argument137 [0710G summer] by niuzhist

niuzhistUID: 2363220

TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any
kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents
consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite
form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the
water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that
it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible
for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River.
Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City
council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the
publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
提纲：1.（调查问题）关于人们把water sports作为最喜欢运动的调查。
          调查的人数是否够多，少了没有说服力。调查的人是否有代表性，可能是这个城市的，但不是住在Mason Rive边的。
      2．（前提错误）河水一定会干净。
         也许污染程度很高，或者污染的原因很复杂，尤其是与生态有关的，很难在短期内使其干净。
         政府部门工作没有效率，使得处污工作不能顺利进行。
     3．（前提错误）河水干净了河上娱乐一定会上升。
        也许人们长时间不进行，一些用具已老化，无法再使用了。
        可能因为天气原因，长时间的梅雨，或长时间的河被冻住。
         也许人们根本就不是因为水质差才不去娱乐的。
        工作太忙了，没时间；Mason River 用于航运，比以前更忙了，不利于进行比赛了

WORDS: 494          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-28 下午 08:41:32
In the author's argument, he comes to the conclusion that the Mason City council
should need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands
along the Mason River because of the increase of the recreational use of the river.
To substansiate his claim, the arguer points out that a survey indicates that water
sports are still a favorite form for the residents and the problem that the river may
not be clean will be settled soon by the local agency. Based on unfounded assumption
and illogical evidence, the author's conclusion is specious for me which suffers from
several fallacies.

First of all, the survey lacks of rationality about the water sports rank for the
residents. The author gives no information about the number of the residents who
participate in the survey, the number of the participators must be large enough to
be statistically significant. We also do not know whether the people joined the survey
are representative of all the residents near the Mason River. Perhaps the majority of
the people who take part in the survey may not reside near the River but only around the
city. Without ruling out the foregoing possibilities ,I can not be easily convinced that
the author's conclusion is plausible.

Secondly, the author makes his conclusion relied on the assumption that the water will be
clean soon. There is a chance that the extent that the water is polluted is so terrible that
it can not be easily cleaned in future. Perhaps the cause attributable to the pollution is
about the biological problem which must be handle with in a long time. Even though the agency
responsible for rivers in the region has announced plans to clean up Mason River, it is possible
that the policy can not be carried out effectively because of the poor management and the
corruption of the local government, If the view mentioned above is true, it will definitely
undermine the foundation of the author's conclusion. So, I am still suspicious of the arguer's
view.

Thirdly, the author's conclusion based on another assumption that the clean river will surly give
rise to the increase of the recreational use of the river. There are many other factors which can
result in the case. Perhaps the tools which are used to undergo water sports may be old enough after
a long rest so that the residents are not willing to sport again. Or perhaps, the weather does not
allow for the water sports for the long time raining or very low temperature. It is likely that the
Mason River is used to busy water transportation ,so the condition is not convenient for the residents
to engage the water sports. Without addressing these reasons, it is hard for me to think  that the
author's conclusion is untenable.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is totally unpersuasive. In order to make the argument more cogent,
the author must firstly provide the detailed information about the number of the people
and their houses’ location who take part in the survey .Additionally, we should have the idea of the
issue that whether the water will be clean soon and the relation between the clean river and the
recreational use of the river.

rainyni0812UID: 2186847

提纲：1.（调查问题）关于人们把water sports作为最喜欢运动的调查。
          调查的人数是否够多，少了没有说服力。调查的人是否有代表性，可能是这个城市的，但不是住在Mason Rive边的。
      2．（前提错误）河水一定会干净。
         也许污染程度很高，或者污染的原因很复杂，尤其是与生态有关的，很难在短期内使其干净。
         政府部门工作没有效率，使得处污工作不能顺利进行。
     3．（前提错误）河水干净了河上娱乐一定会上升。
        也许人们长时间不进行，一些用具已老化，无法再使用了。
        可能因为天气原因，长时间的梅雨，或长时间的河被冻住。
         也许人们根本就不是因为水质差才不去娱乐的。
        工作太忙了，没时间；Mason River 用于航运，比以前更忙了，不利于进行比赛了
结尾段和每一段的结论句都很好,读了很有收获,学习到了很多可以替换的新词,只是批驳的中间部分稍显层次乱,有的可能性还需要推敲.

WORDS: 494          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-28 下午 08:41:32
In the author's argument, he comes to the conclusion that the Mason City council
should need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands
along the Mason River because of the increase of the recreational use of the river.
To substansiate his claim, the arguer points out that a survey indicates that water
sports are still a favorite form for the residents and the problem that the river may
not be clean will be settled soon by the local agency. Based on unfounded assumption
and illogical evidence, the author's conclusion is specious for me which suffers from
several fallacies.

First of all, the survey lacks of rationality about the water sports rank for the
residents. The author gives no information about the number of the residents who
participate in the survey, the number of the participators must be large enough to
be statistically significant. We also do not know whether the people joined the survey
are representative of all the residents near the Mason River.(这个不准确,题目中也没特别指明住在河边和住在其他地方) Perhaps the majority of the people who take part in the survey may not reside near the River but only around the city. Without ruling out the foregoing possibilities ,I can not be easily convinced that the author's conclusion is plausible(这个词的意思是貌似有理吧,不恰当,用reasonable或者persuasive都好啊).

Secondly, the author makes his conclusion relied on the assumption that the water will be clean soon. There is a chance that the extent that the water is polluted is so terrible that
it can not be easily cleaned in future. Perhaps the cause attributable to the pollution is
about the biological problem which must be handle with in a long time. Even though the agency responsible for rivers in the region has announced plans to clean up Mason River, it is possible that the policy can not be carried out effectively because of the poor management and the corruption of the local government, If the view mentioned above is true, it will definitely undermine the foundation of the author's conclusion. So, I am still suspicious of the arguer's view.

Thirdly, the author's conclusion based on another assumption that the clean river will surly give rise to the increase of the recreational use of the river. There are many other factors which can result in the case. Perhaps the tools which are used to undergo water sports may be old enough after a long rest so that the residents are not willing to sport again. Or perhaps, the weather does not allow for the water sports for the long time raining or very low temperature. It is likely that the Mason River is used to busy water transportation ,so the condition is not convenient for the residents to engage the water sports. Without addressing these reasons, it is hard for me to think  that the author's conclusion is untenable(这个词的意思是论据站不住脚吧.).

To sum up, the author's conclusion is totally unpersuasive. In order to make the argument more cogent, the author must firstly provide the detailed information about the number of the people and their houses’ location who take part in the survey .Additionally, we should have the idea of the issue that whether the water will be clean soon and the relation between the clean river and the recreational use of the river.