issue83 【OB小组】第5次作业

wy86917UID: 2335014

Issue 83

While talking about wheher government should preserve the publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, some people stand for and some are against. In my opinion, I agree with the speaker’s assertion, that is the areas worth protection, no matter how remote they are or how few people could reach there.

First of all, such areas may contain richful sources benefit for human and become the home of some rare species. With the development of science and technology, the cost of common sources such as iron and oil is constantly increasing, and the need for rare sources also become hot topic. Such wilderness areas may contain richful sources, as earth stores plentiful sources and lots of them haven't been explored or claimed in error. For example, in the middle of 20th century, china was regarded by forgein countries as a poverty country lack of oil. However, with the hard work of chinese exploers , china has become one of the largest petrolum exporting country in the world. Meanwhile, as such areas are remote and accessible to only a few people, the influence of modern  civilization could seldom endanger the places ,which makes some rare species existing. Thus it is possible for the rare to survive and make sure the scientific value for reachers to analyse. For example, the discovery of duckbill(鸭嘴兽) in Australia, relies on the remote positison of Austrialia and now it has done great contribution to the paleontology.

What's more, one thing we can't ignore is that preservation doesn't equal to leave alone without care. As the globe becomes gradually polluted, some necessary methods have to be taken to halt  the threatings to the wilderness areas. The government should take actions according to the specific circunstances of local objectively aspects. For example, to control chenical or paper-manufacturing factories which use lots of negative chemical materials leading to serious pollutions, chinese government has made some efficient laws to forbid them to locate their workshops in the rural and the standards of testing their wastrals are becoming more and more strict. The methods above get exciting results in recent years as the rate of rivers polluted has decreased from 60 percent to 35 percent.

However, not all the areas with the conditions above should keep their contemporary state.  There are lots of deserted areas in the west part of china with neither sources nor rare species. After careful discussion and plan, chinese government decides to make full use of such areas and  the policy receives millions of volunteers' recalls. The development of west regions are under progress, some areas changed into visiting places to attract tourists to pull up local ecnomics, some areas designed as cities in future for the increasing number of people in china.

To sum up, we'd better to preserve the wilderness areas in their nature state, with prope programming and reasonable alternation.

OB叔UID: 188695

麻烦你发到寄托前，先粘帖到word将最基本的词汇和语法问题查一下

我粘帖了以后都是红道道

这个要批评一下

OB叔UID: 188695

先占座了，等会改

OB叔UID: 188695

While talking about whether government should preserve the publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, some people stand for and some are against. In my opinion, I agree with the speaker’s assertion, that is the areas worth protection, no matter how remote they are or how few people could reach there.开头很简洁，说明自己的观点，赞

First of all, such areas may contain richful sources benefit for human and become the home of some rare species. With the development of science and technology, the cost of common sources such as iron and oil is constantly increasing, and the need for rare sources also become hot topic. Such wilderness areas may contain richful 【建议这里就不要用rich了，显的语言贫乏】sources, as earth stores plentiful sources and lots of them haven't been explored or claimed in error. For example, in the middle of 20th century, china was regarded by forgein countries as a poverty country lack of oil. However, with the hard work of chinese exploers , china has become one of the largest petroleum exporting country in the world. Meanwhile, as such areas are remote and accessible to only a few people, the influence of modern civilization could seldom endanger the places ,which makes some rare species existing. Thus it is possible for the rare to survive and make sure the scientific value for reachers to analyse. For example, the discovery of duckbill(鸭嘴兽) in Australia, relies on the remote position of Austrialia and now it has done great contribution to the paleontology. 我个人觉得你可以将资源开发和动物保护分开，不过分开后每一段会显得比较单薄，你自己考虑了。这个段落论述的很清晰，赞

What's more, one thing we can't ignore is that preservation doesn't equal to leave alone without care. As the globe becomes gradually polluted, some necessary methods have to be taken to halt  the threatings to the wilderness areas. The government should take actions according to the specific circumstances of local objectively aspects. For example, to control chemical or paper-manufacturing factories which use lots of negative chemical materials leading to serious pollutions, chinese government has made some efficient laws to forbid them to locate their workshops in the rural and the standards of testing their wastrels are becoming more and more strict. The methods above get exciting results in recent years as the rate of rivers polluted has decreased from 60 percent to 35 percent. 不错，不过最好在结尾总结一下，扣一下本段的主题句

However, not all the areas with the conditions above should keep their contemporary state.这句话你想表达什么啊？ 是不是说：不是所有的地方都应该保持原状的？谈开发吧 There are lots of deserted areas in the west part of china with neither sources nor rare species. After careful discussion and plan, chinese government decides to make full use of such areas and the policy receives millions of volunteers' recalls. The development of west regions are under progress, some areas changed into visiting places to attract tourists to pull up local ecnomics, some areas designed as cities in future for the increasing number of people in china.

To sum up, we'd better to preserve the wilderness areas in their nature state, with prope programming and reasonable alternation. 结尾有些太单薄了

小结：
写的很不错，结构清晰，用词准确。
就是在段落的平衡上要下功夫，有些段很明显太单薄了，结尾也是

wy86917UID: 2335014

谢谢谢谢
恩，那个WORD问题我尽量注意

不知道为什么，我亲戚家的WORD没有自动纠错功能
请问还知道怎么打开那个功能啊:confused: