Issue130 [OB小组]_第2次作业

ldongxpUID: 2311083

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 577          DATE: 2007-7-15

1 socialized children 将成为良好的公民
2 socialization不是一个人对社会贡献的唯一因素
3 我们现在孩子的教育方式还是能够帮助他们社会化
4 我们过去的成绩说明社会在bettering

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized and we have not yet found a right way to raise children who can better society. I cannot agree with these claims. I think that socialization is not the only one factor influencing an individual how he or she would contribute to society and that our way to raise children to better society is quite effective.

Admittedly, well-socialized children may become good citizens in society who can contribute much to a better society. There is a research by Beijing University which is one of the best universities in China. Experts have made 20-year follow-up investigation on two groups of people who were students in two classes of a primary school 20 years ago. The result of this research shows that students who could get along well with other children would do good jobs in their field and attain great achievements. Well-socialized children know how to respect others, how to cooperate with others, how to make his ideas known and so forth so that they can get along with their partners harmoniously and complete their works together  .

However, socialization is only one of the factors influencing the extent to which a person will contribute to a better society. And in my opinion, it is not the most important one. Consider some prominent individuals who have profoundly contribute to a better society. The most famous scientist, Albert Einstein’s contributions sprang from his imagination and intellect, though he is not fully understanded and by the public and he could have few friends. Deng Xiaoping's contribution to the economics of China was primarily the result of his knowledge and wisdom which had little to do with socialization. An even more striking example is Bill Gates' whose contribution ascribes to his desire to facilitate the everyday lives of people rather than his proper socialization among the U.S. society.

Consider the speaker's second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society. Take a look at the situation of our children. Our children are learning how to negotiate with each other, how to express their opinions and how to get along with those who have opposite view with them through playing games together. And when they go to school, under the teachers' guidance, they can further learn how to cooperate with others through the completing projects, which always require several persons work together. So, the children are socialized quite well and they are likely to become citizens who can get along with others harmoniously.

Furthermore, the children in the past 50 years are bettering the society. First, 56 peoples in our country live together harmoniously though we have different languages, customs, religious belives and so forth. The economy is increasing fast and the living conditions of people are enhancing. The science, technologies are developing fast and we can send people into the space by our own spaceships. And ample evidences of increasing international cooperation are that we joined the World Trade Organization and that in 2008, we will hold the Olympic Games in Beijing. In short, the children are indeed bettering society in the past years.

In conclusion, besides socialization, there are other factors-such as intellect, wisdom, and desire to facilitate people's lives. And in the past half century, children are bettering the society and in fact we have a right way to raise children who can contribute to a better society.

OB叔UID: 188695

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized and we have not yet found a right way to raise children who can better society. I cannot agree with these claims. I think that socialization is not the only one factor influencing an individual how he or she would contribute to society and that our way to raise children to better society is quite effective.你对题目的回应开始的时候就有些偏了，这个题目是2句话，你可以分别回应，但话说回来，只要你能自圆其说就可以。

Admittedly, well-socialized children may become good citizens in society who can contribute much to a better society. 题目这里的socialize其实是education的意思，这里要转换的解释一下There is a research by Beijing University 【标准写法是Peking University】which is one of the best universities in China. Experts have made 20-year follow-up investigation on two groups of people who were students in two classes of a primary school 20 years ago. The result of this research shows that students who could get along well with other children would do good jobs in their field and attain great achievements. Well-socialized children know how to respect others, how to cooperate with others, how to make his ideas known and so forth so that they can get along with their partners harmoniously and complete their works together。论述的很有条理

However, socialization is only one of the factors influencing the extent to which a person will contribute to a better society. 这里你还是没有具体解释socialization是什么意思And in my opinion, it is not the most important one. Consider some prominent individuals who have profoundly contribute to a better society. The most famous scientist, Albert Einstein’s contributions sprang from his imagination and intellect, though he is not fully understanded and by the public and he could have few friends. Deng Xiaoping's contribution to the economics of China was primarily the result of his knowledge and wisdom which had little to do with socialization. An even more striking example is Bill Gates' whose contribution ascribes to his desire to facilitate the everyday lives of people rather than his proper socialization among the U.S. society.

Consider the speaker's second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society. Take a look at the situation of our children. Our children are learning how to negotiate with each other, how to express their opinions and how to get along with those who have opposite view with them through playing games together. And when they go to school, under the teachers' guidance, they can further learn how to cooperate with others through the completing projects, which always require several persons work together. So, the children are socialized quite well and they are likely to become citizens who can get along with others harmoniously.

Furthermore, the children in the past 50 years are bettering the society. First, 56 peoples in our country live together harmoniously though we have different languages, customs, religious belives and so forth. The economy is increasing fast and the living conditions of people are enhancing. The science, technologies are developing fast and we can send people into the space by our own spaceships. And ample evidences of increasing international cooperation are that we joined the World Trade Organization and that in 2008, we will hold the Olympic Games in Beijing. In short, the children are indeed bettering society in the past years.

In conclusion, besides socialization, there are other factors-such as intellect, wisdom, and desire to facilitate people's lives. And in the past half century, children are bettering the society and in fact we have a right way to raise children who can contribute to a better society.

总的来说，你的论述很有条理，如果思路方面正确的话，那么是一篇很优秀的issue
但是，你对题目的回应有些跑题的嫌疑，你自己可以考虑一下

pesticideUID: 2359145

语言我说不出什么道道，我想大概说说文章整体的看法：
1、同意版主说法，社会化一直没讲清。如果从这个前提出发The general process of acquiring culture is referred to as socialization ，可能会好点。
2、有点跑题，后面越来越散。

zhugUID: 2298099

问一下：
这个题必须得解释socialization吗？不解释可不可以？我就一直想回避这种解释。。。

还有这里跑题了具体是指怎么跑题了？

太弱了，刚看了这个帖子，谢谢答复！