Argument140 [勇往直前小组]第一次作业by 高加索

neycUID：2366606

题目：ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."


In this analysis, the arguer claims that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson considering her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. To verify the claim, the arguer provides the evidence, which is used to illustrate the teaching and researching abilities of Thomas, that her classes are among the largest at the university and the research grants she has brought to the university has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. In addition, another assumption that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college if salary rising and promotion are not provided is also considered. The arguer commits several critical flaws.

First of all, the mere facts that Thomas' classes are among the largest at the university and the money she has brought in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years is insufficient evidence to demonstrate her teaching and research abilities. Firstly, there may be other factors which could influence the size of the classes, for example, the amount of students who have to take that course, also the number of teacher who lectures on that course and so on. It is a possible reason for the large size of Thomas classes that a large amount of students who must take this course while only Thomas is lecturing on it. Therefore, without taking into account such kind of factors, the conclusion of her popularity among students is premature. Secondly, the money Thomas brought in research grants tells little about her research ability. The research ability is not reflected by the research grants only; it may also be evaluated by some other factors, for example, the number and the quality of the papers. The arguer unfairly concludes that Thomas has great research ability only from the perspective of the amount of the research grants.

Secondly, it is not well reasoned that if Thomas is suitable for the position of the Department Chairperson. Even if her teaching and research abilities are demonstrated, whether she has the characteristics of a leadership is still open to doubt. Except the responsibility of leading the department in the field of academic, a Department Chairperson is also required to deal with a few work of administration.  Although Thomas has a great ability of teaching and researching, when it comes to the management, perhaps she could not perform very well.

Finally, the assumption that Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college without such a raise and promotion is unwarranted. Excluding the salary and position, other factors may also affect the choice of Professor Thomas. There is possibility that because she has been in the Elm City University for seventeen years and be accustomed and satisfied to her current life, she may not choose to transfer to another college.

To sum up, the arguer should produce more evidence to illustrate Thomas' teaching and research abilities. Meanwhile, except for Thomas' achievement in academic, other characteristics of her which are essential for Department Chairperson should also been claimed. Additionally, only if the assumption of Thomas' possible transferring is well reasoned, will the argument be more convincing.



Argument203
1)      首先，作者在调查中作了一个不完整的比较，使得调查结果的可信度被削弱了。除了比较病人住院的天数和治愈率，还应该统计病人的病的情况，可能到盈利医院治疗的都是重病和疑难杂症。要排除不同病症情况不同带来的影响。
2)      其次，说明Saluda的医疗服务水平高于盈利医院通过例子：有更多雇员，更少的投诉， 并不充分。更多的雇员可能工作效率不高，更少的投诉可能是因为就医人数少所致。
3)      最后，作者犯了由个体推测整体的错误。并不排除这种可能：Saluda医院是小的，非盈利性医院中服务质量最好的，但是其他小的，非盈利性的医院服务就都很差了。

Argument154
1)      首先，调查的代表性值得质疑，只调查了男人，而且样本数量小
2)      其次，作者忽略了其他可能导致激烈的户外运动的人比温和锻炼的人长寿的原因，例如有能力进行激烈的户外运动的人往往是身体条件容许的，while进行温和锻炼的人可能正是因为身体条件差或者生病才不进行激烈的体育锻炼的
3)      最后，作者没能建立起激烈户外锻炼和长寿之间的因果联系。

Argument168
1）  首先，调查的代表性值得质疑，只在一个养老院中进行，调查样本小，而且只有对80岁的老年人进行调查，忽略的其他年龄段的老人。
2）  其次，作者没能建立起复用双倍推荐用量的维生素D和减少骨折发生概率之间的关系，不能排除骨折发生概率的减少是因为进行了少量举重练习或其他原因。
3）  最后，减少hip fracture的发生机率不代表能减少所有骨折的发生机率

Arguemeng222
1）  首先，作者并不能说明社会科学的学生更难找到工作通过第一年内的统计结果，不排除可能性Hooper的社会科学毕业生在一年后都得到了长久性的工作。
2）  其次，没有证据证明关于物理科学和社会科学的学生对于找工作优势的论断。可能只是学生的感觉，事实并不一定如此。
3）  最后，作者忽略物理科学和社会科学之间可能存在的差异，可能并不适用于社会科学的学生，同时也没考虑到其他的解决问题的方法。

