argument133【07-10G Superstar大帖】7.30 by Huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

TOPIC: ARGUMENT133 - The following is a memo from the principal of AcademiaHigh School.

"AcademiaHigh School should abolish its after-school performing-arts programs and replace them with computer-technology programs. When nearby Techno High School did so last year, total enrollment in all of its after-school activities remained about the same. Moreover, on entering college, many Techno students chose a major directly related to their after-school activities. On the other hand, last year only 10 percent of Academia's graduating seniors chose performing arts as their major field of study in their first year of college, clearly indicating that most students do not have a strong interest in the performing arts."
WORDS: 491          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-30

In this argument the memo suggest that Academia High School(AHS) abolish its after-school performing-arts programs and replace them with computer-tech programs. To get support the memo cites the example of nearby Techno High School(THS) and the fact that 10 percent of AHS's graduating seniors chose performing-arts as their major for the first year. However, after scrutiny, I find both the conclusion and the evidence problematic.

Firstly, the fact that abolishing performing-art is beneficial and effective in THS is unjustified. The memo provides insufficient evidence to support the benefit of abolishing performing-art programs. Lacking evidence, it is entirely possible that although total enrollment in THS remains the same, students show less interest in programs, in which case, the measure is detrimental to the school.  Moreover, the merely fact that many graduates choose major related to their after-school programs can lend little credence to the memo. It is possible that many students like performing-art but fail to choose it as their major for some reasons, maybe just because THS does not offer the performing-art programs any more that they are not confident enough to choose the performing-art. If it is true, then the change factually does harm rather than good to the students. So, unless the memo provides sufficient evidence, the writer can not convince me that the measure is beneficial to THS

Secondly, the memo draws a false analogy between the two schools. The memo ignores some differences that may influence the reaction of students in two schools. Even if the measure is accepted in THS, it is not sure that students in AHS will like it. It is possible that many students may refuse to take other after-school programs, or take other programs but show little interest in them. Thus, the writer needs to provide more evidence to prove that the measure is applicable in AHS.

Thirdly, the memo cites the fact that 10 percent of AHS's graduates choose performing-art as their first-year major as a additional support. But merely the fact can not prove anything.  Without more information about other majors, it is entirely possible that performing-art is the most popular major while other majors may draws less than 10 percents of students. So, unless the memo provides more evidence, the fact can lend little credence to the conclusion.

Finally, the writer draws a false dilemma between the performing-art and computer-tech. No evidence has been given to prove that more emphasis on computer-tech is needed rather than other programs, even if the programs on performing-art are not demanded. So, if the memo can not prove the necessity of more attention on computer rather than other aspects, the suggestion is only a poor advice.

To sum up, the memo fails to convince me that AHS should replace its performing programs with computer programs. To better support the claim, the memo need to provide more evidence to justify that performing-art programs are no longer needed, and the computer programs are needed.

[ 本帖最后由 huaxinluobo 于 2007-7-30 18:28 编辑 ]

desirermimiUID: 2108321

In this argument the memo suggest that Academia High School(AHS) abolish its after-school performing-arts programs and replace them with computer-tech programs. To get support the memo cites the example of nearby Techno High School(THS) and the fact that 10 percent of AHS's graduating seniors chose performing-arts as their major for the first year. However, after scrutiny, I find both the conclusion and the evidence problematic.

Firstly, the fact that abolishing performing-art is beneficial and effective in THS is unjustified. The memo provides insufficient evidence to support the benefit of abolishing performing-art programs. Lacking evidence, it is entirely possible that although total enrollment in THS remains the same, students show less interest in programs, in which case, the measure is detrimental to the school.  Moreover, the merely fact that many graduates choose major related to their after-school programs can lend little credence to the memo. It is possible that many students like performing-art but fail to choose it as their major for some reasons, maybe[for example,避免和之前的it is possible 重复了] just because THS does not offer the performing-art programs any more that they are not confident enough to choose the performing-art. If it is true, then the change factually does harm rather than good to the students. So, unless the memo provides sufficient evidence, the writer can not convince me that the measure is beneficial to THS

Secondly, the memo draws a false analogy between the two schools. The memo ignores some differences that may influence the reaction of students in two schools. Even if the measure is accepted in THS, it is not sure [it’s not sure ?有这样的用法吗？好象一般只是说sb is not sure of 吧？it may be the case that students in AHS will not like it.]that students in AHS will like it. It is possible that many students may refuse to take other after-school programs, or take other programs but show little interest in them. Thus, the writer needs to provide more evidence to prove that the measure is applicable in AHS.

Thirdly, the memo cites the fact that 10 percent of AHS's graduates choose performing-art as their first-year major as a additional support. But merely the fact can not prove anything. [这些事实不能证明什么？应该详细说出来，否则太空洞] Without more information about other majors, it is entirely possible that performing-art is the most popular major while other majors may draws less than 10 percents of students. So, unless the memo provides more evidence, the fact can lend little credence to the conclusion. [也可以说，错误的做了假设：专业反映人们的兴趣。感兴趣不一定就要作为专业，人们选择专业可能更多的考虑可能是就业、薪水等，在这种情况下，显然计算机要占优势。]

Finally, the writer draws a false dilemma between the performing-art and computer-tech. No evidence has been given to prove that more emphasis on computer-tech is needed rather than other programs, even if the programs on performing-art are not demanded. So, if the memo can not prove the necessity of more attention on computer rather than other aspects, the suggestion is only a poor advice. （这一段我觉得是个细微的错误，但在说的时候可以稍微加深一点比较好）

To sum up, the memo fails to convince me that AHS should replace its performing programs with computer programs. To better support the claim, the memo need to provide more evidence to justify that performing-art programs are no longer needed, and the computer programs are needed.

[这篇的论证结构清晰，但是总体感觉不够深入。在论述到错误时，不能单把错误列出来，还应该用一两句简单的话举个小反例来攻破它，这样的论证才感觉有血有肉：D
加油！]