to the art and society are the same way as eyes and ears to human（？）,both of which are worth our attention.
   To support the speaker’s admiration of（for） artists we can find three reasons.Firstly,it is the artists’s(artist’s) perspicacious view on the historical background in which they lived that reflected different times’ distincted(distinct) panoramas.For example,the painters and sculptors of the Mideval period sought the eccence(essence) of the humanity through their representation of the Modanna and Child to reassure( 缺少宾语) and be reassured about the messages of Christian redemption and salvation.（汗，没看明白意思）While Renaissance art focused on other Christian themes-especially those involving the crucifixing and apocalyptic notions of judgement（judgment） and damnation.Later,during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries,an new raised genteel class found themselves reflected in the bourgeois themes of impressionists such as Monet.Then turn our attention to some influential painters in twentieth century:Picasso,whose painting style reflects the complex psychological profile of his eccentric inner world.(这句没有讲完，只有主语)Thus,we can say that the greatest artists are somehow like mirrors which reflects the periods they lived in.（举了三个例子，只出现了一句总结的话，还需要继续分析，艺术作品反映时代所带来的意义是什么？） Secondly,artists can undoubtedly stand on（in） a higher position than us populace according to their professional perception and training.As the proverb goes,art roots in life while transcends life.（这句话的意思是艺术植根于生活同时又高于生活？）Why the world-famous masterpiece<Mona lisa> ,which only contain a characterless woman who could be saw（seen） anywhere,but(delete) can(这个词应该放到why后面) throw（？） such a great aesthetic impression on us?It is because that(delete) its creater（creator） Da Vinci grasped great artistic skills to represent the essence of maternity,hope,peace and true humanity which only(delete) sleep in our latent minds.He held the believe(belief) that the(delete) artists should know both the rules of perceptions(?) and laws(law是人造的) in nature,which could be best illustrated by only artists.（绝对了） Thirdly,the artists create spirit wealth that would（will） last forever. Other than the material wealth, more significant thing is that valuable art works nurture people’s mind and mental world. Great art works provides(delete s) endless spirit supply though advocating the good qualifications of human world, and attacking the ugly and evil thought(s). Reading excellent literature can teach us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life,which help us understand the world more deeply.<The old man and the sea>provides us with courage to overcome the hardship we (are) confront(ed) (with) in the(our) life. Listening to music can appease our mind and purify our soul.Mozart’s euphonious movements lead us to a fire-new mental world.Therefor,when we mention art,what come to our minds first are these great artists’names.(当我们提到艺术的时候，最先映入脑海的是这写艺术家的名字。我想前面那个艺术是不是可以换一下，改成lasting value)   
However,we can’t overlook(ignore,overlook是客观的) the important part critics play. If the critics are absent,artists are easily strayed in self-satiscation –the most(少形容词) barricade in their way to achieve more progress.Thus,some of the constructive critics can not only help artists keep a clear mind to prevent losing themselves in overstate praise from the public but also inspire them to retrospect themselves deeply to bring up more luminous creative sparks.In addition,critics can also benefit the society a lot through its function as a filter,with the help of which we can choose art truly worthwile（？） our time and money  among so many hodgepodge creatures.Moreover,there exists the most important prerequisition（？） - critics must keep a absolutely balance eye on the artists’creature,without which the critics would hamper the progress of the arts in deed. Critics should not be too careful to give any definition to an artifice（好象想说的不是这个词吧）.For instance,it’s right that if a critic have an antipathy to Dali’s odd aesthetic vision,yet he couldn’t deny the significant position Dali occupied（用一般现在时） in the sect of surrealistic images.MOREOVER后的内容可独立成段。
   
To sum up,according to different roles they play,artists’and critihcs’ working relegions（？） are fundamentally different.In order to add multicolored hues to our quotidian life artists could form their own styles varied from one to another  no matter how distinct or rediculous it seems like.Yet,the critics must hold exactly objective standards in their mind that can give constructive advice to artists.It can be easily concluded that artists and critics are eccencial supplement.As the time pass（passes）,the greatest feasts are those created by artists and evaluated by critics,which wouldn’t fade away forever.
我觉的两个BODY的想法是很好的！！就是论证上的工夫还不到（这个大家都差不多拉），再多看看范文吧。第一个BODY地头一点的罗列例子感觉效果不是很好，不如像后面举个例子来分析更有力。语言上存在一些问题，有一些可以感到是逐字从中文翻过去的，还是多看范文吧。还有我觉得你写的是平衡结构，不是有保留的赞成，从形式到结尾的总结都体现了这一点。我的修改意见仅供参考.
加油写吧!