argument 147 [0710G ＋U Aug小组] 第7次作业 satanic

SatanicUID: 2362211

今天白天写的作文，U盘坏了，没考回来，得重写，唉

/*模版开头*/

/*批驳调查*/

/*3G游戏好，不一定销售量突增*/

/*电脑限制等其他原因*/

/*模版结尾*/

In this analysis, the arguer attempts to convice us that although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, they are likely to increace dramaticly in the next few months. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the result of a survey on video-game players that players prefer games which require the most up-to-date computers. The major assumptions underlying is that with the introducing of games directed to adolescent aged 10 to 25 years old, the company are likely to enjoy a dramatic sales increase. While this argument has some merits, several critical flaws seriously undermine the line of reasoning.

In the first place, while it seems that the survey arguer indicates are reasonable, there are some conspicuous flaws lying in it. The question that "what features players thought are most important in a video game?" for the questionnaire are somewhat misleading. It contains a false implication that people who take part in the survey are video-game players and conduct them to confess that they like the lifelike-graphic-games in that the word "features" is only exists in lifelike games. This misleading question may disturb the true interest of survey [attendees], and, consequently, affect the result of the game survey. One the other hand, therefore, we admit that the survey attendees hand in their true interests, the scale of the people who attend in it is uncovered. Whether the attendee are from all the state round, whether their ages are even, whether there are equal men and women -- these elements are all unstated, which makes the result of the survey unconvincing.

In the second place, we can not draw a hasty conclusion of the forseeing dramatical increase based on the assumption of the introduction in several lifelike graphics games. With the extensive advertising campaign, many attentions may be drawn to the newly introduced games, and, obsecurely, the sales of former games which Whirlwind relied on may decline dramaticlly. On the other hand, with the diversing of focus in Whirlwind and high-rising quality of new lifelike games, the quality of former classical games might drop down quickly. The satisfaction and interest of many adults who are fond of the former classical games may eliminate, and,at the same time, they are not fond of and willing to choose to change to newly lifelike graphics games, the only way they may choose is to abandon their loyalty in Whirlwind and look for interesting products from other companies.

Last but no least, other fectors the arguer mentioned may greatly cut down the sales of the newl product. The new likelike graphics game require the most up-to-date computers -- which is a luxury item for most American families. Comparing with the vilocity of the modern software development, that of hardware are much slower in that the price of the up-to-date chips and board are high pending and unreceivable. On the other hand, the age-group mainly focused on people from 10 to 25 ,but ignored the adult and old men, who have higher salary and paying ability. This advertisement is predudicing and ungeneral, which may lost huge amount of costomers in market.

In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demostrate the scale of the survey, the situation of former classical games in Whirlwind after the adventure of new games and the computer configuration required for this new games. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out all the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.

time: 55 minutes. 居然用了这么长时间，我真没用！

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In this analysis, the arguer attempts to convi[n]ce us that although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, they are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the result of a survey on video-game players that players prefer games which require the most up-to-date computers[这个定语改成lifelike,这个才体现了玩者的偏好]. The major assumptions underlying is that with the introducing of [such] games directed to adolescent aged 10 to 25 years old, the company are likely to enjoy a dramatic sales increase. While this argument has some merits, several critical flaws seriously undermine the line of reasoning.
In the first place, while it seems that the survey arguer indicates are reasonable, there are some conspicuous flaws lying in it. The question that "what features players thought are most important in a video game?" for the questionnaire are somewhat misleading. It contains a false implication that people who take part in the survey are video-game players[这句话有点牵强] and [主语呢？] conduct them to confess that they like the lifelike-graphic-games in that the word "features" is only exists in lifelike games. [改成in the word of "features" which is only exists in lifelike games.是不是好点？][但"features" 是特征的意思吧，难道只有这种游戏才具备？] This misleading question may disturb[不当，换个词dim之类的] the true interest of survey [attendees], and, consequently, affect the result of the game survey. One the other hand, therefore,[哪里有因果关系？本意是要让步吧，那可以用granted代替we admit引导that从句,主句不再需要连接词了] we admit that the survey attendees hand in[present应该更好吧] their true interests, the scale of the people who attend in it is uncovered. Whether the attendee are from all the state round, whether their ages are even[这个有点问题，不是所有的被调查者年龄都要平均吧，只是调查者应该说明被调查者的主要年龄构成], whether there are equal men and women -- these elements are all unstated, which makes the result of the survey unconvincing.
In the second place, we can not draw a hasty conclusion of the forseeing dramatical increase based on the assumption of the introduction[去掉，是对游戏的假设，而不是对游戏介绍的假设] in several lifelike graphics games. With the extensive advertising campaign, many attentions may be drawn to the newly introduced games, and, [逗号去掉]obsecurely, the sales of former games which Whirlwind relied on may decline dramaticlly. On the other hand, with the diversing of focus in Whirlwind and high-rising quality of new lifelike games, the quality of former classical games might drop down quickly.[这个有点牵强，新游戏的质量上升了，旧游戏的质量就会下降？] The satisfaction and interest of many adults who are fond of the former classical games may eliminate[改成被动], and,at the same time, [少个if连接] they are not fond of and willing to choose to change to newly lifelike graphics games, the only way they may choose is to abandon their loyalty in Whirlwind and look for interesting products from other companies.
Last but no least, other fectors the arguer mentioned may greatly cut down the sales of the newl product. The new likelike graphics game require the most up-to-date computers -- which is a luxury item for most American families. Comparing with the vilocity of the modern software development, that of hardware are much slower in that the price of the up-to-date chips and board are high pending and unreceivable. On the other hand, the age-group mainly focused on people from 10 to 25 ,but ignored the adult and old men, who have higher salary and paying ability. This advertisement is predudicing and ungeneral, which may lost[lose] huge amount of costomers in market.
In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demostrate the scale of the survey, the situation of former classical games in Whirlwind after the adventure of new games and the computer configuration required for this new games. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out all the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.
[总评：
一、 反驳点找得比较全面和准确，覆盖了调查的对象、限制购买的因素等。不过说调查误导参与者似乎有点牵强。
二、 正文二的中文提纲很好，游戏好并不意味着好卖，这好像是第三段的概括。正文二的展开集中在老客户的流失可能导致销量下降上，这个错误的显著性应该不及该公司的产品价格和其他竞争对手情况。——个人观点]