linshaoUID：2338229

In this analysis, the arguer claims that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson considering her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. To verify the claim, the arguer provides the evidence, which is used to illustrate the teaching and researching abilities of Thomas, that her classes are among the largest at the university and the research grants she has brought to the university has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. In addition, another assumption that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college if salary rising and promotion are not provided is also considered. The arguer commits several critical flaws.
（首段分析非常全面，语言好）
First of all, the mere facts that Thomas' classes are among the largest at the university and the money she has brought in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years is(前文是facts，此处应该是are吧) insufficient evidences to demonstrate her teaching and research abilities. Firstly, there may be other factors which could influence the size of the classes, for example, the amount of students who have to take that course, also the number of teacher who lectures on that course and so on. It is a possible reason for the large size of Thomas classes that a large amount of students who must take this course while only Thomas is lecturing on it. Therefore, without taking into account such kind of factors, the conclusion of her popularity among students is premature. Secondly, the money Thomas brought in research grants tells little about her research ability. The research ability is not reflected by the research grants only; it may also be evaluated by some other factors, for example, the number and the quality of the papers. The arguer unfairly concludes that Thomas has great research ability only from the perspective of the amount of the research grants.
（建议将该段分成两段来写，层次更加分明些，写在一起读以来很冗杂）
Secondly, it is not well reasoned that if（似乎该用whether） Thomas is suitable for the position of the Department Chairperson. Even if her teaching and research abilities are demonstrated, whether she has the characteristics of a leadership is still open to doubt. Except the responsibility of leading the department in the field of academic, a Department Chairperson is also required to deal with a few work of administration(a few似乎不太好，说服力不强啊，既然很少，那就没必要要求ability of management).  Although Thomas has a great ability of teaching and researching, when it comes to the management, perhaps she could not perform very well.

Finally, the assumption that Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college without such a raise and promotion is unwarranted. Excluding the salary and position, other factors may also affect the choice of Professor Thomas. There is possibility that because she has been in the Elm City University for seventeen years and be accustomed and satisfied to her current life, she may not choose to transfer to another college.
（这段说理不够充分，我觉得应该说no evidence表明Thomas会离开or other University welcome her）

To sum up, the arguer should produce more evidence to illustrate Thomas' teaching and research abilities. Meanwhile, except for Thomas' achievement in academic, other characteristics of her which are essential for Department Chairperson should also been claimed. Additionally, only if the assumption of Thomas' possible transferring is well reasoned, will the argument be more convincing.

总的来说说理充分，分析透彻，组长的语言非常好。

[ 本帖最后由 linshao 于 2007-7-22 16:49 编辑 ]

高加索UID：2246937

谢谢修改！
现在的argument越写越程式化，粗略看结构都出来了，但是写的时候真的都没什么太好的想法，很多地方其实都经不起推敲~还得继续狂写，狂改，呵呵

strontium023UID：2316968

In this analysis, the arguer claims that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson considering her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. To verify the claim, the arguer provides the evidence, which is used to illustrate the teaching and researching abilities of Thomas, that her classes are among the largest at the university and the research grants she has brought to the university has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. In addition, another（前面好象都是事实啊，所以是不是可以不用another啊） assumption that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college if salary rising and promotion are not provided is also considered. The arguer commits several critical flaws.（这句话突然提出，感觉有点突兀，感觉是不是要加个连接词什么的会好一点）

First of all, the mere facts that Thomas' classes are among the largest at the university and the money she has brought in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years is insufficient evidence to demonstrate her teaching and research abilities. Firstly, there may be other factors which could influence the size of the classes, for example, the amount of students who have to take that course, also the number of teacher who lectures on that course and so on. It is a possible reason for the large size of Thomas classes that a large amount of students who must take this course while only Thomas is lecturing on it. Therefore, without taking into account such kind of factors, the conclusion of her popularity among students is premature. Secondly, the money Thomas brought in research grants tells little about her research ability. The research ability is not reflected by the research grants only; it may also be evaluated by some other factors, for example, the number and the quality of the papers. The arguer unfairly concludes that Thomas has great research ability only from the perspective of the amount of the research grants.（感觉这段的标志词和主要段落的标志词有些重复。）

Secondly, it is not well reasoned that if Thomas is suitable for the position of the Department Chairperson. Even if her teaching and research abilities are demonstrated, whether she has the characteristics of a leadership is still open to doubt. Except the responsibility of leading the department in the field of academic, a Department Chairperson is also required to deal with a few work of administration.  Although Thomas has a great ability of teaching and researching, when it comes to the management, perhaps she could not perform very well.

Finally, the assumption that Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college without such a raise and promotion is unwarranted. Excluding the salary and position, other factors may also affect the choice of Professor Thomas. There is possibility that because she has been in the Elm City University for seventeen years and be accustomed and satisfied to her current life, she may not choose to transfer to another college.

To sum up, the arguer should produce more evidence to illustrate Thomas' teaching and research abilities. Meanwhile, except for Thomas' achievement in academic, other characteristics of her which are essential for Department Chairperson should also been claimed. Additionally, only if the assumption of Thomas' possible transferring is well reasoned, will the argument be more convincing.
小结：本文条理清晰，语言流畅。部分连接词如能修改变换一下会更好。