Issue51 【SWEETBOX小组】第N次作业 by 小破孩

小破孩UID: 2125288

Issue51
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Words: 754
As an old Eastern saying goes, the most efficient time to arrange a year plan is in spring and the most appropriate time to settle a day plan is early in the morning. Similarly, the best time to design the growth of an individual is in his or her youth. Thus, the effectiveness of education, a process providing basic knowledge, social communication skills and technical trainings to the future builders of the country gains more concerned from the society. The most effective education would be of the form make full use of the resources from the instructor and school as well as the maximum absorption of the students, being able to understand and apply what they learned for future career service. From my point of view, effective education should meet the needs and interests of the majority of the students.

Firstly, the purpose of education requires it to satisfy the request of the majority of the class. Education gave the foundation of a person, just like the plinth of a statue. No matter how delicate and elaborate the above status is, what unique feature it contains, how significant it is in historical role or its relevance to the everyday life, without a solid base, all are just like flower blossom, transient and turn flag overtime. The purpose of education is to give solid support to students, nourish them with general knowledge, common sense and moral standards for future works. Although in reality we don’t ask a technician in a manufactory company to know the aesthetic value of a literature masterpiece, nor do we require an artiest to know the detail mechanism of the machine, yet both the artists and the technicians get education in mathematics and linguistic in their early education, gave them communication skills and mathematics skills no matter what career they would choose in the future. Since these specific requests will emerge only during the work, after certain level of education. Thus, in order to give students equal competence for future career development, effective education should be aim at the majority of students.  

Secondly, given large number of students and limited resources, it is realistic to provide more general courses to the students. On one hand, the teaching resources of each school might be limited and various according to the locations. Schools should manage their money and resources in a way that could both fulfill the students’ interests and overcome the financial limit. Under such circumstances, education should put the requirement of the majority into the first priority concern. Providing the basic knowledge to build up knowledge framework for the students would be the most emerging goal. On the other hand, due to various family backgrounds, living conditions, religion belief and plenty other unexpected factors, the interests of an individual cannot be determined easily. Some students may have a broad interest in myriads of aspects whereas the interests of some other students may change as they get more information to the related subject. Thus, general education would decrease such discrepancy. In addition, the mobility of students makes it even harder to determine their interests or fit their interests with proper student-oriented education design. In the Unites States, statistics indicate that around 5% of the students change their elementary school 2-3 times per year, which makes it impossible to orient the students’ interests, whereas the general education aimed to the multitude will be more effective in transition periods. Even if we could find the interests of each student, the school might not be financial competent to give corresponding education plans. Thus, general education is the most effective method to the extent of using available resources.  

Admittedly, a thorough education should give each students room to extend their own interests. Everyone is born different, which makes our society diverse and attractive. And it is exact this diversity contribute to our lustrous universe. Education should dig out students’ advantages and talents according to their own interests. “Interest is the best instructor.” Such interest would encourage students to gain more related knowledge which would in turn deeper the interests and promote another circle which ultimately leads one to his culmination.

After all the analysis above, it may safe for us to draw a conclusion that general purpose of the education requires it to provide basic and general knowledge to the majority students to be effective due to limited resources in the schools. Whereas individuals’ interests should not be overlooked but emphasized to make use of one’s talent to let the students grow into a full-fledged adult.

说来这篇也改来改去好多回了，可是只是改到又臭又长，只好麻烦大家了
多谢多谢

pippo1983UID: 172110

Issue51
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."Words: 754
As an old Eastern saying goes, the most efficient time to arrange a year plan is in spring and the most appropriate time to settle a day plan is early in the morning. Similarly, the best time to design the growth of an individual is in his or her youth. Thus, the effectiveness of education, a process providing basic knowledge, social communication skills and technical trainings to the future builders of the country gains more concerned (more and more concern这里没有比较) from the society. The most effective education would be of the form make （这里的语法）full use of the resources from the instructor and school as well as the maximum absorption of the students, being able to understand and apply what they learned for future career service. （这句和上句没有衔接好，可以改成完成上述目标需要针对集体兴趣的教育，而不是个人兴趣）From my point of view, effective education should meet the needs and interests of the majority of the students.

