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ghost33UID??2267869

TOPIC: ISSUE6 - "The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."
WORDS: 553          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-8-9

What is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture? To analyze the trends of its youth? Personally, I maintain that youth only are one group in the society. And to get a clear picture about one modern culture, careful and comprehensible examination is better.

Admittedly, youth's trends are an important part in modern culture. For one thing, the youth are the pillar of one society; their trends will influence one society's culture much. Each generation has its own distinctive culture. American history witnesses such representative culture styles of different generation, and gives them different names which showing the differences between generations. Films, music, paint also shows the influence of the youth culture. Take the cowboy for example, with so many movies, literature works and clothing trends about the theme of cowboy; such youth trends demonstrate its power on the society's culture. For another, youth are at best age for learning different kinds of things. They perceive sensitively the slight change in culture and assimilate it quickly and finally represent it in their behaviors, dresses and other aspects. China is a persuasive example in this point. With the Open and Reform Policy, foreign cultures are introduced in. The opinions about sex in western countries affect the new generation a lot. Though many adults are so conservative that no topic about sex beyond couples is allowed, the youth hold a total different view. They get the idea that sex is nothing different from daily topic through watching the western films and TV series. Along with this change is their less serious manner about marriage and family, which is unacceptable to the tradition. Also, most Chinese young people are prone to imitate the Korean pop stars strange styles of clothing and dressing hair. These phenomenon shows that the youth are quicker learner of different ideas from other cultures. Thus, youth culture is an indispensable subculture.

However, youth culture by no means equals to the contemporary culture in one society. Though youth are the future of one society, the main power in current society is in the adults, the monitor of the youth. Studying the trends of its youth alone will undoubtedly lose other pictures in the culture. For one thing, youth are learners; their ideas and trends are far from constant or stable. Common sense tells that the youth are fast in changing from one style to another. The quick change of the trends reduces it to only a small spot in the culture, let alone representing the whole culture. For another, because of the authority of the adults, youth adhere to their parents' and teachers' values, moral and ethics standards, and some other ideas, to some degree. Though many middle school boys and girls indulging themselves into crazy admiration about the Korean styles once, they finally choose to stay in the classroom studying, in school uniforms, which is the require from both parents and schools. Therefore, the ideas, values of the adults are constant part in one culture. Moreover, the adults are the crucial part in any activities in one society. They produce movies, music, arts and so forth, the main ways of presenting one culture. Thus, more attention should be paid to the adults.

In sum, to understand contemporary culture, one needs to investigate different aspects in the society and makes careful analysis.

