argument113 [0710G 戴三个表冲刺小组] 第2次作业

斯普特尼克UID: 2171287

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is amemo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents toa recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home withthem from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has notseen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we shouldtake advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart storesthe stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, papershredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office suppliessuch as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supplydepartments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 445          TIME: 0:37:03          DATE: 2007-7-28

In this argument the author draw aconclusion that the Valu-Mart stores should increase stock of office suppliessuch as paper, pens, and staplers in all Valu-Mart stores and it will becomethe most profitable component of the stores which is merely based on dubiousevidence and confused assumption. To support his conclusion, the author claimthat a survey shows that more work home with people from the workplace thanthey were in the past. In addition, the author indicates that the increasinghome worker will make the profit increase. At first glance, this argument seemsto be somewhat reasonable, however, that should be have addressed in thestatement. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundlessthe conclusion is.

In the first place, this argument based onthe assumption that the need of office machines will increase because thesurvey shows 70 percent respondents reported they have more work need to bedone after back home. The author's claim is totally wrong because his fails todemonstrate that the increasing work at home of these people will lead to theprofit increased absolutely. Maybe the work at home of them is based on theinternet or computer and then fax to the company, or maybe the work can be donejust for some call, or maybe this survey just view a common complaining of theoffice workers? Without these evidences, this argument is unwarranted fully.

In the second place, another fundamentalproblem which serious weakens the logic of this argument is that the author'ssurvey is lack of necessary data including the despondences' age, work type,sex, and how many people involved in. Lacking enough information, the surveycannot be considered to a justified one.

What further weakens the argument is theauthor fails to show any evidence to demonstrate that even if the need willincrease with more workload, we cannot assure that the goods of our companysells well. Because the quality of the office machines and price and even themode will all influent the profit, and we cannot make sure that there is noother company will join the competition. Without these evidences, the authorcannot justibility draw the conclusion.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasiveas it stands. Before we accept the conclusion, the arguer must provide moreevidences to prove the conclusion all-above. To solidity the argument, in mypoint of view, the arguer would have to produce more exact survey about theoffice machines market and which kind of the machines is more popular.Therefore, if the statement had included the given factors mentioned above, theargument would have become more acceptable.

pinuoUID: 2328081

第2次作业 n-1 改 1，pinuo改斯普特尼克 的了。
评价：
1)条理很清晰，尤其最后的一点，即使有需求，也不一定能有很好的befefit的几种情况。
2)语言也提不出什么改进意见了，读着挺顺的。
一点建议：
1)把author'ssurvey的不完善放在First place是不是要好些，
2)单词好些都连在一起了(但都拼写真确)，应当稍稍注意一些。

VIVI_1004 已经占了第二次的Issue,我就不改了，只是读了读。