issue7 再写的一遍 欢迎大家猛拍 附提纲

xiongnashiongUID：2359406

分领域写法，具体事件领域 和 抽象表述领域
1.照相机对比write的优势
2.wirte对比相机的优势
3.未来的发展趋势。

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 605          TIME: 上午 12:45:00          DATE: 2007-8-14

I concede that video camera could do a better work in some usages, however, if speakers' claim expand to a over-statement that video camera is important than writing in documentation regardless of specific usuage, it will lose my support.
When documentation refers to the usages aiming at replaying a specific affair, or prescribe the exact situation. it surely is superior to writing due to its following characters.Fristly, video camera could provide a more vivid and visual image as well as sound while writing could not, and this superiority could stimulate a more real feeling about contents of people while writing could not. we need look no further than "911" tragedy to illustrate this point. I first read this news on the newspaper which used lots of words like" very painful" "extremely horable", however, it was hard to imagine what atmosphere it was, but when I watched TV and saw that numerous of people jumped down the World Trading Building to avoid death from fire as well as tremendous of cornered people's relations cried to faint under the building. Anger to the Terrists and sympathy to the people suffering from this disaster immediately aroused, this shocking feeling surely could not be conveyed by just writing. Secondly, video camera could adapt to diverse environment thus protect people and would not feel fatigue so it could work regardless of time limits while writing usually involves writer in person. Science exploring and experiment could be the dearest beneficiaries fo this superiority. when scientists want to go to the deep sea to find its secrety, they need not run a high risk to go there in person while video camera could be their eyes. as well as experiments, they have not to wait in the lab all the time and observe wholeheartedly to prevent neglecting some details, video camera could work instead. Finally, camera could play an important evidential role in court judgement because it never tell a lie, unlike writing. According to this superiority, it is widely used in Bank monitoring, traffic checking- check whether vehicles violate the regulation or not, and so forth.

However, these superioities immediate pale when comes into the realms requiring abstract records, and writing, at this time, could be better than video camera. we know that one of the paramount invention of human beings is words. why? it is mainly because words could succeed in prescribing abstract things, involving emotion, feeling, theory, and so forth. Imagine that people want to note his emotion and affairs in a day, if he choose to use video camera, we could see just ostensible behavior of him but not what he really sense, however, if he write his daily notes, it is easy for us to stand in his figure and know his mood. in addition, when it come to some scientific theory, which also referring abstract math, generalized summarizing, words also could easily deal with these work while video could do nothing, we never know how quantum theory could be expressed via video camara, nor we never know how a 5000-year history is noted by it, but due to the generalizing function and ability to note abstract of words, we could overcome these obstacles.

In conclusion, we could not easily evaluate which one, words or video camera, is better while they own their distinct superiorities in different usage, however, the development trend nowadays involves combinate the their distinct superiorities in one document, for example, "e-books" nowadays is welcome in many univeristies due to its marriage of video camera and words' superiorities. and it could predicts that in future, more and more documents will be made in this way.

woodmanUID：161906

Iconcede that video camera could do a better work in some usages, however, if speakers' claim expand to a over-statement that（这个表达很绕啊） video camera is important（用比较级） than writing in documentation regardless ofspecific usuage, it will lose my support.

Whendocumentation refers to the usages aiming at replaying a specific affair, orprescribe the exact situation. it surely is superior to writing due to itsfollowing characters. Firstly, video camera could provide a more vivid andvisual image as well as sound while writing could not, and this superioritycould stimulate a more real feeling about contents of people while writingcould not. We need look no further than "911" tragedy to illustratethis point. I first read this news on the newspaper which used lots of wordslike" very painful" "extremely horable（虾米意思？）", however, it was hard to imaginewhat atmosphere it was, but when I watched TV and saw that numerous of peoplejumped down the World Trading Building to avoid death from fire as well as tremendousof cornered people's relations cried to faint under the building. Anger to the Terrists and sympathy to the people sufferingfrom this disaster immediately aroused, this shocking feeling surely could notbe conveyed by just writing.（看报纸应该也会有这种感觉，只是没这么强烈，所以这里你要添油加醋一下，呵呵） Secondly, video camera could adapt to diverseenvironment thus protect people and would not feel fatigue so it could workregardless of time limits while writing usually involves writer in person.（这个句子两个因此，意思太多了，拆开好点，involves writer inperson不知道你是什么意思） Science exploring andexperiment could be the dearest beneficiaries of this superiority. Whenscientists want to go to the deep sea to find itssecrety（换个专业的说法，比如研究海底生物什么的）, they need not（to） run a high risk to go there in person（到底什么risk没有说） while video camera could be their eyes.（既然你突出省时间的优点，那么这个risk什么的放在这里是多余的） as well as experiments, they have not to wait in the lab all the time andobserve wholeheartedly to prevent neglecting some details, video camera couldwork instead. Finally, （缺小的总领句）camera could play an important evidential role in court judgement because it never tell a lie, unlike writing（这个表达不是很好，就说它比书面纪录客观好了，说lie有点言过其词了）. According to this superiority, it iswidely used in Bank monitoring, traffic checking- check whether vehiclesviolate the regulation or not, and so forth.段尾缺总结

However,these superiorities immediate pale when comes into the realms requiring abstract records（抽象的纪录？知道你的意思，但这样引起人误解，以为是一种抽象的纪录方式，而不是纪录抽象的内容，呵呵）, and writing, at this time（这个词不高级，不如不用）, could be better than video camera. weknow that one of the paramount invention of human beings is words. why? it ismainly because words could succeed in prescribing abstract things, involvingemotion, feeling, theory, and so forth. Imagine that people want to note hisemotion and affairs（video真实纪录事情还是可以做到的） in a day, if he choose to use video camera, we could see just ostensiblebehavior of him but not what he really sense, however, if he write his dailynotes, it is easy for us to stand in his figure and know his mood. in addition,when it come to some scientific theory, which also（从何而来？） referring abstract math, generalizedsummarizing, words also could easily deal with these work while video could donothing, we never know how quantum theory could be expressed via video camara,nor we never know how a 5000-year history（历史和抽象有什么关联？） is noted by it, but due to thegeneralizing function and ability to note abstract of words, we could overcomethese obstacles.

Inconclusion, we could not easily evaluate which one, words or video camera, isbetter while they own their distinct superiorities in different usage（situation）, however, the development trend nowadays involves combinate the theirdistinct superiorities in one document, for example, "e-books"nowadays is welcome in many univeristies due to its marriage of video cameraand words' superiorities. and it could predicts that in future, more and moredocuments will be made in this way.（however后面那些来的很突兀阿，前面没有铺垫）
结构清晰，例子也还不错，语言和句式上有待加强。