leafdropsUID??2251505

TOPIC: ISSUE6 - "The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."
WORDS: 553          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-8-9
What is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture? To analyze the trends of its youth? Personally, I maintain that youth only are one group in the society.[是不是该把only和are的位置调一下，尽管是小问题] And to get a clear picture about one modern culture, careful and comprehensible examination is better.
Admittedly, youth's trends are an important part in modern culture. For one thing, the youth are the pillar of one society; their trends will influence one society's culture much[还是语言上觉得这个much不是很好]. Each generation has its own distinctive culture. American history witnesses such representative culture styles of different generation, and gives them different names which showing[定于从句应该用show吧] the differences between generations. Films, music, paint[三个单复数统一？] also shows[数的问题] the influence of the youth culture. Take the cowboy for example, with so many movies, literature works and clothing trends about the theme of cowboy[用it指代避免重复？]; such youth trends [前面并没有表现出young的特征]demonstrate its power on the society's culture.[这个例子就是没有很好的抓住cowboy trend的young的特征] For another, youth are at best age for learning different kinds of things. They perceive sensitively the slight change in culture and assimilate it quickly and finally represent it in their behaviors, dresses and other aspects. China is a persuasive example in this point. With the Open and Reform Policy, foreign cultures are introduced in. The opinions about sex in western countries affect the new generation a lot. Though many adults are so conservative that no topic about sex beyond couples is allowed, the youth hold a total different view. They get the idea that sex is nothing different from daily topic through watching the western films and TV series. Along with this change is their less serious manner about marriage and family, which is unacceptable to the tradition. Also, most Chinese young people are prone to imitate the Korean pop stars strange styles of clothing and dressing hair.[寒流这个问题还是不要写了好，毕竟有太多国情老外不知道] These phenomenon shows that the youth are quicker learner of different ideas from other cultures. Thus, youth culture is an indispensable subculture.
这段话的主要问题在主题是trends of its youth are important parts，可是论者过程与例子都没有体现出important这一点，通过与成年的对比是不能表现出这点的。可以说现在年轻人的观点将来很有可能成为社会的主流观点，因为在成年后他们成为了社会的最重要的主题之类，通过这些来强调重要性。
However, youth culture by no means equals to the contemporary culture in one society. Though youth are the future of one society, the main power in current society is in the adults, the monitor of the youth. Studying the trends of its youth alone will undoubtedly lose other pictures in the culture. For one thing[两段都是for one thing for another,换个说法吧], youth are learners; their ideas and trends are far from constant or stable. Common sense tells that the youth are fast in changing from one style to another. The quick change of the trends reduces it to only a small spot in the culture, let alone representing the whole culture. For another, because of the authority of the adults, youth adhere to their parents' and teachers' values, moral and ethics standards, and some other ideas, to some degree. Though many middle school boys and girls indulging themselves into crazy admiration about the Korean styles once, they finally choose to stay in the classroom studying, in school uniforms, which is the require from both parents and schools. Therefore, the ideas, values of the adults are constant part in one culture.[如果是adhere的话那岂不是证明了youth trends是可以表现当代文化了么，因为youth adhere adults，而adults是主流] Moreover, the adults are the crucial part in any activities in one society. They produce movies, music, arts and so forth,[说的有点小绝对化] the main ways of presenting one culture. Thus, more attention should be paid to the adults. [结论也是最好立在youth不能很好表现，而不要说adults，毕竟这个社会不是只有youth和adults两种人吧，为了严密性]
In sum, to understand contemporary culture, one needs to investigate different aspects in the society and makes careful analysis.
[是不是规定的时间没写完阿？否则这种结尾也太……不过我到现在都很苦于结尾该怎么写]
总体来说文章的思路还是很清楚的，除了细节上的问题感觉就是例子还是过于中国化，没有很好的外面的例子。当然我也是很头痛这个东西。希望有什么经验再多交流吧。

ghost33UID??2267869

先谢谢修改。回去再想想了来

菲子UID??2311527

TOPIC: ISSUE6 - "The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."

WORDS: 553          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-8-9

What is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture? To analyze the trends of its youth? （这句话放到Word里面就是一个语法错误，我觉得是太口语化了，改成陈述句比较没意思，就把句子成分弄完整吧）Personally, I maintain that youth only are （are only）one group in the society. And to get a clear picture about one modern culture, careful and comprehensible examination is better.

Admittedly, youth's trends are an important part in modern culture. For one thing, the youth are the pillar of one society; their trends will influence one society's culture much. Each generation has its own distinctive culture. American history witnesses such representative culture styles of different generation, and gives them different names which showing the differences between generations. Films, music, paint also shows the influence of the youth culture. Take the cowboy for example, with so many movies, literature works and clothing trends about the theme of cowboy; such youth trends demonstrate its power on the society's culture. For another, youth are at best age for learning different kinds of things. They perceive sensitively the slight change in culture and assimilate it quickly and finally represent it in their behaviors, dresses and other aspects. China is a persuasive example in this point. With the Open and Reform Policy, foreign cultures are introduced in. The opinions about sex in western countries affect the new generation a lot. Though many adults are so conservative that no topic about sex beyond couples is allowed, the youth hold a total different view. They get the idea that sex is nothing different from daily topic through watching the western films and TV series. Along with this change is their less serious manner about marriage and family, which is unacceptable to the tradition. Also, most Chinese young people are prone to imitate the Korean pop stars strange styles of clothing and dressing hair. These phenomenon (phenomena) shows (show) that the youth are quicker learner of different ideas from other cultures. (我觉得这个point 说服力不够强，容易吸收外界观点好像不太能支持年轻人文化的重要性这个观点，后面举的例子倒是确实说明了年轻人文化的独特之处，没有问题。或者，你可是说说容易吸收外界观点，使得社会上的文化更加丰富多彩，过渡一下) Thus, youth culture is an indispensable subculture.

