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[a习作temp] Argument140 【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第3次作业 by XP [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-26 18:31:12 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 418          TIME: 00:29:54         


In this argument, the author recommends that Elm City University should give a raise of salary and a promotion to Professor Thomas. To support this recommendation, the author points out that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university and that Professor Thomas brought much research grants to the university. The author also notes that without the raise and promotion, Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University. However, this argument suffers from several critical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the fact that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university does not necessarily indicate that she is popular among students, letting alone good teaching ability. Perhaps the courses taught by Professor Thomas are compulsory and every student has to take her course. Or perhaps she is the only one teacher in the university who taught that course. It is also possible that student who chose her classes can pass the exam easily. Without ruling these and other possibilities, the author cannot make a persuasive recommendation.

Secondly, the fact that Professor Thomas has brought much money to the university in research grants has little indication that she is good at research. It is entirely possible that the money which Professor Thomas brought to university was mainly owed to her partner who is really good at research. Or perhaps Professor Thomas is just good at apply money but not research. Without accounting for these and other possibilities, the author cannot draw a broader recommendation based on such a fact.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University without a raise of salary and a promotion. Lacking evidence to support this assumption, it is entirely possible that Professor Thomas herself never thought about a raise or promotion. Or perhaps she would go to other college no matter whether she receives a raise and promotion or not. Another possibility is that Professor Thomas just wants the raise of salary but not promotion. Without considering such possibilities, the author cannot make a convincing recommendation based on such an assumption.

In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster this recommendation, the author must provides clear evidence that Professor Thomas indeed has demonstrating abilities of both teaching and research and that Professor Thomas would leave without a raise and a promotion. To better assess the recommendation, more information about Professor Thomas and more detail about the promotion and raise of salary are needed.
坚持就是胜利! KedGRE

ldongxp的习作汇总帖 http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-702004-1-1.html
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发表于 2007-7-26 21:42:41 |只看该作者
A147
TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
        

1 survey不可信
2 具有most important feature--lifelike graphics能推出销售会增长?
3   advertising campaign 效果不一定增加 游戏的销售
4  增加销售到他因
坚持就是胜利! KedGRE

ldongxp的习作汇总帖 http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-702004-1-1.html

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板凳
发表于 2007-7-27 23:25:59 |只看该作者

回复 #1 ldongxp 的帖子

In this argument, the author recommends that Elm City University should give a raise of salary and a promotion to Professor Thomas. To support this recommendation, the author points out that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university and that Professor Thomas brought much research grants to the university. The author also notes that without the raise and promotion, Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University. However, this argument suffers from several critical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.[开头很完整了]

First of all, the fact that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university does not necessarily indicate that she is popular among students, letting alone good teaching ability. Perhaps the courses taught by Professor Thomas are compulsory [好词!我以前也记过,但写的时候没有找到] and every student has to take her course. Or perhaps she is the only one teacher in the university who taught that course. It is also possible that student who chose her classes can pass the exam easily. Without ruling these and other possibilities, the author cannot make a persuasive recommendation.[恩 多种可能性都考虑到了]

Secondly, the fact that Professor Thomas has brought much money to the university in research grants has little indication that she is good at research. It is entirely possible that the money which Professor Thomas brought to university was mainly owed to her partner who is really good at research. Or perhaps Professor Thomas is just good at apply money but not research.[这一点 我个人持保留意见 如果她good at apply 以前的情况为什么不一样呢?] Without accounting for these and other possibilities, the author cannot draw a broader recommendation based on such a fact.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University without a raise of salary and a promotion. Lacking evidence to support this assumption, it is entirely possible that Professor Thomas herself never thought about a raise or promotion. Or perhaps she would go to other college no matter whether she receives a raise and promotion or not. Another possibility is that Professor Thomas just wants the raise of salary but not promotion. Without considering such possibilities, the author cannot make a convincing recommendation based on such an assumption.

In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster this recommendation, the author must [provide] clear evidence that Professor Thomas indeed has [demonstrated] abilities of both teaching and research and that Professor Thomas would leave without a raise and a promotion. To better assess the recommendation, more information about Professor Thomas and more [details] about the promotion and raise of salary are needed.


结构合理 内容完整 而且在规定的时间内完成 lz很强!


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地板
发表于 2007-8-1 15:43:38 |只看该作者
In this argument, the author recommends that Elm City University should give a raise of salary and a promotion to Professor Thomas. To support this recommendation, the author points out that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university and thatthat可以不要) Professor Thomasshe hasbrought much research grants to the university. The author also notes that without the raise and promotion, Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University. However, this argument suffers from several critical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it standsand is therefore unconvincing as it stands可以不要了。开头我比较赞同简洁派的,留下更多的时间写下文。这里推荐shalon和光绪的开头,可以去看看,呵呵,真的是一个词都不会多).
First of all, the fact that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest ones in the university does not necessarily indicate that she is popular among students, letting alone good teaching ability. Perhaps the courses taught by Professor Thomas are compulsory and every student has to take her course. Or perhaps she is the only one teacher in the university who taught that course(加botany,否则感觉句子没完). It is also possible that student who chose her classes can pass the exam easily(这个理由妙,赞!!哈哈,现在学生都这样,我怎么没想到). Without ruling these and other possibilities, the author cannot make a persuasive recommendation. Secondly, the fact that Professor Thomas has brought much money to the university in research grants has little indication that she is good at research. It is entirely possible that the money which Professor Thomas brought to university was mainly owed to her partner who is really good at research. Or perhaps Professor Thomas is just good at apply money but not research. Without accounting for these and other possibilities, the author cannot draw a broader recommendation based on such a fact.Finally, the author unfairly assumes that Professor Thomas would leave Elm City University without a raise of salary and a promotion. Lacking evidence to support this assumption, it is entirely possible that Professor Thomas herself never thought about a raise or promotion. Or perhaps she would go to other college no matter whether she receives a raise and promotion or not. Another possibility is that Professor Thomas just wants the raise of salary but not promotion.(这段攻击点找到了,但是总觉得没有点到痛处,有点原地转圈圈的感觉,是不是可以这样说呢:她更看中教书的环境,学校的声誉质量,学生的好学,以及自己价值的体现。如果留下继续更是为了这些因素,而不是因为钱或者提升。这样的证据是不是更有说服力呢?)Without considering such possibilities, the author cannot make a convincing recommendation based on such an assumption.
In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster this recommendation, the author must provides clear evidence that Professor Thomas indeed has demonstrating abilities of both teaching and research and that Professor Thomas would leave without a raise and a promotion. To better assess the recommendation, more information about Professor Thomas and more detail about the promotion and raise of salary are needed.

[ 本帖最后由 Shania.33 于 2007-8-1 15:49 编辑 ]
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RE: Argument140 【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第3次作业 by XP [修改]

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Argument140 【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第3次作业 by XP
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