Firstly, the purpose of education requires it to satisfy the request of the majority of the class. Education gave the foundation of a person, just like the plinth of a statue. No matter how delicate and elaborate the above status is, what unique feature it contains, how significant it is in historical role or its relevance to the everyday life, without a solid base, all are just like flower blossom, transient and turn flag overtime. The purpose （这句可以和前面那句换个位置，再和Education gave the foundation of a person, just like the plinth of a statue.这句合并下会更简洁有力，这样写很绕）of education is to give solid support to students, nourish them with general knowledge, common sense and moral standards for future works. Although in reality we don’t ask a technician in a manufactory company to know the aesthetic value of a literature masterpiece, nor do we require an artiest to know the detail mechanism of the machine, yet both the artists and the technicians get education in mathematics and linguistic in their early education, gave them communication skills and mathematics skills no matter what career they would choose in the future. Since these specific requests will emerge only during the work, after certain level of education（断句）. Thus, in order to give students equal competence for future career development（前面的论证没能很好的支持你的这个结论, communication skills and mathematics skills 是如何给与他们平等的竞争力？你没有回答这个问题。而且你前面说的general knowledge, common sense and moral standards也没有在后面体现，文章写得长经常会有前后不对应的问题，所以不如把前面的论述简洁下，多在后半部分下功夫，这个角度还是不错的）effective education should be aim at the majority of students.  

Secondly, given large number of students and limited resources, it is realistic to provide more general courses to the students. On one hand, the teaching resources of each school might be limited and various according to the locations. Schools should manage their money and resources in a way that could both fulfill the students’ interests and overcome the financial limit. Under such circumstances, education should put the requirement of the majority into the first priority concern. Providing the basic knowledge to build up knowledge framework for the students would be the most emerging goal. （这个方面论述不足，为什么满足集体兴趣可以省钱？或者说个人兴趣如何浪费钱了？）On the other hand, due to various family backgrounds, living conditions, religion belief and plenty other unexpected factors, the interests of an individual cannot be determined easily. Some students may have a broad interest in myriads of aspects whereas the interests of some other students may change as they get more information to the related subject. Thus, general education would decrease such discrepancy. （这里还是一样，你的论述缺少一定的细节，你前面不是说信仰么？那么后面来个，比如伊斯兰学生想学古兰，基督生相学圣经，这样就要双份的资源，这样是不是更有说服力呢？其实就和你写argue一样，细节才能说服人）In addition, the mobility of students makes it even harder to determine their interests or fit their interests with proper student-oriented education design. In the Unites States, statistics indicate that around 5% of the students change their elementary school 2-3 times per year（有这样的细节就对了）, which makes it impossible to orient the students’ interests, whereas the general education aimed to the multitude will be more effective in transition periods. Even if we could find the interests of each student, the school might not be financial competent to give corresponding education plans. Thus, general education is the most effective method to the extent of using available resources.  这段主要的缺点是没有提供应有的细节来说明个人兴趣教育是如何在资源利用上不利的，特别是第一个层次，感觉可以不要的，论述好后面两个就够了

Admittedly, a thorough education should give each students room to extend their own interests. Everyone is born different, which makes our society diverse and attractive. And it is exact this diversity contribute to our lustrous universe. Education should dig out students’ advantages and talents according to their own interests. “Interest is the best instructor.” Such interest would encourage students to gain more related knowledge which would in turn deeper the interests and promote another circle which ultimately leads one to his culmination. （这段就有不太合适了，如果是想让步的话，这个作为第一段，然后转折，说个人教育有很多不可行的地方。如果想做个补充，找点平衡，那就论述多点，这样一笔带过只会让你的观点模糊，而且你结尾还说要but emphasized，这就与你前面部分的论证抵触了，这样的写法也比较难掌握，推荐放在第一段让步的写法）

After all the analysis above, it may safe for us to draw a conclusion that general purpose of the education requires it to provide basic and general knowledge to the majority students to be effective due to limited resources in the schools. Whereas individuals’ interests should not be overlooked but emphasized to make use of one’s talent to let the students grow into a full-fledged adult.

语言挺成熟了，多考虑下结构，把文章变得简洁有力
加油！

speaklessUID: 2205899

看样子不错~占位马上来看看~学习~

strokes7UID: 2262256

同意Pippo版主的意见
另外觉得你的第一段最后一句很让人迷惑哦，不如写的直接写，就是不接受这种过早的单独针对兴趣的教育
我的提纲：
B1 针对兴趣教育有很大的好处：教育的目的就是为社会培养各类人才；当人们做感兴趣的学科，会极大发挥积极性
B2 可是过早的兴趣教育是不好的：第一兴趣早期不好挖掘，没有基础教育的培育，很可能有的兴趣也是一种错觉，甚至是有害的；失去了基础教育不利于长期发展
B3 此外这对于学校也是不可行的：第一学生兴趣多种多样，变化多端，学校不可能开设那么多课程还经常随其变化，这会造成管理混乱；第二，学校师资与教学设备有限，无法支持过多要求

仅供参考，JJ加油！