However, youth culture by no means equals to the contemporary culture in one society. Though youth are the future of one society, the main power in current society is in the adults, the monitor of the youth. Studying the trends of its youth alone will undoubtedly lose other pictures in the culture. For one thing, youth are learners（你看，你这边又用他们学得快来反驳自己前面的观点了，所以还是需要一些过渡）; their ideas and trends are far from constant or stable. Common sense tells that the youth are fast in changing from one style to another. The quick change of the trends reduces it to only a small spot in the culture, let alone representing the whole culture. For another, because of the authority of the adults, youth adhere to their parents' and teachers' values, moral and ethics standards, and some other ideas, to some degree. Though many middle school boys and girls indulging themselves into crazy admiration about the Korean styles once, they finally choose to stay in the classroom studying, in school uniforms, which is the require （requirement） from both parents and schools. Therefore, the ideas, values of the adults are constant part in one culture. Moreover, the adults are the crucial part in any activities in one society. They produce movies, music, arts and so forth, the main ways of presenting one culture. Thus, more attention should be paid to the adults. （我感觉这段是不是还是说年轻人说太多了，既然他们还是乖乖按照传统来做，那么这些传统的东西是不是也可以算作年轻人文化的一部分呢？我觉得倒是后面成年人怎么crucial的部分再多充实一点。）

In sum, to understand contemporary culture, one needs to investigate different aspects in the society and makes careful analysis.

ghost33UID??2267869

回复落叶：
1、[是不是该把only和are的位置调一下，尽管是小问题]

谢谢，很nice的建议。经常写着写着就乱来了。

2、[还是语言上觉得这个much不是很好].

还是想不出用什么好。能说什么呢？great？

3、[定于从句应该用show吧]

这里的错误没逃过你的法眼，呵呵……

4、Films, music, paint[三个单复数统一？] also shows[数的问题] the influence of the youth culture.

最开始我是写的三个复数，放到word里面，它建议我写成这样的。我就没多想了。不过现在仔细想想，你说的是对的。完全采纳你的建议。

5、[用it指代避免重复？];

这里我倾向于不用it。因为这里还是算第一次详细解说这个例子。

6、such youth trends [前面并没有表现出young的特征]demonstrate its power on the society's culture.[这个例子就是没有很好的抓住cowboy trend的young的特征]

严重同意！！应该再去写写young的特征。比如那些年轻人经常模仿cowboy的装束？

7、[寒流这个问题还是不要写了好，毕竟有太多国情老外不知道]

在没有进一步例子的情况下，不写这个脑中没料了。

8、这段话的主要问题在主题是trends of its youth are important parts，可是论者过程与例子都没有体现出important这一点，通过与成年的对比是不能表现出这点的。可以说现在年轻人的观点将来很有可能成为社会的主流观点，因为在成年后他们成为了社会的最重要的主题之类，通过这些来强调重要性。

严重同意！应该陈述一下：年轻人的思想可以影响社会的文化，如同你说的[现在年轻人的观点将来很有可能成为社会的主流观点]

9、[两段都是for one thing for another,换个说法吧],

完全接受！词汇贫乏啊！！还剩下个：on one hand, on the other.呵呵……

10、.[如果是adhere的话那岂不是证明了youth trends是可以表现当代文化了么，因为youth adhere adults，而adults是主流] Moreover, the adults are the crucial part in any activities in one society. They produce movies, music, arts and so forth,[说的有点小绝对化] the main ways of presenting one culture. Thus, more attention should be paid to the adults. [结论也是最好立在youth不能很好表现，而不要说adults，毕竟这个社会不是只有youth和adults两种人吧，为了严密性]

严重同意中……

11、[是不是规定的时间没写完阿？否则这种结尾也太……不过我到现在都很苦于结尾该怎么写]


不好意思地说一句，我不知看的是什么贴，故意写的短开头和结尾。我不是很明白要怎么弄这两段！

12、总体来说文章的思路还是很清楚的，除了细节上的问题感觉就是例子还是过于中国化，没有很好的外面的例子。当然我也是很头痛这个东西。希望有什么经验再多交流吧。

非常感谢leafdrops如此认真细致的修改……受益匪浅。再次拜谢！再讨论，共同努力！！

ghost33UID??2267869

菲子的修改今天晚上再看看，先谢谢ing

ghost33UID??2267869

同意菲子的意见，写的时候太仓促，并且没有好好思考成熟

继续努力中