issue177 没有人拍我也会发的，自己监督自己

VIVI_1004UID: 2348359

TOPIC: ISSUE177 - "The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."
WORDS: 497          TIME: 00:55:04          DATE: 2007-7-26 12:41:30

Admittedly, the education of individual is very important that through the study of academic discipline may formula a special perceiving method understand the world. The academic background is not the unique factor influence on the way of perceive the world but include other factor, such as living ambience, career, personal characteristic and so on. I agree with the assertion that after the mastery of social academic discipline, we see the unique world with different eyes. The author may claims that importance of academic education plays an important role in perceive the world.

At the beginning we may discuss about the factors which can affect our perception of the world, such as living ambience and education from parents and family. Parents play essential roles in the education before the academic education which influence our life. Another factor is the characteristic more influence people’s attitude through the different method deal with personal affairs. For supporting example, when an optimist observed a rose and draw a conclusion that what’s a beautiful place that every thorn have a flower above. Instead a pessimist thought that it is a awful place that every flower contains a thorn below the flowers. This illustrates that not only the academic disciplines may influence one’s perception of the world.     

In the first place, we may discuss about the influence of academic education play on the perceive method of world. For example, different people from different major may have different perception in same things, especially the people who have the same general education. Once several friends of mine went shopping together, we are allured by a beautiful dress. A friend is studying design arts, which quickly analysis the color, style belonged to Bohemia which is the most fashion style this summer. But another friend who studies economics immediately checks the quality of clothing materials and with the shop-owner. That is very interesting to see the different response to the some things. This illustrates that people from different academicals realm more have different conception which makes us more insufficient.

In the second place, the academic discipline may limit our perception of the world. Firstly, the society need the specialist who can response and deal with special work effective and efficient. So the best way is to cultivate intuition to deal with problems, which not consider other method through practice and academic education. This may enlarge their academic ability and limit other choices. What we learn from the situation we still have found the way to solve this problem, that is, the education of generalist and co-academic talents. Secondly, from our academic researching guide by academic disciplines can make us thorough of one facet of the world.  

In sum, the study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world, but not the only factor influence on our perception. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes, and I will add to make us more special to read the world.

pippo1983UID: 172110

你拍别人的，别人就会拍你的

斯普特尼克UID: 2171287

说明：


红色是我在你原文中加的
（红色）是我改的，或者注释
下划线，为了让你看清我解释的具体指的什么
蓝色使我觉得写得很好，值得我学习的
辛苦了！



TOPIC: ISSUE177 - "Thestudy of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world.After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, butwith different eyes."
WORDS: 497          TIME: 00:55:04          DATE: 2007-7-26 12:41:30

Admittedly, the educationof individual is very important that through the study of academic discipline the individualmay formula(form) a special perceiving method to understand theworld.(缺少连接词) The academic background is not the(a) unique factor influence onthe way of perceive(perceiving) the world but include(including) other factors, such as livingambience, career, personal characteristic and so on(过于口语化，少用为佳). I agree with theassertion that after the mastery(会不会太武断？) of social academic discipline, we seethe unique world with(through) different eyes. The author may claims thatimportance of academic education plays an important role in perceivethe world.(这句话意义不大，有凑字的嫌疑)

At the beginning we maydiscuss about the factors which can affect our perception of the world,such as living ambience and education from parents and family（家庭包含了父母）. Parentsplay essential roles in the education before the academic educationwhich influence our life. Another factor is the characteristic moreinfluence people’s attitude through the different method in dealing withpersonal affairs. For supporting example, when an optimist observed arose and draw a conclusion that what’s(what is文章中不要用's,'re,'t之类的谓语缩写) a beautiful place that everythorn have a flower above（这好像算不得是什么conclusion）. Instead a pessimist thought that it is aawful place that every flower contains a thorn below the flowers. Thisillustrates that not only the academic disciplines may influence one’sperception of the world.

花的例子很有趣！对比用得很好
而且结论句也很简洁直观，学习

In the first place（前面已经at the beginning，如果你要另起一个话题，最好先把背景交待出来，然后再用first,second来分层，否则会混淆段落概念）, we maydiscuss about(多余) the influence of academic education play a vital role on the perceive(perceiving)method of the world. For example, different people from(in) different majors may(多余)have different perception in same things, especially the people whohave the same general education. Once several friends of mine(with me否则后面的we指代不明确)wentshopping together, we are allured by a beautiful dress. A friend isstudying design arts, which quickly analysis the color, style belongedto Bohemia which is the most fashion style this summer. But anotherfriend who studies economics immediately checks the quality of clothingmaterials and with the shop-owner（应该是谈价格吧……？）. That(this) is very interesting to see thedifferent response to the some(same) things. This illustrates(也许可以换个表示方法，这样和上一段重复了) that peoplefrom different academicals realm more have different conception whichmakes us more insufficient（何故？）.
结构很清楚，但是最后的insufficient这样一个概念，在文中并没有表现出来

In the second place（同上一段开头）, theacademic discipline may(will also) limit our perception of the world. Firstly, thesociety need the specialist who can response(与work联用在此不太合适) and deal with special workeffective and efficient. So the best way is to cultivate intuition todeal with the problems, which is not consider to other method through practiceand academic education. This may enlarge their academic ability andlimit other choices. What we learn from the situation we still have tofound the way to solve this problem, that is, the education ofgeneralist and co-academic talents. Secondly, from our academicresearching guide by academic disciplines can make us thorough of onefacet of the world.  (最后一句看不懂)
结构完全不如前面清晰整洁，写烦了吗？= =b

In sum, the study of anacademic discipline alters the way we perceive the world, but not theonly factor influence on our perception. After studying the discipline,we see the same world as before, but with different eyes, and I willadd to make us more special to read the world.
小错误太多，写完自己应该先修改一遍
中间部分前两段的结构很清晰，但是第三段完全混乱了，理解起来也费劲的多
但是我很喜欢你的例子，切身经历和一些场景假设，读起来不枯燥
比什么阿瑞斯托托，叩拜尼克，剖拉图，埃迪森之类被人用烂的例子强多了，至少我很喜欢，哈哈


如果有改错的地方，请提醒我，谢谢